Mount Royal Tavern

Totally a fan! Awesomely priced drinks, lovely décor and a mixed crowd. We visited this bar twice during our weekend stay in Baltimore. No food is sold here though, only snacks like potato chips so eat before you come.

If you love dive bars, then this is going to be your new favorite! You have the typical dark, dirty bar with extra strong drinks and an ATM that sometimes does not give you all of your money. Bartenders are great! Jukebox has decent enough music and prices are LOW! You will not be lonely with the multitude of eccentric folks that frequent this joint. Don’t plan on any foo foo drinks at this dive as they do not have any flavored vodkas or energy drinks. Definitely a place to hit up for a cheap night of strong drinks!

It feels like a crime against decency to call this place simply a dive bar. There’s a replica painting of the Sistine Chapel, for Christ’s sakes. When smoking was banned indoors, the ambiance of Mount Royal Tavern took a hit (and I’m pretty sure film of the cigarette smoke is still holding some of the walls up).
As others have mentioned, the diversity of the crowd is second to none. You’ll say hi to the guy with dreadlocks you saw panhandling cars on the road a few blocks away next to a local arts student pregaming for a party (see below re: liquor pours) next to a few locals who haven’t moved since 2pm. People were nice overall.
If that doesn’t get a visit out of you, I’ll try one more thing — the liquor pours are three times bigger than any other drive — at the same price.

In terms of people-​watching: 5 stars (As good as it gets)
In terms of prices: 4 stars (I’m a fan)
In terms of bartenders and service: 3 stars (A-​OK)
In terms of cleanliness: 2 stars (Meh, I’ve experienced better)
–no 1 stars here–
In terms of overall: 3 stars. It’s a hole in the wall, eclectically styled, friendly neighborhood joint with $ 2.45 Natty Bohs. I’ll take it.

I’ve been in some cheap bars before but this by far has got to be thee cheapest damn bar I’ve ever been to, I love that I was able to get 4 drinks with $ 20 and still had change left over. don’t expect any food, but do expect pretty good strong drinks. By the way bring cash, if not don’t worry theirs a ATM machine in the corner

Looking for a laid back atmosphere with a divey feel?
Don’t fret Mount Royal Tavern has you covered.
I found myself here on a recent cold sunday evening with a few friends.
It was cold outside but, warm inside.
They had a delicious apple pie moonshine-​esque drink.
It warmed my bones and aided me with my further walk home.
Not the place for you if you wish to dress up and cruise the scene but, totally your place if you want a strong drink and interesting surroundings.

Known by all the locals as «The Dirt Church» because of the Sistine Chapel wall paper that adorns its ceiling, Mount Royal Tavern is a quintessential stop on your tour of Balmore’s dive bar scene. It’s interior is dark and dingy, with dim lighting and a rotating gallery of original MICA (Maryland Institute College of Art) artworks dangling from time darkened, lacquered, exposed brick walls.
Mount Royal Tavern, like a handful of Baltimore’s other dive bars, has been the location of drinking establishments since 1934. Prior to that it was said to even function as a speakeasy during the dry spell of prohibition. Now days, it offers 10 taps of beer and simple bar snacks, but no one comes here for fine dining anyway. Just remember that at the Dirt Church, the collection plate only accepts cash, but there’s an ATM. So make sure you have more than just credit cards in your wallet before you slide up to the the bar and order a drink.
Visiting celebrities of all calibers from Johnny Depp to Mike Rowe have been spotted here tuning into the jukebox and tuning out from the world. But most of the time the crowd here consists of older neighborhood locals, MICA students on a drinking budget, and Charm City dive bar aficionados who just want the opposite of trendy.
The Dirt Church, bathed in its red neon night time glow, is an anti-hero’s dank, dark, and dirty fortress of solitude, where one can quietly contemplate their protagonistic amalgamations of good and evil over a shot of Pikesville Rye on the cheap… If Batman had a favorite local dive bar in Baltimore, this would be it.

Cool, divey, hole in the wall bar. The drinks were made strong and were pretty cheap. And you can get pitchers of beer, which is nice. My only problem were the bartenders. When my two friends and I sat down at the bar we had to wait 5 minutes to even be greeted because the two bartenders (a younger brunette and an old dead head looking man) were too busy talking to each other/​joking with what looked like the bar regulars. When we were finally greeted by the old guy he just said «what do you want?» and hurriedly poured our drinks. He was only a little bit friendly after I gave him a $ 10 tip on a $ 15 tab (I’m also a bartender). The patrons were all really nice and personable though, which is always a plus. All in all, I probably wouldn’t frequent this place but I would definitely come again for the divey atmosphere and strong drinks.

