Highway 26

Nice enough highway. The whole going east thing can suck because of the tunnel, and the whole going west thing can suck because of the sun in your eyes in the evening.
Traffic is typically slow-​ish and definitely doesn’t move during rush hour. The light meters seem to take way too long to turn green in my opinion as well. Traffic is for sure annoying, but it’s also everywhere so it’s hard to judge a highway based on just that.
If you can get your way past Hillsboro the ride is great! Going to the coast is pretty easy and beautiful when you’re going through Tillamook Forest.

In stark contrast to all the crap reviews from locals, I hereby re-​christen Highway 26 as Way Too Much Freeway for this backwoods link to Portland. A 4-​lane divided highway with a speed limit of 60 mph for autos and double nickels for semis? Why? Almost everyone drives forty-​five in both lanes. It may as well be a farmer’s dirt road.
Whoever specified this disproportionate slab of dripping pork either (1) relied on a trip growth forecast that assumed near-​term development of about a hundred tribal casinos between Hillsboro and the coast, or (2) completely ignored the demographics of local drivers as either ranchers, retirees, or octogenarian retired ranchers.
The traffic CF isn’t due to the road, folks. This godforsaken stretch of pavement is far better maintained than I-​5 between Eugene & Ashland. Blame the Oregonians behind the wheel.

Dear Highway 26,
My first clear memory of you is that you «took» us to the beach. That was sweet indeed, and the sweet feelings remained for years. I know I drove on you a lot when I was working towards my driver’s license, and the first time I drove on you alone after I had my license at 16 was the feeling of freedom, freedom, freedom and that I had really moved on up (cue The Jeffersons theme). Ahhh, then adulthood and driving on you from Hillsboro to OHSU for a couple of years was urggghhhhhhhh. I hated you and the traffic, but it was kind of exhilerating when I managed to make it back and forth in the snow and ended up feeling like a total badass when I conquered the snow and other bad weather with hardly a hair out of place.
I googled you and read up on your history. While you weren’t always a major highway, you were a major route in ancient times, and all sorts of things, including slaves, were transported up through the Columbia Gorge (the best part of you for me by the way) before you were paved over. I know a lot about Portland and Oregon, being a native and all, but I was amazed at your history and all the places you are and take us.
I’ll never love your traffic between Portland and say Hillsboro, but I remain brave and drive you on occasion to get where I need to go and enjoy you immensely where I love to go (Oregon Coast and Columbia Gorge), so for those extremes you end up with a good solid three stars and my regards for all the great things you provide and some small bit of rancor over the difficult parts.
Love,
Me

Highway 26 doesn’t always suck.
When I drive to work at 4:00 AM, I am usually one of just a couple of cars on the road. I have never seen a cop at that hour either. There are a couple of reasons that I drive to work at that crap-​ass hour.
First, I am one of just a couple of cars on the road. Two, I have never seen a cop hiding out waiting to ticket me as I regularly drive 70 MPH (that will probably change now that I have written this). And lastly, parking sucks where I live, and I try to get home early to find a parking space where I live downtown/​NW Portland.
Now, when the time comes to drive home at 3:00 PM, things are a bit different on Highway 26. Highway 26 indeed sucks. I can travel along at a good clip, 65 – 70 until I reach about Sylvan and then, for whatever eff’d up reason, traffic comes to a standstill then will creep along at about 20 until I exit at Jeld-​Wen.
What gives?
Is it the assholes that decide to change lanes inside the tunnel? Probably. Listen up. Don’t be that asshole ok? Don’t eff up my, and everyone else’s drive home and turn the highway into a clusterfuck. Ok?
Thankyouverymuch.
2014 — Review # 30

From Banks to the Coast, this highway is fine. From Sandy to Prineville, this highway is fine. From PDX to the ‘boro, it is a big bowl of limp dick.
That middle drive alone was enough to make my wife and me move to SW PDX. Seriously, that was slowly draining my soul and joy 45 minutes at a time. And tack on the lovely drive on 217 whenever I had a customer in Salem… man, I am surprised that I have not had multiple aneurysms. If I had a customer appointment at 9am in Salem, I would have to leave at 6:45 from the ‘boro to make sure I got there on time. Any later, and I could be late. Seriously. That drive must have aged me 10 years over a 5 year span. And if I had to drive into downtown in the morning… yeah, I used the MAX. But if I had to go into NoPo or the ‘Couve in the morning, I made sure to take an extra dump before I left… just to be on the safe side.
I am a much happier man now. Good by, good luck, and good riddance, Sunset Highway. You will not be missed. At all.

