Million’s Cafe

Always have a good time when I come! I usually only come when my homie Dj Diamond is there but every time I come I have a blast! The people here are so funny when they’re drunk!

I’ve been to millions a hand full of times. The drinks are a fine price, it’s nice that they have a pool table. The help is honestly not bad. I’m sure the place does good business as it can be very crowded. It’s a college bar, if you like college bars this is the place for you. If you do not, run the other way.

I’m reviewing this as a late night bar spot rather than a restaurant. To be fair, I didn’t even realize that they served food. This is one of 4 or 5 choices at 1am in Mt. Lookout Sq. I’ve been to the others.
The Stand is your standard overpriced 4EG offering. MLT’s crowd is so young it makes me jones for Centrum Silver. Transitions is decent and dirt cheap as long as you don’t mind the size limitations. Million’s has actually emerged from the pack IMO. They have the requisite number of bar games to turn themselves into a sort of adult playground… pool table, two dartboards, and a foosball table (never see those anymore). They even have a stage and bands every now and then.
The drink prices fit squarely in the middle between The Stand’s NYC prices and Transition’s UDF prices. The crowd demographic is all over the place. I’ve bypassed this bar numerous times when I walked up to a college party atmosphere and expected to see a keg stand contest on the curb. At this point in my life, I prefer this place when the crowd consists of bill paying adults rather than kids paying for their drinks with couch change. All in all, Million’s is not a bad late night option for fellow Mt. Lookout’ers.

Meh. There is a fine selection of beer at reasonable prices. The live music was fine. I did not like how they allowed people to smoke right by the doorway and then refused to close the door. It was fine, but probably wouldn’t suggest the place to others.

Ended up here with a few friends one night after several other places in Mt Lookout were packed. Million’s seems to be a neighborhood dive bar that skews a bit young in terms of customers. They have several local beers on tap, lots of good bottles in their cooler, and okay bar food. It wasn’t super slammed when we were there, but I think we also left before the younger (and boozier?) crowds arrived.

Run of the mill dive bar — they do serve food, which actually comes from the kitchen across the street at MLT. We came in on a cold Sunday — and it was pretty dead. Nice bartender. I’d skip the burger I ordered next time tho.

Million’s was fine. We were waiting for a table at Wurst Bar and decided to grab a drink (ended up being two) at Million’s. The bartender was nice and the drinks were strong. The crowd was sparse at 7:30pm on a Friday but it appeared like a band was setting up so I’m guessing the crowd gets larger (and more lively) as the night wears on. I’d certainly have a drink there again.

Ordered a burger medium, came out well done plus. I wasn’t all that hungry so didn’t send it back, but the waitress wasn’t curious about why I’d left ²⁄₃ of my meal. I may give it one more chance, but I suspect there’s a reason Zip’s was packed and Millions nearly empty at 1:30 on a Saturday afternoon.

There’s something about girls in tube tanks they are passing as dresses that just doesn’t work for me. Beer is dirt cheap. But this place feels like you are going to get ruphied by a frat guy when as soon as you walk in.
This place is not for me, but I know so many people that say this is THE place to go and I just don’t get it. There are so many other great places in Cincinnati. Walk across the street and see what you can find!

So torn about this review, since dive bars are usually my thing. However, there’s just something about Million’s that rubs me the wrong way.
The last time we were there, it was a Wednesday night for karaōke and our large group owned the floor … mostly because no one else wanted to do karaōke until way later in the night. So for that first hour or so, it was just our group passing the microphone back and forth. Liked that.
Million’s is dark. Dark, dark. Like, not mood-​lit dark, just dark. There’s a bar with a bunch of seats as you walk in and then the dance floor/​stage area to your right. I like the little weird touches, like the leather booth right near the window on the dance floor that you can sit in if your legs get tired. You know, from all that dive bar dancing.
They had two bartenders the night I was there. One who was attentive and awesome and the other who I never could signal down the entire night, he just kept walking right by me. It took a friend who was a regular for him to actually stop and me to order a drink. Hmmmm.
However, woah drink prices! Well drinks are $ 2.00 and domestics, $ 1.50. Do you know how many Miller High Lifes I did at that price? So many Miller High Lifes (Don’t go looking for a selection of craft beers. Dive bar, dive beers.)
It also just feels a little gross. The bar feels gross, the bathroom is gross (and usually missing a light or two), it’s just all bad. And not gross in that fun kind of way like, «Yeah, man this place is horrible and I love it.» But just kind of, you walk out and want to take a shower.
Also, parking can be a nightmare, especially if it’s a popular night. Good luck, traveler!
Overall, this is not my favorite dive bar in the city, but if you are looking for some semi-​private karaōke or really, really cheap drinks, this is your spot.

