Adoption Connection

Adoption Connection (AC) was part of our wonderful adoption journey and I can not recommend them more!
For our first encounter, we were late for the introductory class. As a result, Rachel agreed to meet us 1:1. We went to the Berkeley location (where the first class had been held) and she was waiting for us in the main SF office. She said, «stay put!»…and biked/BART’d to us across the bridge. That’s the the type of friendly dedication they showed throughout the process.
Then we met Malia. She coached us through our application process and birth mother letter. She too was patient, kind, and understanding. It is a new experience for us as adopting parents, and a host of funny emotions come up. How were you raised? What are your dreams? Fears? Hopes? You wanted to be a what?
Luckily, the adoption workshops answer all of your concerns and questions. You may be going through this once, but they have gone through hundreds of placements. THEIR expertise is YOUR strength! We followed their advice 100% and saved ourselves a lot of pitfalls and heartache.
My husband and I had a interstate adoption. Tara and AC have a strong relationship in other states. Mississippi said that it makes the process quicker and smoother to work with them since they are a full-​service agency. In fact, they call AC for legal and moral advice about open adoption.
Adoption is a journey, and there can be speed bumps, pot holes and road blocks before you get to the smooth highway. AC guides you through the entire process with love and kindness until you are matched with your perfect kiddo. We are thankful for them daily, and couldn’t imagine doing it any other way.
Thank you for making our family complete!

My husband and I adopted our son in 2014, going through the entire process as clients of Adoption Connection (AC). We recommend them very highly. We decided on AC after looking at a few other agencies, but frankly not very many. After going to AC’s orientation meeting, we both agreed that they just felt right, that these felt like the people and the organization we wanted to go through this process with.
What we liked about Adoption Connection, both initially and throughout the process, was their combination of real empathy and caring with very hard-​headed practicality, both in logistical and bureaucratic matters and in navigating the convoluted territory between birth family and adoptive family.
A quick rundown about how we felt about them about each of the various steps in the process:
Their preparatory classes are great. The four-​session introduction-​to-​adoption class is a crash course in a lot of what to expect in adoption, with a chance to hear from adoptive children, birthparents, and adoptive parents. It also lets you meet and connect, over the course of the class, with other people entering into the process, which is great. The transracial adoption class is very good — hard, because, especially if you’re white, you have to confront things honestly on a whole new level than you may ever have had to before, if you’re seriously considering adopting across racial lines — but extremely worthwhile and necessary. There’s other good preparatory classes on infant care, birthfamily relations, fetus substance exposure, etc.
Writing the letter. Writing the birthmother letter is excruciating, and they do a good job of being available to give you input as you’re working on it.
Waiting. Definitely one of the hardest parts. Adoption Connection frankly isn’t very proactive in being supportive during this stage. They’re definitely available to talk to you when you need it, and they host a good support group, but you’re largely on your own here. Our wait was three years, with mostly radio silence. Our main reassurance was that they would periodically ask us for more letters, which told us that our letter was in fact going out. I was and am ok with this. The agency has limited resources, and though it’s really hard waiting and waiting and waiting with very little hand-​holding, when things start happening (and they happen fast when they do happen), *that’s* when you really need them and *that’s* when they’re there. So, though it’s hard, I feel like their prioritization of where they put their effort is good. If you’re someone who needs super personalized attention during your wait or your search, you might want to think about working with an attorney or a facilitator. (Which you can do in conjunction with working with AC, I think.)
Once things started rolling for us, Adoption Connection was amazing. Much of navigating the relationship with the birthfamily is up to you, as it should be, but they’re very available to talk to you about how it’s going and to give you advice, and they’re in active, frequent contact with you during this time. They’re on top of all of the confusing, intimidating legal and bureaucratic aspects. In our case, the agency the birthmother was working with didn’t always do a great job, and Adoption Connection totally made sure that everything was taken care of, even though our chunky fee was going to the other agency. One piece of paperwork took months to resolve, and Adoption Connection was doggedly on top of it until the matter got fixed — they were wonderful.
In the end, what I like most about Adoption Connection (after their hard-​headed commitment to getting problems fixed) is that, in fact, they *don’t* automatically prioritize you, the adoptive parent, in the process. Adoption involves three parties: the child, the birthfamily, and the adoptive family. Adoption Connection honors all three parties in the process, with priority always given to the ultimate interests of the baby/​child. If for you, adoption is exclusively about you getting a baby, with no concern for either what being adopted means to the person your child will become or for the experience of the birthfamily, then Adoption Connection might not be the right agency for you. For me, adoption and birthfamly are integral pieces of who my son is, and as such, I cherish them for what they are and deeply appreciate Adoption Connection’s commitment to the entirety of the process. Not just my, the adoptive parent’s, piece of it.
Everyone we worked with at Adoption Connection is a fabulous combination of real, deep empathy and caring with real no-​nonsense practicality and toughness. I feel immensely lucky to have had them facilitate our adoption.

