McDonald’s

I’ve been at this location for years and this past month it just takes the turn to worst! Order Nuggets meal for my kid and they forgot French fried. We already left so we didn’t turn back. A week later went back order the same thing, they gave us this old fried soft and looked really bad that my kid wouldn’t even eat. We said we weren’t going back there again and today I gave it a chance. I went back for crispy chicken burger and the lettuce they put on my burger looks like a week or two old. Well I guess this is it.

Why does this place exist? Sawdust burgers. Everything has sugar in it. The McNuggets are lips and asses from elderly chicken. McAwful. In Europe they serve wine at McD’s. Now there’s a McHangover I never McWant.

I know. McDonalds is THE WORST. They offer little nutritional value in their food. SO WHAT? As long as you know that you are shaving seconds off your life with each magical mouthful, eat on I say!
I love McDonalds… and I really enjoy a GOOD McDonalds. I’ve had such diverse experiences ordering EVM’s (that’s right, Extra Value Meals) all over this country and in Russia, Mexico, Costa Rica, Hungary, Czech Republic, Germany, France… etc…
~On the Delancey and Essex location in NYC, I asked if they were offering a special I had seen advertised on television… the courteous young gentleman behind the register informed me without emotion, «I donno. I just got out of prison.»
I digress! My point is, you know when you have found a McDonalds that can make a decent sandwich once you take that first glorious bite… and it makes all the difference.
This is that McDonalds.
And now… for your entertainment… I present to you a man that has similar tastes in breakfast food. Read on and enjoy.
Guy 1 (Tucker Max): «Dude – That thing looks disgusting. It has to be nasty, with the syrup sh** in it. What is that?»
Guy2: «I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have not yet partaken the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever stupid cook your McDonalds has rescued that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-​They didn’t add… yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrapped it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them… the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERF***ING SYRUP NUGGET!!! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.»
Guy1: «So you like them?»