Adoption by Gentle Care

The most wonderful experience of my life. These folks we’re awesome. They were with me every step of the way. Any questions I had at any time of the day or night was answered.

We are adoptive parents who reside in California. Four and half years ago, we were introduced to Adoption by Gentle Care (AGC), through a family friend. We had interviewed with several agencies in California, and after each and every interview, my husband and I felt deflated. It seemed like our hopes of becoming parents were never going to come true. The first time I spoke with John Cameron, the director of AGC at the time, my heart felt hopeful for the first time. The entire staff at AGC were helpful in answering our questions and guiding us though the entire process. Our case worker, Trina Saunders, who is now the director, was amazing at communicating what could and could not happen throughout the process. All fees were clearly communicated to us in addition to why those fees were collected and where they would be used.
In September 2009, we received the phone call that would forever change our lives when we were told we were going to be the parents to a healthy boy. The day we met our son is one we will never forget. We met with the birth mom, my son’s birth sister, John and Trina for quite some time. As our meeting came to an end, AGC ensured us that they would follow up with the birth mother and ensure that she is taken care of. Although we do not have contact with our birth mother, we are confident that the living expenses fees we paid were used appropriately to help her and her daughter.
We still have contact with AGC almost five years after our adoption. We have referred several friends to them and would go back in a heart beat. Thank you Adoption By Gentle Care for your compassion and sincerity in helping making our dreams of becoming parents come true.

I am writing this review years after my experience with Adoption By Gentle Care. At first, my case worker seemed very helpful. However the financial situation that I found myself in after both parties (the adoptive parents and the adoption agency) got what they wanted is very upsetting, and what this adoption agency did to contribute to the situation seems unethical to me. I was 19 and kept the pregnancy from my father. I was assured by my case worker that Medicaid would take care of everything. She was well aware that I had insurance underneath my father, but because I didn’t want him to know she encouraged me to use Medicaid. Medicaid accepted me and paid for everything, including an ultrasound midway through the pregnancy and my c-​section at OSU hospital.
Months after I handed the child over, I got my first bills from OSU. They told me that Medicaid denied my claims, since I technically had insurance under my father. I got into contact with my case worker, but couldn’t find the office I was given directions to (to drop the bills off) and she never answered her cell phone. I didn’t have a car and that trip downtown was so frustrating, especially knocking on the unmarked door that was supposed to be their office. I wish now that scanning, emailing, and faxing were as easy then for me as they are now. I didn’t have a computer, I didn’t have a smart phone– this as 2007, but I was young, poor and very naïve.
Shortly after I received a phone call from a man trying to collect a payment for the hospital. I told him that the adoption agency was supposed to pay anything that the insurance didn’t cover. He thanked me and never called again– I (once again naively) assumed he was researching the matter to insure the bills would be taken care of. I was being young and irresponsible, and ultimately had absolutely no guidance.
The next time I heard about the bill was 3 years later. I called Adoption By Gentle Care, and they explained it was too late and they were no longer legally bound to pay for the hospital bills. I even contacted the adoptive parents (it was an open adoption) and explained the situation– after all, they have the child, maybe they would help me with the cost of delivering the baby? But the mother told me that they only moved forward with the adoption because I was supposed to be covered by Medicaid. My insurance company won’t accept claims that are older than one year.
Ethically, it doesn’t seem right that the adoption agency misled me in my insurance choice. It also just seems wrong that even though they aren’t legally bound to assist with bills after one year, they would still allow a teen (who couldn’t afford to give birth to a child and raise him) to be stuck with a $ 13,000 medical bill. I had the c-​section because I was encouraged BY THEM to set a date to be induced (only 3 days after my due date). This adoption agency encouraged me to do so to allow the adoptive parents to schedule their flight from California in order to be there when the child was born. In case you aren’t familiar with the risks of inducing a birth rather than letting it occur naturally, this means the risk of a c-​section increases dramatically.
So 36 hours after being induced, I was told I had no choice but to have an expensive, life-​altering surgical cesarean when the induction didn’t work (which is very common, but I did not know this at the time). And I am still paying this medical bill. I understand that much of this had to do with my ignorance and lack of responsibility, but also THEY PROVIDED ME WITH THE WRONG ADVICE THAT HAS LEFT ME IN DEBT EVER SINCE, AND THEY MOST DEFINITELY DID NOT CARE ONE OUNCE FOR ME ONCE THEY MADE THEIR MONEY FROM MY CASE.