MLT’s sister bar as everyone knows that bars are females (especially Mount Lookout bars since there are always a ton of dudes in them).
They used to have stripper pole on the stage that girls would dance on once they were drunk enough. They are no longer there which is both a good and bad thing. Good because many of times the girls dancing on those poles should not be dancing on poles. Bad in that sometimes the girls dancing on the poles should be dancing on poles (no pun intended).
DJ is typically spinning and best drink prices in the square.
Whenever you pay $ 5 for cover to go to MLT’s typically Millions is included, Two bars one cover though as previously mentioned Mount Lookout bars should never have a cover in my humble opinion.

first of all, this is a DIVE bar. you want cosmotinis and plush chairs, go around the corner. So this is a good place for a cheap drink. Plenty of room to grab some space with your crew. So, come drink your troubles away, but not your bank account.

A dive bar like this is one in a Million!
A group of us came for karaōke Wednesdays. The bar itself was empty; a few stragglers at the counter and absolutely no queue for singing. With a few high top tables and a lounge sofa, my friends took over the dance floor area. Konnann Karaōke was spinning, which easily has the biggest music selection in Cincinnati. Three-​inch binders were filled to the brim with listings, including any and every Broadway song my heart could desire. We were there for about three hours and I sang over a dozen songs. Brilliant!
In between songs, Nathan the DJ spun some hits (full songs, not interludes) so our group got to show off our dance moves. It was a lot of fun to have the whole dance floor to ourselves and get our groove on. While singing, Million’s has a stage, so we crooned our numbers from a-​high.
Drinks specials were extraordinary! Well drinks are $ 2.00 and beers are $ 1.50. I ordered a mixed drink which came out in a pint glass half filled with vodka. The craft beer selection is minimal, but they do have Yuengling and Yuengling Light on tap.
For a dive bar, I need to note that I was stunned by the cleanliness and style of Million’s bathrooms. Bright, posh tiled walls, clean spacious stalls and toilets; I never would have guessed this from the casual interior of the bar.
If you’re looking for a low key, fun night out with your friends, check out Millions!

I don’t think I’ve ever left that place sober (this is true of far too many places).
Overall not a bad place — it always feels a little dirty in there, but the drink prices are great — I never have a tab over $ 20, even though I can barely read it.
At one of my most recent experiences there, they had two bartenders. One was a sweetheart and smiled a lot, the other seemed more interested in her phone or the regulars and didn’t seem to care for me (not that I’m anything special, but come on).
I’ve only ever been there for karaōke since my friend is the DJ — now that he doesn’t do it anymore, I’m not sure that I’ll go back.

MLT’s evil twin brother!
(or good twin brother depending on your perspective).
Just across the street from MLT is that other bar you go to when MLT is totally packed or charging a cover. I believe the two are in cahoots with one another, sharing employees and a cover paid at MLT can be applied to Millions.
Fantastic place for a karaōke night. Decent stage, plenty of room to dance. I’ve only been accosted by people in my own party. All those things are a plus, but best of all, drinks are dirt cheap. I imbibed in some two dollar wells and buck-​fifty domestic bottles just last night. You can’t go wrong with that!
You can go wrong in the cave they pass off as a men’s bathroom. Usually at least one light, if not both, isn’t functioning. You actually get more light in the bathroom from the hole in the wall that leads to the kitchen than you do from the actual lighting fixture (s) that exist in the bathroom. I never wash my hands when I’m here for fear that they would get dirtier.

