Swallow Cafe

The fried pizza was lovely but the chips weren’t great. The ice cream was pretty good and well cheap!

Not too bad as chips shops go! The fritters are the best, the fish has too many bones so don’t buy it for the kids!

Eh… how to write ‘this place is mince and not worth touching with a barge pole that just happens to be longer than the longest barge pole to have ever poled a barge’ without saying this place is mince and not worth touchi… shit.
Aye. Chips, fried stuff, fizzy stuff plus other junk sold in a empty vessel of a joint. This place don’t even have the feel of a much loved local institution, its just… well, mince.
Sorry guys.

This longstanding Dennistoun chippy is nothing out of the ordinary, serving up greasy chips, pizzas, confectionery and the Glasgow favourite: glass bottles of Irn Bru.
This charmless chippy seems lacking in character, with its bare white walls and bright lighting. With its enviable location, The Swallow Café has the potential to be a great chippy loved by locals, but instead it is a soulless surroundings attracts the local rowdy youngsters that like to hang around on the corner outside and wander in to annoy the grumpy members of staff. Service very much without a smile.

More of a chippie than a café, the Swallow Café has one door if you want to sit in and another if you’re taking away. During a lazy study day, I made the short trip up here to give it a go.
The butt of many jokes, I was apprehensive about the food in here.
Aside from the traditional chippie fare, there are paninis and baguettes, and some traditional Turkish kebabs. I got a cheeseburger and a hot chocolate to take away. (I really do dread the day my metabolism slows down — I’m going to have to start eating healthily)
As I waited, I noticed that one door had the notice «Take away only — use other door for sit-​in» and the other door had «Sit-​in only — use other door for take-​away». Unfortunately these notices could only be read from the inside, so the funny looks I got for walking in the wrong door were a bit unnecessary.
The staff were a bit sullen. The cheeseburger came with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onion and tomato sauce. It was nice, not too gigantic, and the hot chocolate was pretty good too.
Nothing spectacular here though, so I probably wouldn’t go again unless I was already hungry and going past.