Canteen Vending Services

They come in promising the world to you and to your employees…
Don’t believe it. Their bean counters decide what products you get, not you.
Their machines are old and constantly malfunction. They’ve fired so many employees (repair guys and route drivers) that now they don’t show up in a timely manner to fix what’s wrong. The route guys are in such a hurry that they don’t push shelves in, they don’t stack the correct drinks in the correct lines so you get the wrong drink from what you wanted and they absolutely never, ever clean or wipe down any of the machines so they’re dusty and gross.
Canteen knows no other vending people out there do any better, so they have no reason to step up their game… it’s unfortunate. Just know what you’re getting into before you sign that contract, and put their service number on speed dial… you’re going to need it.

Coffee is a perk where I work.
I don’t know who stocks the coffee. I don’t know where the company buys the coffee. But the signs say «Canteen Office Coffee Services.» I’m sure the purchasing agents know. I’m sure the admins know. To me it’s just Canteen.
You recognize the label. It’s on vending machines everywhere. In the student unions. In the office break rooms. In the company cafeteria competing with the restaurant vendor. Even in train stations.
I love me some chocolate coffee. Mix a pack of Nestle chocolate and a cup of Superior French Roast, and I have my own mocha java. It takes me right back to my school days, when it was the greatest discovery of my life. I paid for mocha java in the little brick-​walled coffee shops off campus and sipped it while listening to some of the greatest unrecognized acoustic guitarists in history. Today I am teaching the Indian contractors to drink it, too. I give them a little American history, a little American pride. I tell them that chocolate, potatoes, and maize all originated in America. Dutifully they mix this strange concoction and pretend to like it.
Sometimes I’ll drink four cups of coffee in one day. That’s over a $ 12 value at Starbucks. Sometimes I’ll make four pots and never remember to get a cup before the horde of coffee drinkers drinks the pot dry without making another one. Some days, rarely, I won’t drink coffee at all, but it’s nice to know this perk is just around the corner from my cubicle.
Canteen stocks two coffees, 18 Bigelow teas, Lipton tea, creamer, sugar, all the non-​sugar sweeteners, and Nestle sugared and sugar-​free chocolate in my break room. There are 18 floors in this building, with a break room on every one of them. I look out the window and see 22 office buildings, and this is just a small corner of SOMA.
Someone is making a lot of money.
— — — — —
Update 9÷13÷07:
Minus one star for their Vegas-​style vending machines. I just put $ 2 into one and got … nothing.