The Khyber

Now that the Khyber is no longer a live music venue, I thought I’d write an elegaic review.
Khyber isn’t really a place, it was an era. It represents my early adulthood when a legal beer was still a novelty & the bands sounded interesting, no matter badly they played. It was a time when I had dreamy crushes rather than soul-​less hookups. The Khyber was the siren song that drew me out of my West Philly home. Old City was just as alienating then as it is now, so I stayed inside that black tinted box.
With the exception of the Jonathan Richman show, I couldn’t bear to go to the Khyber in the past few years. Now, the faces in the crowd remind me how I’ve aged. The beer has been drunk 1,000 times before and the music cannot penetrate my jaded senses.
I understand that the Khyber couldn’t live forever and stay frozen in a utopian hey day. Neither can I.

Decent spot to check out live music or to Destroy Your Liver on Sunday nights. Aside from that, I don’t know what I’ve come here for. Not the kinda joint I chill at. Meh.
A message to the ladies: the upstairs bathroom is downright frightening. You’re better off (as some have truly and honestly done) peeing in the stairwell.

Khyber needs to make up its mind-​do you go here to watch shows or for $ 2 PBRs and a juke box? Doing both simultaneously just doesn’t work. You can’t carry a conversation with a friend at the bar if the the bar is also connected to the staging area for a band.
Here’s an idea-​put the show in a separate area, like I dunno, upstairs and have the bar separate?

Oh man, where do I even begin… if my best friend could be a place, the Khyber would be it.
I started coming here when I was 21 and never stopped. I’ve met some of my best friends in this bar and spent more nights here than I can possibly count (or remember, for that matter). It’s a great venue for live music, hanging out and spending time with some cool people.
It’s a dirty, disgusting dive bar, so know that before you go. Don’t bitch about how gross the bathrooms are or how it smells if you’ve already been warned going into it. It’s not going to magically change when you’re there. (You don’t date a wifebeater and expect him to start treating you like a princess either.) You’re going to feel like the floor is going to fall underneath you, especially if a band is playing downstairs.
A word of advice… get to know your bartenders. Trust them. Tip them well. You’re nice to them, they’re nice to you. If you’re a dick, then they’re going to remember that.
Also, be nice to the people there, because chances are they… correct that WE… are regulars & friends of the bartenders. Get on our good side and chances are you’ll get an assload of free drinks (they’re cheap, what do we care?) We’re really friendly. Granted we’re loud & tattooed & drunk off our asses, but in general, we’re really nice people.
PS — Don’t use the bathrooms upstairs. Just don’t. I haven’t in about three years. Oh, and if you wear a popped collar or are a total douchebag, please find another bar because I’m tired of making fun of you.

My GF and I stopped in on our way to the Ritz to get some beers. $ 1 Bottles in Old City. Enough said! We decided to split a sandwich so we ordered the vegan chicken sandwich. Based upon my preconceived notions of this place, I figured that my sandwich was probably going to be a meatless Boca patty on a hamburger roll. I was however pleasantly surprised when I received my sandwich. It was served with onion, shredded lettuce, and tomato on a large pita bread (with a really awesome spicy sauce). The meat itself was Seitan! Which the cook informed me, after coming out to check on us, was house made! Two beers and a sandwich for $ 7!!! I will definitely be back to the Khyber. The only downside to this place is the fact that the bathroom doors do not shut properly on the ground floor.

The Khyber provides my favorite Sunday night in Philadelphia. $ 10 gets you all-​you-​can-​drink from 10 til 2. ‘Nuff said. I moved to Japan last year, but before I left, they called it «Too Drunk To Fuck Sundays.» I can’t think of a better name, because this place is the embodiment of debauchery. Before I left, the ghetto kids were starting to really rise in presence, but the typical tattooed alt kids were also holding their ground alongside the college newbies.
I’ll never forget the night that I was standing against the wall with some friends, admiring a gorgeous girl across the room. I went to make my move, and BAM, she projectile vomited all over the floor. She sprinted down the stairs, never to be seen again.
That’s the Kyhber on a Sunday.
I’m sure times have changed, but Wednesday used to be a 90’s dance party upstairs. $ 2 PBR and $ 3 Kenzinger/​Sparks. Those were the days…
(I’ve never drank downstairs, so this review is strictly for the upstairs portion).

