Trick Or Treating

Ghosts, ghouls, gourds! Oh my! Halloween is the only night of the year that you can show up at someone’s house in a disguise with a pillow case and not be shot or institutionalized. And if you’re a kid, there’s nothing like getting candy from a stranger without any emotionally scarring consequences. As an adult without any kids, it’s becoming harder every year to acquire treats. This is mainly because of the immense peer pressure to stop tricking or treating. This year I’ve given in and decided to stay home with my birds, but I will give a preview of some local treats that you can expect to see in the area: Peter on 5^th Ave. — great treats but if he asks if you want to come inside and «polish his gourd» or «pull his ghoul», just say «no thanks!» Mr. MacGuffin on Main St. — good treats, but every kid who violates his strict «only take one» policy disappears, Lady Poobs in the alley — awesome treats and is an actual witch that eats hamsters, Vincent on Vine — no treats because he’s a magician and does tricks instead, Hafez on High — does not know what Halloween is and is a street meat vendor. As you can see there are plenty of great treats in the area. Have fun this Halloween and remember: never go into a stranger’s house unless they have incredible treats and they promise that they know your parents