Wounded Heart Ministries

Wounded heart ministries
started as a ministry to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse and rape. Since then it has expanded to a full service counseling ministry. I have benefited greatly from their books.
I have read most of Dan Allender’s books and I have been helped by them tremendously. My only caution would be to warn people not to read his books until you are fully prepared and ready to heal. This is a review for his book Bold Love which is the book that helped me the most. The Wounded heart is revolutionary and helpful and healing but it is hard work to read it! Bold Love is a Christian book so no need to read this review if you are offended by Christianity.
There is no other book that has been so powerful and transforming in my life. This is a must read for anyone who counsels others in a Christian context. Much of what is told to Christians in counseling is based more upon the counselors inability to confront their own issues and inability to deal with the brokenness and messiness of the lives of people who come to them from abusive backgrounds. In Christian circles many times there is a lack of education insight and understanding about things like rape, sexual abuse, domestic abuse and the like and it only leads to more damage to the Christian trying to rebuild their life after such a devastating victimization. The book will lead and teach pastors and counselors on how to handle such issues in a biblical, and in a psychologically sound way that brings healing and not condemnation. Condemnation is the result of much of the counseling you get at Evangelical churches due to a lack of understanding and insight that is biblical and also physiologically sound.
The book challenges our thoughts and beliefs of what Love really is. Dr. Allender challenges our misconceptions of what we think love is with the reality of «bold love» which is doing what’s best for the other person. The book challenges the whole «forgive and forget» theology which is not biblical, which leads to more damage and more denial and sometimes to mental illness.
The author presents true and real freedom, true and real love and forgiveness and how it translates to real life. In theory most people would agree that forgiveness is essential but it is the methods and how to of forgiveness that can become destructive. In my opinion many of the pastors I have listened to and or met have certain doctrines that become absolute idols to them and they are unable to really see or think clearly about those doctrines. One of those idols is forgiveness and unforgiveness.
Dan Allender explains what true forgiveness is and it is not the way most pastors talk about it. The way most pastors talk about forgiveness can actually re victimize someone trying to heal. Many pastors from my experience are in denial about their own issues of unforgiveness and the way they talk about forgiveness actually leads you the person they are trying to help into further denial. Jesus said in John 8;32-Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Jesus never said to deny the truth.
Dan Allender manages to show a path of healing that is biblical and also psychologically sound. His take on forgiveness is is that pressured demands to forgive are destructive and can lead to more damage. He teaches that a person will forgive when they are healed and not the other way around which is taught almost across the board. In order for a person to forgive they have to be first willing to admit the damage that was done to them and admit that they are angry and or damaged. He points out how can you forgive if you are not angry if you don’t acknowledge there is anything to forgive?
My own philosophy is that anything in the dark has power over you. Dan Allender teaches you how to bring it into the light of God so that anything in the dark looses it’s power. There is a popular theology among modern day Christians that is almost like what psychologists call «magical thinking». Where God just touches you in some way and all of your problems magically go away! Though God can do anything there are instructions in the bible for those wanting change, The bible says «And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.» (Romans 12:2)
Dan Allender explains how to do that on a practical level. Please read this book if you are a pastor or counselor or a survivor of sexual abuse or come from a highly dysfunctional family or need healing in any way do yourself a favor and read the book. It will change your life!