There are lots of bar options in this area, and most are fairly carbon copy clones of each other. Million’s is a bar that I actually like and while I can agree with some of the points ya’ll haters make about the place, I would point out that often it’s just a bad night and you should give it a second chance. I’ve primarily gone during the week, so maybe on the weekend things are different. The bartenders have often gone out of the way to order food from across the street and get it for me. That’s nice and above and beyond the kind of service I get at pretty much every bar in the city. (Don’t they know I’m a Unilocaler??? ha ha)
If the drink prices were any cheaper, they’d be paying YOU to drink. The mixed drinks can be deceptively stiff, so occasionally give yourself a break and get a water. The dance floor area is large enough but is raised so be careful when stepping down to get to the bar, especially you high heeled ladies. Parking in the area can be a challenge, especially the later it gets, so try to get to the area and get a sweet spot. A good start to the evening might include dinner at Pera Mediterranean (which is BYO!) or Cloud 9 Sushi. Enjoy.

It makes me so sad to see so many negative reviews about this place because it is my FAVORITE dive bar! Now, I can only speak about how it is on a Wednesday because it is the only night I have ever been there…
I go on Wednesday for karaōke night which is currently from 10 – 2, but rumor is that it is moving to 9 – 1. The DJs have an amazing book and the place is never so busy that you have to wait too long to sing.
I also love their specials. Can you beat $ 1.50 beers and $ 2 wells??? My husband and I can have a very entertaining evening on less than $ 20. It is pretty much the same bartenders each week and they are amazing. The pour a nice strong drink and serve it quickly with a smile.
Yes, this bar is a dive! But that is what you need some nights. I love that I could walk in straight from a baseball game in athletic gear and not look out of place. Also, I would be equally accepted if I walked in wearing a cute dress. Anything goes. Unlike some dive bars, this one is immaculately clean, including the recently renovated bathrooms.
Until 10pm, you can order food from MLTs and they will deliver it (no charge). I love the buffalo chicken salad!
Parking can be a bit of an issue… You may have to park down the street and walk a bit.
I know this place can be crazy on weekends and I probably wouldn’t enjoy it then either, but definitely try it out during the week.

I really feel like I could copy and paste my review of Mt Lookout Tavern here and call it a day. Actually, I think I’ll do just that.
(Just sub bad cover band for bad DJ and that should do the trick)
I go to this place once every six years or so. no matter how much time passes, it’s still a lame bar.
I can’t figure out their demographic but I think I’ve narrowed it down to blondes with fake IDs, guys who own lots of visors and some folks trying desperately to hold on to their youth.
The beer selection is lame, unless you like Bud Light. The mixed drinks are watered down. They always have cover bands, which I usually don’t mind, except when the band sucks and the sound system is terrible.
This is a quote from an actual MLT charmer, ‘I just became single, can I buy you a beer?’. So, if you like that sort of pickup line, this place is for you. I promise I won’t be taking up space there.

Years ago Million’s was a neighborhood watering hole that was low key and homey feeling. Nowadays, gone is the neighborhood bar feel, replaced by mirrored walls, stainless steel and a DJ that is usually too loud. It’s home to mostly «just-​turned-​21» drunks on the weekends making fools of themselves. If you’re past the drink until you fall over stage, this bar is not for you.
On a good note though, the 1.50 domestics are a good deal.
All in all, not really my scene.

Mt. Lookout fixture, Million’s, can be a lot of fun… or completely obnoxious… depending on the crowd. The bar books some great local acts (e.g. wunderkind Paul Otten), but sometimes I feel like the overly intoxicated crowd is under-​appreciative.
My biggest complaint is the miniscule ladies’ room. For a bar this size (three decent sized rooms), there are only one, maybe two, stalls. This is a serious point of contention, when I have to spend a third of my night waiting in line for the loo.
I’d go back to Million’s to see the right show. I’ll just make sure not to drink too much.