I was checking out previous reviews on The Khyber and found myself nodding with Sara C’s 2008 write up. This bar has definitely passed its heyday and can you only imagine what the bathrooms look like 2 years later?
It’s a dive bar escape in a neighborhood overrun by Jersey Shore hopefuls, that might be its most redeeming quality.

Man, talk about some untapped potential. I’ve realized that there are precious few small rooms that I care to see a show in here in Philly. Kung Fu Necktie? Most awkward setup ever. Barbary? The shows are dry. But The Khyber. Oh, the Khyber. That, my friend, is a room for a show. It’s small and dank and has no pillars and the bar is conveniently to the side, and it kind of reminds me of The Hemlock in SF. But WHAT is up with the whack booking? I mean, not always. Sometimes they accidentally book good bands. But I want to go there all the time.
In other news, I find this place a pretty welcome respite from douchery in Old City, and not too overpriced or any such mess. And having an upstairs that is treacherous to get to is actually a plus in my book, plus I hear they do cool shit up there sometimes. And there’s food? I want to eat it and then tell you about it.
I could really see myself vibing this place HARD if they started making better use of the band room.

Have enjoyed several rockin’ eves at this bar/​music venue. The Khyber’s appeal is in the underground music experience it provides — otherwise, it’s pretty grotty. There are only a handful of venues in the city that take the time to regularly showcase this much relatively unknown local, and not so local, talent. I once took in a Cibo Matto show here on the second floor (awesome!) — a lot of sound for the space, but few bigger places in town (e.g., the TLA or Tower) would have highlighted this band so early in their rise to art-​rock legend status.
There are two floors, so you can take in a couple of different kinds of shows in one night — say, a DJ on one, and a band on the other — often for a meager additional fee. It’s a diamond of indie culture in the coal pile of mass-​consumption-​oriented Old City dance clubs (no offense to the Rihanna; it’s just not what I enjoy anymore). On my first outing here, there was a good number of colorful locals and a psychedelic-​groove DJ who carried the crowd well, and that’s fairly characteristic. There’s usually enough room to move and experience the music, and it isn’t too much of a trial grabbing that beer break when you need it. When you’re feeling the olé’ nostalgia for grunge, 80s synth pop, and those unheard-​of little outfits clattering around town, this is the spot.

This review ain’t for the quality of bands at The Khyber. Nope.
This review also ain’t for the quality of sound at The Khyber. Nuh Uh.
This review especially isn’t for the ease of typing ‘Khyber’ on my keyboard. Nyet.
Those shining cinco estrellas up there all stand for fabulous grungy, divey, rocky goodness. Oh Baby Yes.
I’m not a Phillyphyte, nah, I live in Chicago… but I think that’s what makes me utterly love this bar/​venue and it’s complete East Coast vibe of underground electricity. A bar filled with gritty looking dudes, slutty looking groupie chicks (of course I say that with utter appreciation, Miss Penny Lane) and fabulously cheap, really cold beer. I saunter through the door, giggle my way past a cover charge, order a Yuengling and prepare for a crazy night… what could be better? Sweaty dancing, loud music, the touch of too close bodies, and sometimes, if you’re lucky, toy keyboards (band permitting).
The ceilings are low, the stage is small, the bands are unheard of (at least for me) and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.

The Khyber has a sort of awesomeness to it that you don’t really find in a lot of other tiny bars across the city. The feeling I get while patronizing the Khyber is similar to how I feel after I’ve just spent six hours on my couch, eating Doritos and watching an America’s Next Top Model marathon – dirty and totally blissed out.
I miss when the happy hour lasted until 8PM, though. Oh, and when the shows were a bit more fun and a lot less Old City douche-​y. Ah well, times change. But $ 1 bottles of lager are still okay in my book so, you know, kisses to you, Khyber.