This is an update to my previous one star review. I had written that review because I was not fully informed of the changes in same sex step parent adoption and had not gotten a full refund when I found out I didn’t need a adoption service to do this anymore. However, I had a very prompt reply to my review and a phone call. I really appreciate the thoughtful response and Tara at the office also called me to follow up and offered a full refund as well as explained that the staff have discussed making sure that they explain to new or existing clients that the laws have changed and more upfront disclosure about those changes and getting a lawyer involved earlier if needed to advise of options.
Amy

If I could give a company or organization negative stars that is what I would do for Adoption Connection. My fiancé and I both want to adopt. It is something we talked about years ago when we first started dating. We do not want to adopt because of infertility issues, or other medical reasons.
Adoption is our first choice!
I was told by Adoption Connection that I «do not qualify» to adopt from their organization because I am not infertile.
I understand there are a lot of people that want to adopt. But I feel that a woman that is pregnant and is wonderful enough, and brave enough to place her child up for adoptions should have all the options of couples to choose from regarding who adopts her baby. I should not be disqualified because the reason for us wanting to adopt is not a medical reason. And it is unfortunate that this organization discriminates against couples that are healthy, and limits the options of families pregnant women get to choose from.
Shame on Adoption Connection!

We are grateful to Adoption Connection for the structure and support they gave us during our wait. My husband and I researched three adoption agencies when we decided to go domestic. AC seemed neither too big and expensive nor too small and so provided a good fit for us. The classes they offered and the monthly waiting support group were extremely beneficial. At the start of our adoption process, Lynne Fingerman provided invaluable assistance in the initial coordination with the out of state adoption agency we used. Our child is 2 years old now and we appreciate reconnecting at the annual picnic and the continuing education offered.

My partner and I worked with Adoption Connection for less than a year before our daughter was placed with us. The staff, especially Tammy, Rachel, Lynn and Leah, were amazing. The staff are kind and caring but professional. Was everything perfect? No But they were with us every step of the way.
I am sort of shocked at some of the negative comments on here. Underwhelmed but had a child placed with them within 18 months? After attending some of AC’s offerings, we met some pretty high maintenance adoptive parents that monopolized the staff’s time and seemed so utterly desperate that we felt bad for the staff. There are some people that will never be happy no matter what you do for them. I think it is cowardly to post something on this site without ever discussing it with the agency.
I agree with DJ and Alec about sometimes not feeling like we had enough time on the phone or had answers given to us in a very matter-​of-​fact way. But that is ok. I would much rather have straight forward than touchy-​feely fake.
If you want one-​on-​one hand holding and high maintenance driven attention, spend $ 25k and get yourself a lawyer. If you want an efficient, professional, proven agency then look into Adoption Connection.

We are a gay couple on the Peninsula who just completed our second adoption through Adoption Connection. For the most part, we were extremely pleased with our experiences with AC.
We originally selected AC for a variety of reasons — a good referral, the proximity, a decent vibe, but also largely due to the lower costs than many other places and options we’d considered. We spent immeasurably less than we could have to come out with two successful adoptions. We were also greatly encouraged the first time we walked in to see the hundreds of photos on the wall of successful adoptive families.
Though the staff was always honest, realistic, and caring, there were times throughout our two searches, however, when we found ourselves thinking «well, you get what you pay for» in terms of the availability of the staff/​resources. It’s a small organization, staffed by dedicated, hard-​working people who don’t necessarily have the time to do all of the hand-​holding and regular communicating you inevitably want/​need going through the process. There were times when we felt a more nurturing touch would have been welcome when struggling with issues or facing difficult decisions. No one was rude or disrespectful — just sometimes busier and a bit more brusque than two high-​maintenance guys would have hoped.
We do, however, want to give a special shout-​out to case worker Rachel Herndon, who was truly fabulous throughout our tumultuous «Round 2» journey, which was fraught with difficult situations. She made us feel respected, listened to, and cared about, whether the news was good or bad (and we had plenty of both). We want to adopt her next.
Overall, AC is a very good option for those in the area, particularly for those whose financial resources may not be as unlimited, and for gay adopters (can’t speak for the experiences of the rest of the LGBT community). We never felt uncomfortable or treated differently than any other prospective families.
Thanks to AC, we have two beautiful kids and our dream of family has been realized.

