Disney’s Jungle Cruise

Ok, this ride is a bit dated. The technology is not the best, and there have been very few updates over the years. It’s slow, and not too exciting. So then you are probably thinking, «So why, Mike are you giving it five stars?» I’ll tell you… IT“S THE JOKES! The jokes are the best! One of my dreams is to retire and then go to work at Disneyland as one of the drivers on the Jungle Cruise. Someday…

It is often a long hot line to get in and the ride runs too long. While I enjoyed it as a kid I don’t bother with it anymore. If I do go it’s purely for nostalgia. Kids enjoy the animatronic animals, but the jokes are cheesy. With limited time on each visit I prefer other rides.

This is a great ride for family. The line up is generally reasonable and it moves really fast. It’s nothing exciting, no big drops or turns but the Jungle cruise captain (Skipper Lucy) was HILARIOUS that’s why I have to give it 5 stars. She was making so many great jokes making everyone laugh so hard.

The amount of puns they built into this rides dialogue is unreal. A great ride for the whole family! A good ride to cool off and enjoy a good laugh!

I feel like I liked this ride so much more as a child.
Going on the ride now I feel a little let down. I don’t know if I’ve just gotten older and maybe out grown it but its not a ride I’m dissapointed by if we skip. Don’t get me wrong I will whole heartily go on the ride if there a short wait time and I will enjoy being off my feet for a few minutes but it just doesn’t feel as exciting as it did when I was a kid.
And that is okay.
I know somethings are going to be like that. This ride is still a classic Disneyland ride and if you have never been on the world famous Jungle Cruise you really must at least once! But I wouldn’t wait in a line over 15 minutes.

This is one of the must-​do rides at Disneyland. Not only has it been open since the park’s inception in 1955, it has grown and evolved but still keeps its nostalgic charm. Mellow enough for little kids and humorous enough for adults who are tired of dragging their tots around the park.
For those of you who have never been on this ride before, when it was started it was a very serious tour of a jungle. Your skipper on the boat would point out animals, foliage and other items to deliver fun facts about. Quickly, the ride stopped taking itself seriously and now riding it is like going to a pun-​filled comedy show.
It’s one of the longer rides at Disney, and usually only a modest wait. Every skipper has their own unique jokes along with some staples (Schweitzer Falls will be pointed out to you). If you’ve been on it a lot of times, I recommend riding it at night for a new perspective. Even better — being on the Jungle Cruise while the fireworks are happening.
During the holiday season it flips into the Jingle Cruise with all kinds of holiday-​related jokes. I like this one slightly better, since I can basically recite the standard tour, but they’re all fun.

This ride is always fun to get on and the line is either non existent or it’s so long that you have to go up and down stairs and twist and turn so many times that it seems like it’s never ending.
The cast members used to have a script that they all followed («Aaaand we’re off! I wish I was off…») But because it was so old a lot of people knew it and some would recite it along with them, which annoyed them and the people who had never been there before. So now they all have a different version of the same thing that they say to describe the sights during the ride. However, some things have stayed exactly the same like the 8^th wonder of the world is the back side of water.
The boat drivers do their best to make things fun for everyone and most of their jokes are are cliché or corny but that’s part of the whole experience and it’s kind of sad when people don’t even give them a pity laugh and just stare at them while they try to recover or keep the mood upbeat.
This is one of the earlier rides in the park and it really shows with the old school animatronics and dated attractions, but that’s the whole appeal of the ride. You honestly have to go into it knowing that the ride is going to be more nostalgic than anything else and your expectations will be met. It’s appropriate for all ages and it’s a nice ride that everyone can get on together and enjoy.
#42/​100

Cheesey? of course. Classic? Too me it is. This ride was one of my fave’s as a little tyke and to this day, still remains one. I mean who doesn’t like to see safari expeditioner climbing a pole in the unenviable position of having a rhino horn potentially drive them hard and deep in the arse? Ouch!!!
A couple other of my favorite parts include listening to the corniest of jokes parlayed by the boat «captains» along the way, the head hunter who will trade you «two of his heads for one of yours», seeing «the backside of water» and the «thoughtful» lion pride seeing over the sleeping zebra. Epic!!!
Yeah, the $hit is corny but to me, it never gets old…

This ride never gets old! The jokes are so cheesy, yet I laugh at everyone. The ride is short and you go in a circle but I always get off smiling and enjoying my self completely. Don’t wait longer then 15 minutes for the cruise, it’s fun and it’s a staple in Disneyland but no more than 15 minutes I would wait. The gift shop located across the way is full of animal printed items and safari gear! My absolute favorite penny smashing machine in all of disney is in this shop. The giant elephant at the top moves when the penny is crushed, it’s super interactive and enjoyable.

The jungle cruise can either be a super short line or last forever. There are stairs in this line so if you can’t do stairs, go behind the fruit stand and wait for your party or get in the handicap line.
This ride is great for kids and adults. The kids love seeing all of the realistic animals and the adults love the hilarious tour guide.
This ride is a boat on water with lots of water features but you have a 99.9% chance of staying dry. At one point an elephant mists the boat but I’ve never seen anyone get wet.

This is one of those timeless rides that bring people together. People of ALL ages can go on this ride. There are some rides on Disneyland that are more for kids only, but this ride honestly hits home.
The tour guides are always happy and their jokes are hilarious! There are some jokes that people don’t get, but I still found hilarious. I think this is one of those rides that bring memories of the time I was a kid, and hopefully when I am older, I can have memories of this age that I am now. Super cheesy, like the others have stated, but it is cute. Thank you for preserving memories for everyone Disney!

