Two Brewers

We were thrown out of here on Saturday night. But they aren’t losing any stars for that. Truthfully they should have thrown us out sooner!
The music here is amazing. Like proper, proper cheese. We were up dancing on the tables for most of the night.
Everyone is really nice and in a good mood too. From the lovely toilet lady to the occassionally topless bar staff.
It also has a glitter stage that puts on drag shows at midnight and which you can dance on after.
I always come here if I need to chase my blues away with a heavy remedy of Taylor Swift and jagerbombs. Never a dull moment.

This is a great spot, very informal and friendly!
Prefer going on a Thursday when they have cabaret acts!
Don’t expect great service, but just enjoy the warm environment!
Kx

A cabaret bar, club or dive? Who can tell.
Like most gay bars its predominantly male dominated, but when you’re tied down with a ball and chain it ddosnt make too much of a difference. That said, twas the ball and chain that introduced me to the sewers and as she says, this place is as old as her.
Whenever I’m here a good time is had by all. If it wasn’t near impossible to get home from here I’d be a regular.
Two Brewers is a place that does exactly what it says in the tin.

A great gay club in Clapham, London. I have had many a fun night there & seen some top Drag acts, such as Kandi Kane Baxter & Dave Lynn, In fact Dave Lynn gave me the mike one night & I had the stage to myself & sung Hey Big Spender! to the audience (Thanks for that Dave) I even motorboated Pam Ann there & was her backing dancer (Thanks for that Pam)
The drinks are reasonable & the crowd a mix of gay men, straight men, lesbians & Fag Hags, young & old of every type & every creed & colour. I have never had a bad night there whether it was a packed to the rafters, or a quieter night, night buses go from stops just outside so if you live in London or have late night trains, you can still get home after the tubes close.

Great venue. Regular cabaret and 2 bars. One is a club bar the other for cabaret which they have on most nights of the weeks.
Guaranteed a great night but the crown can be on the young side and they cram as many in the doors as their licence will allow.
A really nice change from Soho/​Vauxhall with the attitude free gays.

I used to live in Battersea and the Two Brewers was my local gay bar. Every Saturday night seemed to follow the same formula: the cheesiest cheese in the front with sticky floors (to the point you cannot lift your feet from the floor) and a show around midnight. In the back, a larger dance floor with dance music that is basically dance versions of the music played out front.
Last night I returned for the first time in 6 years to find out that it hasn’t changed a bit. Same sticky floors, same music front and back, show at midnight, a comprehensive mix of all types of gay men, fag hags and girls who’d rather dance here relatively hassle free as opposed to Infernos up the road.
There are worse things to do on a Saturday night (like X factor!).

The Sewers, affectionately named by the kids in Clapham, this place is in a league of its own. It’s one of the last standing old school bars in the gayrea.
You’ll find a completely mixed crowed of guys, girls, straight, camp, old, and young: all drinking together, dancing to a ridiculous mix of music that ranges from the Eurythmics to Kascada and it’s a blast.
The drinks are cheap, there are random drag performances, and there’s a back room that plays more electro dance club type music if you just want to have fun and dance with some friends.
It’s quickly become one of my favorite places, given it’s very laid back, non pretentious feel that culminate with my affinity towards cheap drinks. Well done 2 Brewers, well done, you.

Great atmosphere, nice crowd with a dance club at the rear and cabaret at the front

Oh Two Brewers you are indeed a relic from a bygone age — but a fabulous one, so we’ll let you off — big stylee.
Situated on Clapham High Street, just north of Clapham Common tube, it’s a gawdy, tacky and über camp venue which makes no apologies for it’s dedication to all things old-​school. Drag Queens? Check. The latest Gaga, Beyonce or Madge on the jukebox? Check. This place is camper than Louie Spence in a pink leotard running around a campsite sprinkling sparkly fairy dust.
Two Brewers looks and feels like any gay bar from the past 20 years. What it manages to do quite brilliantly though is have an air of no-​nonsense and no-​attitude. Chat to anyone at the bar and they’re more than likely to chat back with a big smile on their face and (shock horror) might genuinely be interested in what you have to say. Something that is all together missing from the majority of scene-​queen haunts situated in Soho.

I liked the Two Brewers. To tell the truth, I loved it. It’s a good place if you want to go and have a chat with a female friend and not be pestered by blokes.
Until I was told by a gay mate that some straight guys go there to chat up women who are trying to get away from the blokes in the first place!!!

There’s something a bit old-​school gay about the Two Brewers, with its drag hosts and karaōke nights but with no real competition in the immediate area it certainly pulls in a strong South London crowd.
Thankfully, for those that may not like the interactive elements of the main cabaret floor, there is a back room which, when open, plays more up to date dance music and offers a complete change of atmosphere.
The venue is an affordable night out, drinks are well priced and there is always something happening, whether that’s a salsa night or seeing the new Pam Ann show. The venue is open to 4am on a weekend and really draws in the crowds so, should you be so inclined, you should have no problems pulling!
If you’re near the common then you have to check this place out!

You may think you are in Clapham, London but going to the Two Brewers feels more like a trip to a provincial gay bar in perhaps Bristol or Brighton. This is because the clientelle is not siloed as in Soho but has all shapes and sizes thrown together. But boy do they know how to have fun. In the front room is the cheezy pop and cabaret — rammed on a friday and saturday. In the back is the dance floor with club beats and slightly sleezy vibe. Take your pick. You cant fail to have a good night here, unless you are a complete central london scene queen.
Drinks priced ok, bar staff cheerful and varied, clientelle up for it. Good pulling potential.

The Two Brewers is one of the most popular gay venues in South London.
It’s easy to see it’s attraction, especially at the weekends, for those who are gagging for a fun night out without having to pay West End prices or falling asleep on a nightbus.
The Bar is open most nights, serving affordable drinks. The main room often has some form of cabaret usually hosted by a regular drag act with karaōke on sundays. I find this room a bit suburban 70’s gay for me but it’s always busy so maybe i’m in the minority.
There is a second room, playing more up-​to-​date dance tracks, at the back, usually opened Thursday — Sunday. again it doesn’t compete with the big clubs but for simple night out it’s more than sufficient.
The crowd spans all sectors of the gay scenes, so expect to see a wide range of ages, shapes and fashion styles. The chances of pulling is always high depending on how low your standards sometimes go but compared to some of the attitude-​laden bars in Soho it can be a real good laugh.