when i was a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy, the stress of my pre-​Adoption Connection experience was very overwhelming and searching for an agency that addressed my needs was exhausting.
thankfully, i came upon AC early in the process and my birth mother journey changed pretty dramatically. Adoption Connection, you see, does not favor adoptive parents over birth parents, or vice-​versa. the people who work there have a genuine interest in creating families that best serve children, and my social worker made me feel empowered to choose the perfect family for my son. she connected me with a top-​notch support group and therapist, and she made me feel safe in my decision every step of the way. on the other hand, at every phase of the process, i was reminded that this decision was mine and that i could change it at any point, so i never felt coerced or pressured to follow through with the adoption if i didn’t want to. (i’ve since learned that this is not always the case with other agencies, which is terrible!) as a result, when i placed my son into the arms of his new parents, even though it was a hard day for me, i felt strong and proud about my decision.
since my son’s birth and placement with his wonderful parents two years ago, Adoption Connection has remained an important part of my support network. i’ve since married my son’s biological father, and AC arranges visit for both of us with groups of potential adoptive parents, which gives them an important opportunity to hear about the birth parent experience and ask any questions they might have.
this really is, in my opinion, what is exceptional about Adoption Connection. they sincerely desire for all parties involved in the adoption process to have as much information as possible and to really confront any discomforts they might have. they are less of a business, in my opinion, and more of a community-​building network. they facilitate important dialogue between adult adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents, and they advise us all with the ultimate goal of creating healthy relationships between all three groups that will last a lifetime.
the result of all of these efforts is that my son is a happy, healthy child who has more love in his life than he’ll ever know what to do with. his parents are doing what they do best – being parents! and my husband and i sleep every night knowing that despite all of life’s difficulties, we never have to worry about our son, only sit back and watch him bloom.

We recently adopted through Adoption Connection (12 days ago!) and we couldn’t be happier with the experience! Each member of the AC staff staff worked hard to ensure that we understood how everything would work. They were professional, supportive and caring. From the home study to the super-​informative educational seminars to birth-​mother support, each contact we had was excellent. As a two-​dad family we felt that their support for LGBT parents was delivered naturally and without bias.
Of course, our baby didn’t come to us the week the outreach so it was a bit of a waiting game, but that was to be expected. We had a few false starts with moms that contacted us directly and Rachel and Lynne were always there to help us through it. Really… they were always there to help us and counsel us through ANYTHING! They made everything as comfortable as possible for not only us, but for our child’s birth-​mother and father as well. We are so thankful for the gift she gave us, so we were very pleased that they took the time to look after her and her well-​being during this process.
Overall, I think that Adoption Connection did an excellent job and did everything in their power to provide us with a WONDERFUL experience and a beautiful child!!! I would highly recommend them!

We were entirely underwhelmed by our experience with Adoption Connection. I would not in good conscience recommend them to anyone. We were matched with our birth family very early in the pregnancy. If I hadn’t felt like Adoption Connection could somehow have foiled our adoption, I would have written this review months ago.
Directors and co-​directors are hopelessly out-​of-​date with current technology.
*“You live in Berkeley and have a 415 area code?! How can that be?”
*“I’m 35 minutes late for this phone call because I was in the car.” Blue tooth much?
*Twice in one phone call they suggested that we use that «online Google thing»
*Minimal social media presence
Not only are they technophobes, but they are just out of sync with young birth mothers and how to reach them or communicate with them once they are in the system. Outreach services did diddlysquat for us. In 18 months the only real inquiry traffic we got were once we created are own url and used AdWords.
There was more —
*Their accounting department made multiple errors on our billing.
*Their records department/​person could not keep track of the documents in our file.
*During our wait to be matched, they never contacted us. We had to initiate every communication.
I don’t know if this is my fault for having not done more research. Maybe this is how all non-​profit agencies are and we should have gone with an attorney, but the business person in me wanted to throttle them at every interaction. They were not respectful of my time, had poor project management skills and shockingly bad interpersonal skills. I don’t think directors of an adoption agency should be patronizing to their clients, which they were on multiple occasions.
But to cap it all off, not once did we feel like anyone cared about us or our child. They have horrible people skills. Shockingly bad for individuals in this field. Our son had major medical issues at birth. Emergency delivery, air-​lift to children’s hospital, ten days in the NICU, etc. Did at any time we have compassionate support from Adoption Connection? Nope. Not once. Quite the contrary.
The only true positive in the entire experience was the social worker that did our home study. Amy Blackstone was amazing and is wisely no longer working with this agency.
Just because this agency has glowing reviews here or on Berkeley Parents Network, does not mean they are for you. Spend some real time with them before you select them.

Adoption Connection rocks! We used AC for home study, outreach and post-​placement services for domestic open adoption of our baby boy, who was recently born and placed in our home. (We’re so happy!) We would have used AC for pre-​placement services but for the fact that we were matched with a birth mother in Southern California, so we had to hire a local (custodial) agency to handle that. The contrast between AC and the So. Cal agency could not have been more striking. AC accorded themselves with professionalism, candor, empathy and respect at every juncture. Their fee-​based, a la carte pricing fit nicely with their step-​by-​step approach to the adoption process — as opposed to paying a costly, all-​inclusive «flat fee» and inundating you with information that you simply cannot retain all at once. AC’s outreach services are very good and reasonably priced. AC also provided seminars on gay and lesbian adoption and transracial adoption — both of which were very handy as we are two dads from diverse ethnic backgrounds. Additional monthly seminars are available for couples waiting to be matched — we waited for nearly a year, which is hard — and it was good to have a group available to discuss those issues. Most of all, each of the staff we dealt with at AC was calm, cool and collected — setting an appropriate, helpful tone for couples looking to grow their family through adoption. I highly recommend Adoption Connection.