How does one review Mount Royal Tavern?
WHAT does one review?
Is there a rating system that even exists that could adequately grade the entirety of this place? I gave it 5 stars, but only because Unilocal doesn’t seem to want to allow me to leave that space blank, which is really what Mount Royal Tavern will leave you feeling when you leave.
Blank. Not in a cleansed hot yoga, «Hey, I’ve been to a Buddhist retreat and found nirvana» sort of way. No. It’s more like an E.M. Forster A PASSAGE TO INDIA, «Hey I looked into the abyss of life and feel it’s all fruitless and what’s about to follow just shows how all humans are shallow creatures» sort of blankness.
Yeah…
Anyway, there is no adequate way to review the drinks (booze, booze, and more booze abounds here). They’re fine. Affordable Generously poured. That’s cool, but they’re really just a way of unlocking your inhibitions of staying in this sketchy little Wonderville of Humanity.
The décor has gotten better over the years. I think they renovated a while back. Still, it’s sometimes too dim in here to notice. Frankly, they could have painted the walls electric neon pink and I wouldn’t have seen any difference.
The way Mount Royal Tavern etched its way into my brain was as the place where I found out that some of my friends used cocaine on a fairly regular basis during the mid ‘00s. I’ll refrain from using names, so I can tell you my friend «The Greek» was here to meet with a guy. «The Guy» approached us, walking with a noticeably painful limp, and an equally noticeable neck brace. However, it was the fact that we could SMELL The Guy before we saw him that was amazing. The fact that we could smell him above the piss smell emanating from the men’s room, which occasionally manages to drift over the inner sanctum of the Tavern, was even more amazing.
Amazement abounded.
The Greek and The Guy exchanged a few words and then spoke some magical indecipherable phrases that seemed to mean, «Follow me out the back, here.» They disappeared and I commented to another friend that The Guy looked sketchy. My friend said, «Ah, he’s not so bad. He was just running away from some cops, threw himself off a bridge to escape from them, and got hurt in the process. I think he’s out on bail, or probation, or something.» He and everyone else in our group seemed to know him… and were ok with all of this information.
I suddenly felt like Mrs. Moore in the Marabar Caves. The claustrophobia, the darkness, the smell… I looked into my own abyss and saw that… I was a square. The horror.
The Greek and The Guy came back with happy looks on their faces, and seemed to have exchanged misshapen lumps in their pockets. I was staring blankly at the ground. The Greek told me to relax.
We stuck around for a while and everyone got drunk, sometimes taking turns to go in the back with The Greek. I stared at the walls contemplating the meaning of life and why I had watched all of those anti-​drug PSAs on TV as a kid. Kirk Cameron came to mind from «A Very Special Episode of GROWING PAINS.» Was this a special episode? No, it was life.
«This is unbearable,» I thought, «How unhappy I am!’ and then I became happier. My shock and terror were my prison and my release.
I decided to have another drink and just slip into Mount Royal Tavern’s life that night. I’ve slipped into it since then, but not in the same way as that first time. Things have changed. The Tavern got cleaned up. My friends all got married, and some have kids. I try to be kinder to myself, and excuse my mistakes, realize my limitations and such. Life is not easy as we know it on the earth… but it is easier in the Tavern… if one knows how to look into its abyss and then into one’s own self without judgment.

Want you a serious gritty dive where you can come and enjoy a good beer in a great atmosphere? This is the spot. Realize there’s dives which are a pool of the worlds nastiest people and the spawn of the underworld and then there’s an actual dive which is an establishment with history and doesn’t give a fuck about what a «trendy/​cool» bar offers and just has a character which wins you over on the first visit. That’s what this place is a gem in the heart and soul of Baltimore.

Came here when I had time to kill before meeting a friend. I liked how dark and divey it appeared. I pulled up a stool at the bar and asked for a gin and tonic. The bartender replied «Large or small?» This is the first time I was ever asked this at a bar. The large was $ 4.50 so why not? Had a lovely conversation with a complete stranger. Ordered a small G&T which was made with ¾ gin and ¼ tonic. I was a happy drunk for under $ 15. This place is fun!