This review is for the portion of Highway 26 that is west of the Willamette River.
I love it when this highway has absolutely no traffic at all. Unfortunately, I’m never on it between 11:00 pm and 4:00 am.
During all other times, this stretch of highway has jams that mirror those one might see in L.A., downtown Manhattan, and any other metropolitan area where roadway congestion is a way of life. It is so much so that I try to avoid Highway 26, which is a major conduit for my commute to and from work.
And, I wished we have a more robust rail system so that more people are able to choose public transportation to traverse this side of Portland.
I don’t know what the true solution is to the incessant congestion on highway 26. It’s even congested on the weekends presumably from the tourists and Washingtonians who use it to get between Portland and the Oregon Coast.
Sigh.
I wish I could work from home.

I wanted to like this place but IT CAN GO TO HELL.
Seriously, it’s a gamble between 217 and 26 for most infuriating highway in this area. I mean seriously and seriously — what highway is so jacked up that you’re going to be early or late but NOT ON TIME no matter when you leave.
Here’s why — it slows down for… no reason. You’re clipping along at 55mph and then BAM. STOPPED. But the other two lanes are going along fine? But then nope, they’re stopped… then going then… THE HELL. It’s magical lanes of stop ‘n’ go and the only thing missing is LOGIC. Y’all can keep expanding this highway but all you’re doing is creating more stupid bottlenecks.
Cops like to hide out and give tickets at the bottom on the hill westbound. Cute. Why don’t you give tickets to the a**holes who change lanes eastbound IN THE TUNNEL causing a traffic pile up? Probably because it’s easier that way. Go to… Hades.
You are better off taking the MAX, or a magical Pegasus to get anywhere on this hellhole of a highway no matter WHEN you are travelling. No jokes. Go with the Pegasus.
I f**cking hate this highway. I wanted to like it… but that’s the stupidest thing to say in a negative review ;)

There’s few places on this earth I would give this much negative stars to and Highway 26 gets –26 stars!
I moved here 12 years ago. It was two lanes too narrow then. Some five years later they extended it to 3 lanes westbound up until Bethany. The traffic just moved to the bottle neck at Bethany. Fucking genius. Then, this year, they had a bright idea to widen the freeway again. This time that third lane will bottle neck one exit further at 185^th. Fucking genius. They did all that construction and I thought they finally would make the goddam freeway 4 lanes. Instead there’s the biggest shoulders ever on both sides for the 5 – 0 to eat their donuts. 13 years of off and on construction and the fucker is still one lane too narrow. Who planned this frickin freeway? I wish I had such a low level standard of success. Fucking genius.
There are cops all along side of the freeway to fight crime… errrr… Give speeding tickets. The freeway is actually built to give po-po’s plenty of hiding options for speed traps. The biggest speed traps being westbound going downhill from Sylvan to Murray and the overpasses from Cornelius Pass to Jackson School Road. They might as well put a Donut truck alongside the freeway. So, yes, the entire westbound side is a speed trap.
And Eastbound… holy shit… what a failure. Whoever planned the thing actually said, «Let’s make the ONE MAIN and LONE artery into the city as small and narrow as possible through a goddam tunnel. We are never going to grow. No one will ever want to move here. So traffic won’t be a problem, But it will be a cool tunnel!»
Because of that goddam tunnel, the traffic has unpredictable patterns (oxymoron). 6PM rush hour on a Monday could be bumber-​to-​bumper. Then the next week, it’s smooth sailing. 2PM on a Saturday? Want to take that leisurely drive downtown? EHHHHHH, WRONG! Bumper-​to Bumper traffic! The wife and I want to go on a late night Friday date at 9PM. Oh shit, they decided to do some bullshit roadwork, close one lane and now there’s a 40 minute delay.
I am from the land of the 5,101,110, 60, 405, 605, 91, 710, 210, and no other freeway gets me more pissed than Highway 26.

Oh Highway 26, I wish I could say «It’s not you… it’s me». But we both know that’s a load of BS. It *is* you, at least the part of you living in the Portland metro area. It’s your fault that you frustrate me so. I need someone a bit, well… bigger. You’ve heard that size doesn’t matter? Oh honey, you were told wrong. Size DOES matter and you just don’t cut it. And you’re kind of a player — all those cars at once?! Because of that, you’re usually moving way too slow for my taste, at all times of day. You’ve recently done some grooming, you’re nice and smooth all the way to the tunnel, so kudos to your hard work, but it’s not enough. Unfortunately for you, I’ll do almost anything to avoid you when you’re at your busiest. But you know I may come back for a little repeat lovin’ when times get tough and I need you again.
Sorry we couldn’t make things work. I’m not the kind of gal that gets involved with someone that needs to change. The parts of you going toward to the coast and heading east outside of PDX are a slight improvement; you really should try to be more like them.
Good luck finding somebody new!
xoxo
Mish

I drive so hard on this Highway to the beach! Oh!

