Tim Hortons

The staff here have no fire under their ass to get the orders in resulting in some of the worse line up situations I have ever seen. Lines which coiling endlessly among a pack of over coifed females in TNA pants and males who have managed to use both a bottle of cologne and neglect basic hygiene such as deodorant.
As the line moves forward slow like molasses in January, I am reminded that sometimes my fellow students need help, so of course I am readily available to provide them with tips and tricks to ace this sort of situation in «the real world»:
DON’T BE A DOUCHEBAG 101: Remember the slightly racist notion of «Chinese butting» that used to happen back in grade school line ups? Me neither because I would freak out whenever that sort of behaviour would occur. If you are in line decide your pack of five friends automatically get to bypass everyone to join you, prepare to hear a mouthful. This is not bar or club, it’s Timmies and quite frankly we
ECONOMICS: If you have $ 3or to simplify a loonie and toonie or to simplify further a shiny gold coin and a slightly bigger gold one with a silver circle… make sure your desired item does not cost $ 2.99! You see in Canada we pay taxes and in the province of Ontario that tax is a cool 13% on almost all things you buy! SO… when you get to the cash and yoi are holding it up by asking your buddies to provide you with $ 0.25, don’t be surprised if I am (with care and delight of course) throwing a quarter at your head and heckling you to hurry the hell up already!
PHYSICS: What causes an object to propel fprward? My elbow in your ribs mayhaps?! I think a wise rapper named Ludacris once said «When I move you move…» So pay attention to the line and move up for god sakes giving the rest of us hope that our double double is just a bit closer.
CRITICAL THINKING: So you’ve spent what feel like a semester in line and you are finally at the front of the line… so why are you stalling? Please tell me you are just NOW thinking of what you will order. Timmies is one of the best known chain in country… I can rattle off their menu items better than I can remember how to do algebra so why are you so unsure of your order. My suggestion is to take a minute hour glass (a la scrabble) present at the counter followed by a large buzzer sound with indicates your time is up (subsequent launch out of Etobicoke via catapult could be a nice secondary touch.)
I would avoid this place at all cost except it’s sort of slim pickings in this area.