Kern County Sheriff’s Office

They showed the same Adam Sandler movie on the TV sets all weekend. It was free, but a horrible experience. Loud neighbor– screaming girl yelled obscenities all night. They ushered my friend into a whole different wing after we checked in together. The dining experience was horrible– heavy on the unnatural chemical beverage powder that they have you mix into the lukewarm water that you get from the drinking fountain which sits atop of the toilet tank (which is in the shared space right out in the open. Yuck!) And the squished bologna sandwiches seemed not-​so-​fresh. This place is so overpriced! And then there is the unbearable wet hot climate, which appeals to the population of giant cockroaches that crawl the streets both day & night. Oh, lest I forget our luggage ordeal! I had to run around to 3 different buildings in sweltering heat to a holding area that was always closed on the days when I got there. When I was finally able to get in, I was told that both my & my companion’s bags were all checked in under her name, making them unable to be claimed by me. Being from out of town, it was a problem to return. When the both of us did make it back, her purse was missing from our stuff, as was a bag of mine that contained my iPod, some books from the San Francisco Public Library (which I had to replace at my expense), and my jewelery, which was unique & had sentimental value. Ironically left intact was a ziploc baggie of weed contained in my friend’s belongings. Somehow this got to stay in our stuff without being confiscated with similar items that were seized. WTF? This place, and the town itself is best avoided as a rest stop, let alone a travel destination.

I found the Central Receiving Facility generally pretty unpleasant. My primary issues were the staff, fellow patrons, activities, and décor. Of the places I’ve stayed in Bakersfield, this one was probably my least favorite.
The staff are a mixed bag, generally ranging from newly hired and predominately civil to crazy-​bitter and following you around accusing you of being a terrorist. While generally pretty bossy, a few were very nice and helpful. On the whole though, the indifferent and non-​customer service orientated treatment by the staff was a major detriment to the overall experience. Because of this alone, I wouldn’t come back.
The fellow patrons seem to primarily consist of sketchy people who repeatedly ask me why I was there. I did have the 4 hour opportunity to discuss with a 20something year old, extremely agitated man how a tequila fueled night of blacked out TV smashing was responsible for his invitation to relax and unwind here, and to emphasize this he ended each part of his story with «Man, fuck tequila.» I also got to see a guy scream and try to punch a nurse, so all in all I don’t recommend hanging out with the other patrons if you can avoid it, as their general interests seem to revolve around being insane.
Activities are generally limited and include taking off your shoes, putting them back on, and then walking to and from different rooms. There is one fun part very much like a gameshow, where they isolate you in a metal box and a woman asks you questions, but unfortunately your prize is you have to give them a lot of money to leave. I give this game a poor score as it was anticlimactic and would make a terrible gameshow. Outside of that, I enjoyed calling people on an unpredictable, prepaid phone system and shuffling back and fourth between rooms that were pretty much identical to each other. Occasionally you get to play a kind of speed-​dating like game where you are left alone in a room with a person at random for a few hours, but my partners were a fat mexican kid and a crazy hung over tweaker, who either fell asleep immediately or warned me of the dangers of blacking out on tequila for four hours straight. Another fun part of that game is falling asleep wondering if you’ll wake up with that person trying to strangle you. There is plenty of leisure time though, so relaxing is not a problem.
The décor has obviously not been updated in a long time. In fact, I don’t think it was put there in the first place, as the building is just about 100% concrete and steel. The benches are low, cold, and made out of steel, there are drains everywhere (so don’t worry about throwing up if someone punches you in the stomach, they thought of that) and everything is covered with a sticky, latex paint that is extremely easy to scratch gang graffiti into. Previous tenants have made sincere attempts to improve the decoration or liven the place up a bit, or even give some helpful advice, as evidenced by the huge «OMAR BLOWS COCKS» carved into the paint of one of the doors. Others have made some creatives attempts at privacy, having discovered that american cheese can be smeared all over a window to make it opaque, as well as disgusting. It’s little improvements like this that really make the place personable, but on the whole I would describe the ambiance as cold, hard, depressing, and fairly gross.
Maybe I just had a bad experience, but I wouldn’t recommend the Central Receiving Facility if you’re headed through Bakersfield. While the partons were fairly similar, I had better luck at the Ramada, Extended Stay, and even a few of the seedier hotels around the area. I would recommend the Central Processing Facility before staying at the E-​Z 8 motel though.
I’ll be avoiding this place from now on.