It’s not your fault Highway 26, it’s ours.
We’ve got plenty of folks who drive this highway like fools.
The stretch between Portland and Hillsboro sucks to high hell.
The stretch between Hillsboro and the coast is a wild ride.
From Portland to Mount Hood is crazy and chock full of white knuckled drivers.
Keep on rockin’ Highway 26.

There’s a Unilocal profile for the freeway?! Well I’ll be damned.
Dear Hwy 26,
I dislike you. You need to be at least one lane larger. You are always congested at any given time of the day. You make me want to scream, shout, and give other drivers the finger. Especially when going through the tunnel toward I84 and they cut me off to avoid being stuck in your long, long, line of cars. I’ve gotten in a bad accident on you. Drivers here are nuts and go well over the speed limit around your turns. Every hour seems like rush hour on the west side. And yet, I have to take you nearly every day to get around. Sigh.
Angrily yours,
Val

By the time I have moved on from my current job I will have spent a short lifetime on the 26. Although I don’t take pride in this fact, there are worst freeways to be stuck on. As a commuting veteran on 5 lane freeways, the 26 is a breeze. Yes there is congestion, but show me a freeway that doesn’t! When approaching downtown and once you get into Hillsboro the 26 is a really pretty drive. In the middle there is gets a little strip-​mally but that’s Beaverton for you.
I long for the day the 26 wont be a daily part of my life, but all and all it’s alright in my book.

Highway 26 — the road linking you toward the beach cities and your link to downtown Portland.
RUSH HOUR:
Going Eastbound (towards the city)
— Its pretty much from the Sylvan Highway side to the tunnel every morning 7−9am.
— Home rush hour 4−6pm
Going Westbound (towards the beach)
— Morning rush to the Intel corporations: 7−9am
— And also the home rush hour its after the 217 division to the 185^th exit from 430ish — 7pm.
Most of the time you’d see a car stranded here or there along the side of the road. Once in a while you’ll see an ambulance taking the freeway, so you have to steer clear even though there are 2 or 3 lanes of cars trying to make way. They’re currently doing some construction on the 26 — widening the roads and making more lanes. I don’t know how long this process is going to take because of the rain.
I usually get impatient sometimes and end up taking the side streets, it may sometimes be more efficient that waiting through a parking lot on the 26. When the roads are clear, its nice, but when its rush hour, its some-​what bearable.

My first alarm goes off at 7:30. My second at 7:45.
Without fully opening my tired eyes, I’m able to unconsciously turn off and reset both clocks. It is an unbreakable habit. In what felt like seconds later, my mind screams 8:20 am! and I frantically stumble out of bed.
I can make it to work by 9 if I’m lucky. If all the lights are green. If cars are at reasonable speeds. If I neglect heating up the engine. If the 26E «stop on red» ramp lights are off. Please let them be off!
8:43. Out the door with a half-​heated English muffin clenched in my mouth.
8:50. Drove through the busy streets and encountered two horribly long red lights, passed two large snail-​paced produce trucks, and am reluctantly stopped at the ramp on the 26E. Great, the «stop on red» ramp lights are on… Thoughts about how silly this light is rage though my mind. and why are there so many cars at this time!!!
8:52. Ramp still ahead. I scan the cars ahead of me and realize I miscalculated and chose the slower side. The blue Ford at my tail just merged on before I did. But Keren Ann is sweetening my speakers and…
8.52.1 Vaporizing the hot tension.
8:52.5. I momentarily notice the homeless person isn’t waiting under the merging light today, but the bucket he sits on is still there. I wonder where he is.
8:53. Next up. My brakes are released as I count the seconds the red light has been on. I gently press on the gas. 0 – 55 in 4 seconds and I’m on it!
8:53.5. Green Buick in front of me is swerving between the two lanes. After going back and forth twice, he settles on my lane. My instant thought «Is this guy drunk driving in the morning??»
8:54. He cuts off &tailgates the car in front of him, but somehow I end up right behind him. I decide to stay behind him and assess the cars ahead of him. They are all at constant speeds. Like a line of ants going down an ant hill.
8:57. A third-​lane opens at exit 65 and the Buick quickly swerves onto the farthest right lane and zips forward. I relax.
8:59. Exit 68. 217 south. My exit is coming up. Five school buses are on the exiting lane. They’re slow. Way too slow.
8:59.5. My exit is 3 seconds away. I glance at my mirrors and move two lanes over while holding onto a 70 mph speed.
8:59.7. I brake as I ease onto the ramp exiting into Portland. I notice the green Buick is right in front of me. He takes the left lane, and then cuts into mine without signaling. WHO is this guy???
9:02. I park underneath structured lot and see him park in the handicapped spot across the street. A man in his late 50s and slightly white hair steps out, while an lady in her 50s follows.
9:02.1. My mind is blown.