This is the diviest dive bar I have EVER frequented and I LOVED every minute of it. Eccentric clientele for sure — and leave it at that! I felt I got a true slice of Baltimore here.

Came here after Artscape Bmore and it was a great chill spot. Back patio was like chilling at your own backyard gathering. People were friendly and happy and all was good. Only had some beer so cant really speak on anything else, but the environment was pretty chill-​but then again it usually is right after Artscape. Cannot really speak on an ordinary day here-​someone in the bar definitely stole my wallet out of my purse while it was on my shoulder though so beware the bmore bar heads here. Zip your purse up before going through the crowd.

Can’t beat the prices and great selection, strong drinks as well! cash only is a bit of a pain and no real close atm machines. So make sure you bring cash with you, good crowd and usually lots of local art on display.

You have 2 choices…$ 6 glass or $ 4 glass. Either way… you’ll be walking out slanted (YES…slanted). I’m from Baltimore, born & raised in the heart of the city and this is definitely the spot you would want to be if you ever want to get a feel as to what Baltimore is.
The bartenders are mad scientists when mixing drinks and you can’t go wrong with the beer selection especially the pitcher of whatever they are offering that night.

Unilocal keeps bugging me to review this place because I uploaded a photo. If I lived in B’more I’d be here at least twice a week. Weird characters, John Waters vibe, great (weird) art on the wall, great (weird) customers. Cheap beer… what more could you ask for?

If you love dive bars, this may be your Mecca. Strong drinks, odd local art décor (it’s walking distance to MICA — and don’t miss the Cistene Chapel ceiling recreated on this ceiling!), and a collection of locals that make the Cantina in Star Wars look the a Christian Science Reading Room await! (Okay, it’s not crazy like that, but it IS a colorful group). This is a spot for the professional drinker — if you and the family are looking for a quick beer or soda, this is probably not the best place for you. However, if you really want to get to know what the city of Baltimore is all about, this is it. After two (quite) strong cocktails last Saturday I found myself in a deep debate about the direction of the Dutch national soccer team with the gentleman sitting next to me. Still not sure how we got on the subject, but it was a great time.
This is one of the cornerstones of the Baltimore bar scene. Just remember to play nice and tip well!

Let me tell you about this amazing bar. I see that some people don’t like it. Why. How. Cause it’s dirty? Get over yourselves. I’ve seen worse. This bar has personality. Everyone comes here. There is no single word that can describe how beautiful this bar is. I came here with my man and his 69 year old father, who used to drink here when he went to MICA. According to him, it hasn’t changed a bit. And I believe him. Like Baltimore herself this place is diverse, rough, yet sweet all at the same time. Bless this bar, I think I’m in love.

This is clearly the best bar in Baltimore.
I’ve never seen anyplace with such a diverse crowd: Young, old, black, white, students, professors, blue collar, white collar, you name it… and such an assortment all gathered in one place. The crowd varies by time of day and day of the week, so it’s good to stop by at various times to get a true picture of the place.
The prices are cheap, and the drinks are strong. You get the feeling that nobody’s trying too hard to impress anyone: from hipsters to bums, artists to DC commuters, you see it all here, and nobody much seems to care what you’re wearing, or what you look like. I’ve had amazing conversations here with total strangers; some, recalling the days when Baltimore was still segregated from people who lived through it, to talking about foreign films and Nietzsche, to comic books and Bugs Bunny. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve kissed my sanity good-​bye.
Yes, it’s a bit grungy, but that’s part of the charm. Sure, the bartenders might seem a bit gruff, but their bark is worse than their bite, and they’re some of the nicest people you’ll meet in Baltimore. This is a place to go and have a few or a lot of drinks, to let loose. There’s an infectious atmosphere, here, that makes it easy to relax, and an aura of history that is as numinous as it is cozy. Set all pretense aside, the place is nothing fancy, but they sure do satisfy.
And they only take cash. Brilliant.

Do you want a drink? A strong drink? Then come here. Don’t expect anyone to put up with any shit though, even the workers. Maybe somebody is asleep at the bar, mind your business. I orderd a drink there once and i could barely taste the mix, and it came in a pint glass, i mentioned it aloud and the bartender quickly said, «you want ginger ale, or you want whiskey?» He was right. They leave the grateful dead on the jukebox for profiling purposes, or they used to, try and play it, go ahead. Any how the crowd is the art school drop out type, and some other types. Don’t be surprised if you hear talk that spans a great range of social classes, as many are attracted to an almost pirate mentality.
jm