Lollipops: A Children’s Boutique

Well, my daughter loves coming in here, I am sure it is because of the bunny they had in the store. I really want to love his place. It’s cute and inviting but the prices on everything OMG!
These are children’s clothes for crying out loud. They will only be able to wear them for a short period of time. I Keep coming in in hopes that I will find a deal but it has yet to happen. I even went through a clearance rack outside the store, thought I had found an amazing little outfit for my daughter only to see that it was $ 54 ON CLEARANCE!!!
Cute store if you are rich and don’t care how much you spend on clothes for kids.

I first entered this store when it was on Madison ave (now on winslow). It is a beautiful, creative and unique store, with great clothes. The owner is from southern cal (perhaps I shouldn’t say that). I believe she also is a photographer which gives her and her eye more substance. When her shop was on winslow it was über cute and really brought some creative interior design to bainbridge stores. The owner, I believe, is the mastermind of the «santa postal service» that happens in front of her store every year before xmas. Children can deposit their christmas letters to santa in the big red mail box AND they get answered… that alone deserves an extra star.

(cue music)
«I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way…»
(music fades)
A stop-​in-​your-​tracks collection of fantasy children’s clothing.
The sidewalk display showcases the fanciest they’ve got:
Frothy and frilly party dresses;
Dapper suits with short or long pants and bow ties;
Don’t look now (the cute is blinding), but there are shoes to match!
Halloween costumes you would swear came direct from Narnia, Oz or beyond the looking glass.
Inside you’ll find more day-​to-​day wear, all of it more unique than your usual mall offerings, with prices to match.
How fun to pick through the racks and choose a few cute items for the cuties in my life.
Unfortunately, after checking in with Unilocal,I am not sure I have the proper qualifications to shop in such an establishment.
(music swells)
«…show them all the beauty they possess inside…»
(music fades)
In the hopeful shininess of the New Year, I find myself flipping around Unilocal,reading new reviews. I come across some by a woman with whom it seems I have a lot in common.
New Unilocaler. Cool.
While perusing her first reviews, I find her thoughts regarding a local bakery reference a review of mine:
«„P.S. In response to other reviews, just because people are white, well-​dressed, have cell phone, and kids, doesn’t make the goods any less. you sound like a bitter, lonely, child-​hating loser!“»
Yikes!
Okay, she’s new.
I’ll just PM her and ask that she remove that… she doesn’t get «The Unilocal».
A couple of unpleasant exchanges later, she changes «you» to «some reviews».
Now I am really MMAD.
What is it about women from crappy California towns who move to Seattle and get all aggro with me about something I said that has nothing to do with they sorry asses?
It is NEVER about YOU — it is ALWAYS about ME.
Ha-​rumph.
Ahem.
I remain convinced that the unsupervised child ambience of a bakery I patronize weekly is a valid part of a review, while a nasty reference from a noob who has been there once should be removed.
Ah well, opinions are like assholes… Welcome to Unilocal.
(music swells)
«…Give them a sense of pride — to make it easier…»
(music fades)
Except.
Now I’m confused.
Can I shop at the outrageously expensive children’s clothing store in downtown Whitebread Island or not?
Is my status as a white, cell phone-​wielding woman enough to mitigate my lonely, bitter, child hatingness?
Do I have to turn in my Jimmy Choos and Donna Karan dresses to the Tight-​Ass White Lady Guild because I think misbehaving children should be removed from public eateries?
What about the cashmere twin set?
Is there an overpriveleged white lady handbook?
Because if there is — I should have one!
As you can see from my REAL picture, I am a white lady. (Shut up).
I drive a MINI-​VAN fergawdsake!
AND, wait for it…
…it’s a biggie…
…I live on homogenous-​beyond-​my-​wildest-​nightmares Bainbridge Island!
TA-​DA!
Surely that admits me to the club…
I demand to know WHO is The Decider in these matters?
Alright.
It has been established in these pages that I spend 90% of my life running around in Eddie Bauer outlet clothing accessorized by olive oil and grass stains.
I admit that.
As a reformed fashionista, I just can’t be bothered.
I don’t highlight my hair, nor do I wash it daily.
My handbag is decidedly un-​designer.
Clearly, I don’t fit in.
Guess I am found out.
But let me say one thing:
The cell phone?
From my
Cold.
Dead.
Hand,
Bee-​yatch.
(music swells)
«Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.»
(music fades)
I suppose this is just my chatty-​Cathy way of saying:
Chillax, momzilla, how I’m s’posed to know those brats in the bakery are yours?
Five Stars for Free to be You and Me.
(BLAST music)
R-​E-​S-​P-​E-​C-​T.
Find out what it means to me…