Update the script? Don’t you dare Disney! The jungle cruise is a Disneyland classic that is perfect as is. We cruised twice this visit. Both jungle guides were equally fun, yet different, toying with our expectations of decades old jokes about to be delivered.
The five year old and six year old in our party were alternately excited and disturbed their first time through the cruise. Second time? They were veteran cruisers, laughing along with the jokes even if they didn’t quite understand them all. They did, however, understand the fun everyone was having.
Lines here usually aren’t too long, but the time to wait sign posted at the entrance was quite inaccurate this visit, far understating the actual wait times. The line winds around, upstairs and down, so don’t be too optimistic even if the line is not stretching outside the door. That said, the Jungle Cruise is worth a bit of a wait and the wait will likely be much shorter than some other major attractions. Come on in and check out the back side of water!!!
A highly sentimental five stars awarded. No Fast Pass.

It’s always a hit or miss with this ride. You’ll either get a f (&*cking HIGHlarious tour guide or… one that isn’t funny. MOST of the time you do, but on occasion you will get one that talks into the mic so hard all you hear is muffling noises. Get ready for cheesy jokes and puns — those are the best, but if you’re too cool for that stuff, don’t get on this ride!
Super underrated, it also gets festive during certain holidays. Have fun!

Loved this ride.
Relaxing when you want to just sit and enjoy Disney magic.
The jungle is amazing. The props were awesome.
The boat driver was the highlight! He was entertaining and every joke was on point. I laughed a lot throughout the ride.
I want to ride this again with another driver to see if they tell the same jokes.

— Locale Destination —
It’s in Disneyland — Adventureland, right next to «Indiana Jones».
Wet possibility: No — unless you put your hands in the waterfall… You don’t get wet.
Ride: Small boat with lots of strangers. Ride it when you’re tired of walking and/​or playing.
Waiting: Not that long unless it’s in the peak season.
Fastpass: No
— Gluttony Expedition —
This is a classy Disneyland ride that anyone can enjoy. It’s a short boat ride that cruises in the jungle with a funny skipper. Very mild ride, yet you can feel «Walt Disney». I can definitely tell you most female skippers are boring, not funny. I’m pretty funny despite of being a female, but it seems to be rare… Pick the male one — your experience will be 1000x better for some reasons. I can see the reasons why Walt Disney chose «male» to be a skipper originally. Women don’t seem to have the corny sense of humor men have?! On this ride, women won’t work. Now some females complained and Disney has to utilize females for skippers… Female skippers pretty suck — I’ve never encountered the funny one. I don’t know why.
Btw, the one in Tokyo Disneyland pretty sucks. The funny jokes and rhythm they have in English will be diminished totally during the translation.
— Conqueror’s Deduction —
I like this ride!
I’m not a Disney freak nor good story teller unlike my Unilocal buddy, Milan B (Rancho Santa Fe, CA. He’s a total Disney geek and excellent story teller). You should read his Disney reviews for deep and interesting behind stories of lots of Disney establishments…

Cute ride all year long, make sure you sit up near the safari guide otherwise you miss a lot of the hidden jokes throughout the ride, they talk fast and some can deliver some awesome zingers and one-​liners. All the guides are different with different jokes and ideas. It’s really a fun ride.
The best part about it is at Christmas though… when it transforms to THE JINGLE CRUISE! Nice change of pace from the day-​to-​day cruise, it is different every year and keeps getting better and better.
Great ride for some giggles.
Weeeeeeeeee!!!

Always loved this ride especially when you get a real funny driver. Right now it’s the Jingle Cruise because of the Christmas Season so everything is decorated for the holidays even have presents floating around too. Better to ride this one during the day for better pictures. It’s also fun at night too.

Have you been on the Jingle Cruise? It’s the Jungle Cruise dressed up for the holidays. Last year it was barely noticeable but this year the folks at Disneyland went all out with the holiday overlay. There are holiday decorations to look at while waiting in line. There’s a sign that warns that a holiday shipment had gone missing. The boats are renamed too. The one we went on was called the ‘Jingle Belle.’ The jokes are holiday themed and the best part is that throughout the ride itself, you see all the animals in the jungle with the missing holiday decorations. It’s a really fun take on one of the classic Disney rides. If you get a chance, do ride it and enjoy the cheesy holiday jokes.

Can I express in words how much I LOVE this attraction? Is it possible? I LOVE the Jungle Cruise. There. I said it. It’s fantastic! It’s an attraction for everybody — as it doesn’t have a height requirement. It’s a boat. A boat with a skipper. A boat with a skipper, who tells jokes! Yes! Jokes! Yes. They might be cheesy… «eh, eh, eh» kind of jokes, but who doesn’t love those?! Me, I’m a sucker for them.
Now, the Jungle Cruise is a classic attraction. It was there on opening day, and it was featured a lot on the Disneyland television show that Walt Disney used to host promoting Disneyland.
Cross your fingers that you get an amazing skipper! They make or break your experience, but I think I’ve only ever had one bad skipper… and he was real bad. Like «get me off this boat» bad.

I could never figure out why the wait times for this ride have exceeded 40 minutes. Therefore, I hopped onto the Jingle Cruise when the line was nonexistent (at 8:15 in the morning).
Basically, you travel throughout various third world countries and encounter wild animals. There are native/​indigenous people that appeal to your inner world traveler! You’ll notice a zebra carcass displayed in the lions den, while other zebras watch from a short distance. The hippos might try to spray you with the water but it’s no big deal.
Finally, you’ll have to sit through some really bad jokes as your guide will attempt to entertain you throughout your journey.
This is definitely a ride that you should get on at least once. Children really enjoyed this ride too!