Jester’s Jaffle Pie

The pies are mediocre but what really disappointed me was this store does not sell Krispy Kremes. I would go there every day if it had them.

For years I have wondered what Jester’s pies must be like and today I finally gave them a shot. I’ve read comments online such as «when Perth people go out for fast food they don’t go after junk!», referring to the supposed quality of places like Jester’s. The pies looked good — the place smelled inviting. Surely popular sentiment and years of hype couldn’t be wrong?
I went in to the Bull Creek location and ordered a selection of four pies — just so I could say I sampled a variety. I purchased a couple for my mum as well, since I am staying with her during the final weeks of my university and while I wait to re-​establish myself in Perth. We had an Angus Beef Pepper Steak, a Maharaja, a Spud… something that was potato and beef, and a «nutty chicken» satay pie. The things looked fantastic. As soon as I got home I picked up the potato and beef pie and had a bite…
I can best describe the consistency and flavour of the experience as being like eating vaguely beef-​flavoured, warm goo. I have never been a huge fan of potato in my pie so I chalked it up to poor choice and tried the satay chicken. Now, I’m something of an aficionado when it comes to all things satay, so this couldn’t be bad, could it?
The «satay» flavour I received from this pie, which was similarly gooey and nondescript, was reminiscent of the sort of «satay» flavour you might expect to find in a McDonald’s chicken nuggets dipping sauce sachet during some Asian-​themed promotion. In short: like no satay you’ve ever tasted beyond the realm of lowest-​common-​denominator junk food.
Mum ate half the pepper steak and threw it away, describing it as «nothing but gravy» and immediately had a cup of coffee to «take the taste of the pie away» — no wonder Jester’s runs a «Pie and coffee» promotion! To round things off, I took a single bite of the «Maharaja — Butter Chicken» pie and, sure enough, it tasted like someone had taken an end-​of-​day buffet warming tray from an Indian restaurant, washed the dregs away in the sink but, instead of draining away the water, added some cornflour to thicken it up and called the it «Jester’s Butter Chicken Pie Filling®».
I don’t understand the hype.