Mocha Express

Firstly, the tanning part of this place was really confusing. Tanning and coffee? I should have known better… However, the employees were very courteous and quick. My latte, on the other hand is so hot it has burned my tongue so that I can’t taste it. Making coffee too hot is one of the worst ways to ruin it.

My one minute video review of Mocha Express:

All in all, great coffee shop.
Five stars for the espresso they use which is a really solid roast and even their house coffee is superior to most Portland coffee shops.
Service is always speedy so really good stop if you are in a hurry.

This place is awesome! The employees are smiley and friendly, the coffee is great, and with so many options! Very cozy and an overall great environment. Favorite go-​to relaxation place.

Bad coffee, bad service, i will not return ever!

Service was really slow. Not that exciting for a coffee shack.

I am so bummed that this place has so many crap reviews… I reluctantly agree with the consensus on the coffee/​food quality, but the staff here are really really friendly and sweet and at least pretend to understand my sense of humor which I appreciate. And doesn’t everything taste better when served with an eastern European smile… the answer is YES. I have never tried the tanning salon upstairs as I prefer to drown my sorrows in a tall stout or some potatoes, like a good Irish girl.

This place is basically just a front for a tanning salon. They wouldn’t let me have my CLOSED drink inside, they didn’t make their own sandwiches and the men behind the counter leered at me and my girlfriend in an uncomfortable way. Not to mention, the man who rang us up looked directly at me and my (PROUDLY) pale self and told us about the lotions for sale for the tanning salon upstairs.
I will NOT be going back.
Ever.
EVEEEER.

are you sleepy this coffee will Zap Ya awake. ITs just coffee tastin coffee way better than starchuks

The coffee’s good, the seating area’s comfortable, and the staff are friendly and attentive.
Mocha Express, sadly, won’t win any awards for being dazzling, outstanding, or exciting, but that’s okay. The coffee is a basic, decent brew, the chai is tasty, and the soft chairs are comfortable and perfect. What has always amazed me is that the place has survived in an area where the traffic is pretty much going from there to here, no great reason to stop for much of anything.
Where it really stood out was the attentive cashier and barista who made the drinks with a bright smile.
There is free wi-​fi, but if you don’t have a computer, they have five or six computer stations that are free for an hour with purchase of a coffee drink, which makes it a good choice for a quick e-​mail check after you finish reading your paper.
Along this section of SE 82^nd, it’s your best bet.

Mocha Express is the bane of my existence.
For years upon years I have patronized the drive up coffee window, and truth be told I should know better. The problem here is not the prices which are high, its not the barista’s which are young cute teenage girls who really are not barista’s at all but are «coffee makers». The problem is the coffee. Mocha Express’ coffee is so weak, so flavorless and bland it makes Folgers sounds appealing.
They charge $.75 cents more for any size of espresso drink than any other coffee shop, and they use less shots. A 16oz triple latte will cost you near to 4 dollars and taste like milky water. I have been fooled by the «eagle vision» espresso, not in an attempt to get wired but on my endless pursuit of a flavorful drink and I can surely tell you this gimmick (.50 cents extra, plus.50 cents more for a third shot) does nothing to up the anti. When its raining, and my son is snoozing in the back seat, and Im on 82^nd and want something hot to drink I need to remember that a few blocks further south there is the Sbux at Fu Bonn. Which although their coffee sucks too at least it tastes like something!

Drive through coffee.
The coffee is terrible but there is definitely some convenience to not having to get out of your car to get said coffee.
The pastries here consist of Costco muffins (by now, everyone has experienced these oversized, Saran-​wrapped muffins) that they stick in a microwave and heat up (without being asked to or warning the customer that it’s going to happen) thus creating a fairly mushy, warm, irradiated lump of muffin that’s been saturated with microwaved plastic fumes. Sounds tasty? Surprise! It’s not.
This coffee shop is a boon to the overly lazy and those in a great hurry who would just as soon buy coffee at a 7 – 11 or somewhere similar. This coffee is a let-​down if you’re a fan of french press, quality beans, or even a nice solid drip made from a good roast.
I’ve never had the espresso, so I can’t comment, but I am guessing that if you’re the type that’s into milkshakes (aka 20 oz foamy mocha/​flavored milk creations lightly accented by a shot or 2 of espresso), then you can’t really tell the difference anyway so what does it matter? You’ll probably be fine with it.
Sorry if the owners read this. I know this is a snarky review, but the service I got the last few times I decided to punish myself in this drive thru was pretty brusque, so I guess you’re used to hearing stuff like this.
One extra star because I feel bad shitting all over a locally owned business, but really, this is a coffee city, and Mocha Express is simply not bringing any game whatsoever.
Cheers.