Aljon’s Pizza

I used to like this place when I used to live near it about 8 years ago. They had the best stromboli and calzones. I went back recently and it was totally different. They used to be regularly praised. But I guess the owner sold it and now its run by some lady who insists on keeping her kids with her in the kitchen. To say the least, my fond memories of this place as a struggling student are gone. Time to move on. Some things just change and you cannot force yourself to love it any more no matter how much you want to.

So, apparently I am in the minority with my opinion of Aljon’s. Personally I think it’s great! It’s not fresh or organic or anything resembling healthy, but if you are in the market for a good, thin crust, greasy pizza with a delightful seasoning, than you are in luck.

«Want some mediocre Italian?» my date asked.
«Whatever, I just want to eat,» I replied, unhappy that Jerusalem market was closed.
«OK, pull in over there.»
«Seriously? The barn with the Statue of Liberty on the sign?»
I pulled in, we walked in and were slightly disoriented. The proprietor pushed a printed menu toward me, but I preferred to glance at the menu board. The newly taped-​on prices seemed quite high for this EMPTY establishment, but we were hungry.
Being vegetarians, we skipped the subs and went for manicotti and eggplant Parmesan, which we indicated by pointing to the menu. The proprietor had some difficulty asking us about salad dressing choices, so we just went with the Italian.
We turned toward a booth, and a grubby, grubby little girl of about 3 and a half came bursting out of the back. Sticky fingers, a mouth surrounded by gooey chocolate, and pink stains all over her pants. Adorable, but disorientingly dirty.
She scooted into the booth with me and proceeded to count all my rings on my fingers. «Why do you have three? Why not four?» She wondered for a while in unintelligible language about a particular elbow freckle, asked me to take off a stray string from my top, grabbed my earlobes to ask about why I wasn’t wearing «rings» there too, counted my «ring» holes with her sticky hands, and went over to the booth where her little chopsticks were sitting in a bowl of good-​looking noodles and brought a «special bracelet» to show me. After maybe 10 minutes, her mother came from the back and asked her to come back, too.
The food was «eh.» The salads were two half-​inch pieces of green pepper, two pale slices of tomato, one thin ring of white onion, and iceberg lettuce. Actually, I dug my date’s eggplant, but I wouldn’t come back here for it. My manicotti was seriously flavorless. I added red pepper flakes and was unimpressed even then. The tomato sauce, which they must also use on their pizza, was totally bland and mysteriously dark red. The teeny (about one-​two inches by a quarter inch) ‘garlic bread’ strips were pretty decent.
One guy came in during the 45 minutes we were there, just to order pizzas. He had some communication issues with the proprietor as well.
As we walked out, we looked back up at the sign, only to notice that it also claimed the place sold country-​style barbecue! We hadn’t noticed it on the menu, but I can’t help but wonder if they’d do it on demand.
To help you get the picture:
Forest-​green wallpaper, elaborate floral designs on two walls, stripes on the others
Budweiser neon signs
Inflatable Corona and Shiner bottles
Orange formica booths
Dark wood paneling on some half-​walls
A mix of real and fake unkempt plants
Hockey playing at a decent volume on the TV you can’t see from the seating area
A ‘Last Action Hero’ pinball machine (so Arnold’s staring at you while you eat) and one other pinball game
Two Spain soccer champion banners
About half the windows have some bubbling tint
A Web review of the place from ages ago (very faded) is taped to one wall
The menu board has strips of paper taped over all the prices, and they’re clearly at least a quarter or more higher than they should be! Our entrees with «salads» and «garlic bread» included were $ 6.95 apiece.
Recommended if you want your grubby, curious toddler fix, but not otherwise!

This is kind of a stuck in the 80s greasy pizza place. It’s cheap and you can sit around for a while with your other broke friends. Once you get a real job, you never go back…

All right. It’s pizza. It’s in a building shaped like a barn, and if my memory serves me right, there’s a picture of the Statue of Liberty on the sign. I believe the folks who run it are Asian. How’s that for eclectic?
The inside looks like a badly-​outdated mechanic auto shop’s waiting room crossed with grandma’s kitchen. The fluorescent lighting and blaring TV is enough to make you want to wonder what possessed you to actually take a seat.
Their pizza is quite greasy, although an acquaintance from Philadelphia claims they have good «pie.» Well, I’m from California, and true «pie» or not, I’d rather have a fresh-​tasting pizza.