Autoclean Carwash

I really like this place. Everyone is nice, the car wash is quick and easy, moderately priced and if you ask them to clean something specific they will have no problem doing it. It’s not the best car wash I’ve ever had, but I’ll continue to go back.

Really an embarrassing business. The machine they use is awful. The car basically came out dirty outside. The rain stains on the window are all still there. I feel like if they hosed the car down, it would have been more effective. On the inside, the car got a light vacuum but no crevasses were cleaned (cup, change holders were not touched). he backseat wasn’t wiped down, it’s still full of dust. They must have quickly vacuumed it to check a box. When I pointed at these things to the guy that was drying the car, he wiped a couple of spots and then just walked away. It’s hard to get angry at someone making a few bucks an hour for something as frivolous as cleaning a car, but the management really need to care about these things if they want customers to come back. This customer will not. The unfortunate part is that there aren’t many places in the green point and Williamsburg areas, so I’ll have to dry further out to avoid this place, but I recommend others do the same. You’re basically paying 15 bucks for nothing.

I’d like to begin this review by stating that my approach to Unilocal!‘ing is based on the idea that I will only post reviews for businesses deserving 5 star ratings. Though the logic of my assessment is not always aligned with typical criteria, I do my best to seek the good in all of the establishments that I patronize.
However, when leaving Autoclean Carwash this afternoon, I found myself at a loss for recognizing those positive attributes. Thus I decided to confront the situation through a series of tawdry riddles, which I will present here, my good reader, for your contemplation and amusement. I hope you’ll enjoy:
Q: What’s blue and wet, just stood in a line stretching onto McGuiness Boulevard for 20 minutes, and still has bird shit all over the driver’s side door?
A: My Subaru Impreza Wagon.
Q: What has about 4 vacuums, sucks in every way imaginable, but remains incapable of removing a bit of sand from the floor mats of a Subaru Impreza Wagon?
A: Autoclean Carwash
Q: How many Autoclean Carwash employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I don’t know, but hopefully they’re better at screwing in light bulbs than they are at washing Subaru Impreza Wagons.
Q: What’s the difference between the Subaru Impreza Wagon that I was driving this morning and the Subaru Impreza Wagon I’m driving this afternoon?
A: I had 15 bucks in the Subaru Impreza Wagon that I drove this morning.
Q: How can you tell if your wife’s been unfaithful?
A: Get a bird to shit on the driver’s side door of your Subaru Impreza Wagon, then ask her to take it to the car wash. If she says she went to Autoclean Carwash and the bird shit is gone, you know she’s lying.
Q: How do you hide stray bits of dirt from the guys down at Autoclean Carwash?
A: Just leave it in that little groove under the rooftop rack of your Subaru Impreza Wagon. They’ll never even see it!
Q: What’s wet in the morning, dry in the afternoon, impenetrable to a gauntlet of hoses and chamois cloths, yet easily wiped away with some Windex and a paper towel?
A: The bird shit that was on the driver’s side door of my Subaru Impreza Wagon.
Q: What’s the difference between a cheap hooker and Autoclean Carwash?
A: When the hooker takes your 15 bucks and tells you to drive your car into a dark passage she might accomplish something in there.
You can go ahead and enjoy your 5 stars Autoclean Carwash. I had hoped my 15 bucks would buy me a bird-​shit-​free Subaru; instead it bought me some good laughs. And in the broader scope of life, happiness, enlightenment, and so on, those laughs are far more valuable than the multiple coats of wax that I do not believe were applied to my Subaru Impreza Wagon. So I guess its a fair deal after all.

If you need a quick wash this is the place to go. Sometimes the lines of control. Other only place it goes in the Astoria

This is the second time that I bring my car here and comes out with a ding in almost the same spot as the first one: top left of the hood. Now I read other reviews that say that their driver door was all scratched. I guess because my car is smaller then that’s why it didn’t happen in the same area but pretty close. My guess is that their machine is super old and rough with the car. I feel bad for the workers they seem exhausted and underpaid. I always left a tip for them but there is no way I’m taking my car there unless they upgrade their machines or fix the ding that their machine made in my car for a second time! Minus one star!

Definitely one of the worst car washes out there. Unfortunately this seems to be the norm in New York for a $ 12 car wash. Barely comes out clean. Things they say they will do never get done. Don’t bother upgrading for any of the packages. You get the same wash at every price level.
The car came out nearly as fast as I payed. Gives you an idea of how poor a job they do with attention to detail.
If you just need to get the dirt off and have it run through a machine then I guess this is your dream. Otherwise stay far away from this as possible. Go to a real car wash and pay $ 30 and get it done right.

these guys treat every car the same way. dont bother trying to pay more to get a better service. they don’t care and the management is non — existent .
they also use these hard brushes to pre clean the wheels before going in and they hit the wheels leaving little scratches on the the wheels if you have nice ones.
if you already have a scratched car with messed up wheels and dont really care if the car is clean, use these guys.

If you want the outside of your car clean-​ish, this place will suffice. If you want anything beyond that, especially the inside of your car, listen to the reviews and do not go here. I paid $ 12 for the «deluxe wash» which supposedly includes a deeper cleaning of the interior and waxing. I got the exact same thing the people paying $ 10 got, which was a run through the automatic washer and a quick vaccuming of the removable rugs. Once I realized this, I went inside to complain. I barely had to say anything before the girl gave me a refund — they know exactly what they are doing. It’s a scam.

I’m not sure, but this really seems to be the worst car wash in Brooklyn. They call it done but the rims haven’t been cleaned, the vacuum job is a joke, the seats haven’t been wiped, and I paid $ 20. They had to run it back through because I told them it wasn’t cleaned at all! Even the outside had massive dirt spots that just needed to be rubbed, but they didn’t do it. I just don’t get it…

103 engret ave greenpoint brooklyn. Worst car wash in Brooklyn! !! The guy handing the receipts curses and he even pushed me out of my car and made racists remarks. FYI I am a female 110 lbs 5″ and this man put his hand on me. i even called the manager who didn’t seem to care much. I could have called the police but I am not going to because I had to get back to work. I can’t even tell my dad n my brothers because they’ll not take it lightly. Never going back to this car wash ever.

Disappointed everytime. Basically paying $ 12 + bucks to get your car wipe and barrly wiped down. Interior clean/​dust non existent. These guys don’t care at all.

Greenpoint Car Wash saved our car. The parking lot where we store our car in Chinatown must have left all of our windows down in the rain, because when we picked up the car it smelled like somebody or something had died in there. The mildew was disgusting. We took it to be detailed at Greenpoint Car Wash and voila! Our 14 year old car is new again! It smells great — there is no trace of the mildew whatsoever. The manager and staff were all very friendly and helpful. We are so grateful.

I’m honestly VERY surprised they’re still in business… I promise you the rain will do a better job cleaning your car then these lazy bums… VERY VERY disappointing

I just got my car mini washed and when I got back to my apt in the light I noticed small scratches on my driver side from the brushes. I didn’t notice it before bc there is no lighting right outside the wash and I didn’t see them in the dark. Becareful! Not worth ruining you paint job for a cheap wash. It’s my first car. Learning the hard way:(

It’s cheap and it’s fast. I spent $ 14 to get my car washed/​waxed and vacuumed! I was in and out in less than 15 min. No scratches.

Not hand wash. They do a quick interior vaccum and clean before running it through the machines and brushes for your car (always a plus to be able to watch your car go through). Then outside for a quick towel dry. Your usual fair.
$ 11 for the full service, $ 12 for the deluxe (includes wax).
In and out in less than 10 minutes.