T B N-Trinity Broadcasting

I absolutely love this station, and not because I be praising the Jesus! Ha, not this godless pinko! If I did, I doubt I’d fully appreciate the programming this hidden gem has to offer. The entertainment value of this channel far surpasses that of just about any station you can’t get from our infamous local robber barons, Comcast. When I get tired of the gravity of the McNeil Lehrer News Hour on OPB, or when they’re running the awful programming during their fundraiser weeks, I switch over to Trinity. Who would have thought «wholesomeness» could be as or more entertaining than Monty Python’s Flying Circus? Welcome to the colorful, zany, and surreal dimension of Shiny-​Haired Gospel Mutants!
If only being a xenobiologist this entertaining in real life… well, when we get to that stage. People falling down in rows, writhing and jabbering away in fits of frenetic glossolalia, screaming out the love of the Lord or espousing eternal damnation in over-​starched suits and hair plastered down by a neutron star’s weight in gel, singing and swaying like a choir of serpents with voices while big-​haired ladies flash neon-​white smiles permanently affixed to their faces (reminiscent of Mr. Potato Head) stare out unblinkingly through eyes hidden inside pink or blue circles. It just doesn’t get better than this: praise the Lord!