The Khyber is still a solid spot for shows (heck it seems to be the only spot in Philly that hooks up a Peelander Z show these days.). But it really seems like the booking has significantly dropped the quality of shows that it typically brings in. And I’ve lost track of the number of $ 8 shows it’s had with lineup’s that would garner a $ 5 price tag at a lot of other spots (North Star, The Fire, M Room).
But in a lot of ways I can understand the decline. after all places like Kung Fu Necktie and Johnny Brenda’s have been blowing up with shows. And spots like The Fire have been hooking up a better space for the locals. So in situations like that it’s the OG who falters. But it still brings in an occasional great show that’s worth it. And I like that they’ve been hooking up good all ages shows upstairs.

I love the Khyber. I’ve been coming here since I was 18 (errr, 21) and I love it still. Need a place to escape from the throngs of yuppies stumbling down 2^nd Street drunk on Friday night? The K is your spot — dark, gritty, full of strange men in leather pants and muscles tee (or hipsters in plaid shirts and skinny jeans — depending on the night) — managing to deter Old City weekenders, and welcome locals.
Inside…yes, it’s kinda dirty, the paint is peeling off the walls, the bathrooms are stinky and a little bit sketch, and there’s that weird cowboy dude always hanging around downstairs. But there are also $ 1 beers downstairs from 5 – 7 and upstairs from 9 – 11 during the week, and a $ 10 open bar on Sundays. Did you hear me? ONE DOLLAR BEERS!!! No wonder I’m parked on their barstools at least once a week.
The K throws shows too — mostly local bands — which are cheap, rad, and generally rocking, although be warned — they NEVER EVER START ON TIME. Stay away from the hardcore shows unless you’re hardcore — I’m certainly not, and once made the mistake of showing up for a Meatmen show… I almost died that night, in addition to being groped by like 87 987 987 skeevy old punk-​rockers.

I like beer a lot. And while The Khyber will never really be able to compete with the great beer bars of the city, The Khyber is a great bar in its own way. There are a few reasons that I really like this spot.
Location and Atmosphere: Olde city is full of bad, crowded bars. In other parts of town, the Khyber might not be worth mentioning. But because it’s so much better than a lot of bars in a three block radius, the Kyber gains some ground. Further, it’s gritty bar where the real salt of the earth come out. I don’t know where that phrase comes from, but when I sit at the bar, I’m surronded by a legit crowd.
Music: In addition to a good jukebox, the Khyber is a great small venue. It has a small stage next to the bar downstairs and another space upstairs with a second bar. Downstairs has decent bands for modest cover charges, while upstairs will play indie rock and ear-​numbing levels. If you feel cool enough, you can dance the night away.
Specials: The Khyber has an awesome happy hour. 5 to 8 pm, which is a good start. Throw in $ 2 Yards pints and the $ 4 Royal burger. Results: Awesomeness. On top of that, $ 10 open bar, or «Kill Your Liver» is every Sunday.
Food and Drink: The Khyber has a a decent selection of beer. They don’t have anything amazing, but the variety have something on tap to please any palette. And if not, go for the $ 2 PBR pounder. As for the food, the Khyber has a small but varied menu of greasy bar food that’s surprisingly cheap and delicious. They even have veg and vegan options.
Service: I’m pretty sure I’ve had the same bartender a majority of times I’ve been to the Khyber, but he’s a cool guy. There’s not much in the way of traditional service, but that’s not why you’re at the Khyber.
With all of the above mentioned, The Khyber adds up to be a great spot. Maybe I’m a bit biased. I just like the place.

There’s an upstairs? Ok but seriously, for live music the Khyber is so great. This may confuse you, if you’ve read any of my other music venue reviews, but i LOVE this place. if you’re looking for character, the Khyber’s got more than you can probably even handle.
what’s the matter, you don’t like being uncomfortably close to strangers? Okay stay home then and rearrange your sock drawer in a way that would make tony shaloub’s «monk» proud of you.
sure i may have faulted doc’s for having a lack-​of-​space problem, but maybe i need to be more specific. the khyber’s viewing area is pretty small but there’s a difference: the crowd is there for a REASON! they’re not just there because the band playing is their roommate’s boyfriend’s best friend’s band. they’re there because the act is good and they dig the music and the scene. i remember a particularly packed evening to see the kin play. the energy in the crowd was one of the best i’ve ever experienced.
there’s just something to be said for a good gritty bar. you can’t fake that kind of atmosphere. it’s a really difficult quality to express and even more difficult to capture, repackage and sell. you know this place doesn’t make any assumptions of itself or of you.
i’d equate the khyber to the smelly boy in fifth grade that sat in the back of class. sure his cat may have peed one too many times on his mr. t backpack, his trapper keeper is sketched all over with crazy drawings, and he’s got holes in his clothes without intending to be making a statement. but he’s actually a nice kid and you’re not embarrassed to sit next to him at lunch time. and you know what else? when he grows up he’s going to eff the head cheerleader after homecoming while her football player boyfriend is doing keg stands.

Ahh, memories. And when it comes to The Khyber, I have more than a few. Like the time I played Twister in the middle of the joint with whatever band was headlining that night. Or the time I accidentally got locked in the bathroom (trust me when I say that you do not want. ever.). Or how ’bout that time I almost fell down the stairs due to pulling a Lohan? Good times.
I recall drinking lots of beer at the bar downstairs while listening to live music and shaking my fanny upstairs to many a DJ’s sets. One time my coat was stolen but I’m over that now. Khyber, you’re like an old boyfriend that was super fun but a long-​term relationship just wasn’t in the cards for us.
My memories are a bit hazy, but that’s probably for the best. Because if I can’t exactly remember it, I can pretend it didn’t happen.
That is totally my new mantra.

Oh Khyber, I like you. I really Do. But we’ve just met and it’s too soon to get into anything serious right now. You certainly are my type for sure, but you have to know I am seeing other clubs too, right?
Stopped in to meet a friend the other night and while I dug the vibe instantly, they stopped serving food a few hours previous. So I finished me bevy and we meandered across to the Plough and Stars. I suppose it says a lot about me to say I preferred the Khyber’s atmosphere ;) Old weathered bar that you want to hear it’s stories. Cool tunes on the radio, chill people all around… what’s not to like.
Bottom line, I’ll be back either for a show or shits and giggles (with a full stomach) and am sure to add a few stars then.

I really dig the Khyber.
We got there in the early evening when our friends were playing a show. Their set got bumped back far enough that we were going to have to miss them in order to catch our bus back to NYC. The sound guy set them up for an extended sound check so that they could play a couple of songs for us before we left.
Seriously! How awesome is that?
The bartender on staff was also awesome. We got some cheap and tasty beers & he refilled my water bottle for me.
Everyone in the place is totally down to earth and nice. No attitude. AND we got great service, which is more of a bonus than an expectation when visiting dive bars.
Annnnnd, no Sex In The City fantasists, like there are in damn near every other bar in this area.

Khyber has been around for eons.
If the band you like is playing here — then GO!!! (By all means.)
But if you are old & farty and can’t deal with the groping males in the crowd and the FILTHY dirty restrooms, then skip it.
It’s just too loud for me to go here anymore.
I guess I am now officially an old fart.
But I do have fond memories of the Khyber from days gone by…

The Khyber is a dive indeed. The bar fills up fast and I always have to stand. The stage is too small. I always feel crammed in. The bands are too loud. The bathroom door barely closes. I could go on, but I love it here. Good beer, good shows. If you come specifically to see a headliner and you’re not interested in the local openers (which are always interesting), don’t bother showing up until 10 at the earliest. I’ve also heard good things about their happy hours.