MUNI – 7 Haight-Noriega

I’m not a fan of the renumbering, mainly because the new 7 is different from the old 7. The old 7 stopped at Stanyan, while the new 7 is just the old 71 with a different number but not a different non-​numeric name. I also don’t like the double names. Seven-​Haight would have been just fine, or even 7-​Noriega, although I can see how that would ruffle some major fat-​cat feathers. Do fat cats even have feathers?
It loses a star because it doesn’t run as frequently as it once did, but it regains that star because many of its buses are new, including those crazy new accordion buses with the weird seats high up on the wheel wells. Sitting in those seats makes me feel like the King of All the Realms of Munidom. Sadly, the accordion buses only show up on weekends and holidays.

7 Haight-​Noriega is a Bus Route mainly serve Noriega and Haight Street
+2 Stars for having 60ft buses during weekend.
–3 Stars for when there a delay this bus does not recover and it slow regardless of reduced stops

The only bus I know of that snakes through the whole city traveling from the Transbay Bus Terminal to the Outer boonies of the Sunset District. Waiting time can be anywhere between 30 minutes to 2 hours depending on the time of day.
Thank god for the
website to help me track when the next bus is coming for my stop. Saved me many times when the underground metro trains are clogged up or if BART went on another stupid strike.

My awesome experience came during the BART strike. It was the worst trans bay commute EVER, averaging 2.5 hours… One way. Yep.
Anyway, I was taking the 6-​Parnassus bus to work and, because of the crazy commute, I had already gone through hell getting into the city, missed my whole schedule so I was winging it, and I was getting annoyed. Then the bus broke down shortly after turning off of Market! I was like, «what the hell?!?» when a muni-​71 came to save the day. Turns out his stop is only two blocks away from where I needed to be. The driver (I can’t remember, his name but he was hella cool), stayed calm amidst all of the panicking commuters and assured them that he would let them know where to get off to keep as close to their commutes as possible.
I looked around and noticed that a good number of the people who were getting on the bus knew the driver by name and were carrying on nice, short conversations with him about their lives. I told him that I was going to tell the world about my positive muni experience, and he thanked me saying «we need it!» Hahaha he was great.
I was still 30 minutes late to work, though. Grrrrrr BART strike…

Very poor tonight guys… I got to the stop at sunset and Ortega with time to spare for a bus that was supposed to be there like 5 mins… That 5 came and went. The number on the read-​out went to 17, That came and went too. I cut my losses at near seven pm and walked to the N. I felt bad for the old folks out there in the fridged wind. It would be nice if we could trust your numbers… Or even depend on some kind of frequency.
Slippery schedules.
Note: this is a review I started on my phone 3÷6÷12 but didn’t post until just now

Muni is an adventure. I don’t blame MUNI for the miscreants that ride it and cause trouble or damage the bus. I see it as the great human equalizer. A place where the beautiful and the not so beautiful mix. They all hang on for their lives hoping to get to their desitnations in the same condition as when they boarded.
It has been on time everytime I have taken it, so no complaints. The drivers always say hello back and sometimes say hello first. I do not envy their job. Adjust your paradigm and hang on.

I give this bus line four stars because this bus line gets you faster to the Height than the 43 bus line does.

Buses on this route are generally frequent which is a good thing (+1)
I also like that there are seats available and room to stand (+1)
Great way to travel between the Outer Sunset and Downtown (+1)

OK, so this bus totally reeks of urine. And I’m not just talking about the faint smell of piss that plagues the majority of the MUNI line. It is pungent. Like a cat came and and sprayed the ENTIRE bus, and then they put it in an oven. You can taste it. It’s gnarly.
That being said, this is easily one of the most entertaining routes to take. On what other bus can I get 1.) told I look like a porcelain doll 2.) hit on by both a transient and a german tourist and 3.) learn the best spots to score both hallucinogenics AND crack in the Haight?!
That’s what I thought. This isn’t your business L Taraval line kids. This is the party bus.

Last Thursday I got visually violated on this bus. I’m still incredibly traumatized, because it was just THAT disturbing. I was sitting in the front (handicapped section) texting my friend, when suddenly I looked up and this normal looking guy around my age had his package out and was fully jerking off. His sweatshirt was covering his front just enough so that no one else could see him doing this, except for me b/​c it was directly in my eye line… and on a crowded bus it was just scary. I wasn’t sure what to do b/​c it’s never happened to me before, so I just texted my friend like WTF do I do??? Of course she had no idea either. Since then, I’ve heard I was supposed stand up, shove him and make a huge scene, as well as tell the bus driver. Well that would’ve been awkward, but hey if it happens again sure why not. Then he proceeds to try and sit next to me and I get up and bolt to the back, where I then get harassed/​hit on by this smelly crackhead. Can’t a girl get a break??? Geez. The same week, on 4/​20, a guy deliberately spits on my boots b/​c he felt like it. Really? Ew. Besides these incidents, there’s always bizarre people on this bus and a slew of piss/​beer soaked crackies. So yes, always an experience riding this particular bus.
However, I also like this bus because it’s super convenient, and it quickly gets me to the Haight from my apartment. Awesome! But seriously, every time I step on here, I just have to be prepared for the worst… and then it will be ok!

Riding the 71 reminds me of why I hate people.
That «smell» is a mixture of urine, underarm vinegar and smegma.
Nothing like having a twitchy addict sit next to you.
Most of the riff-​raff get off on Fillmore, but the new riff-​rappers board there too.
One time a screeching black teen girl boarded with super low rise pants and a hairy top butt. She accussed the old man next to her of staring at her ass and called him a «pedofire» that was a riot. She then called him a «cracker» and her friend told her to stop. She said, «that’s OK, I’m part white». The «pedofire» said, «welcome to the family.»
A lot of the nasties get off on Masonic. Most people will get off here so it’s a little better afterwards, but then occassionally a Park Bum will board at Stanyan.
Or crazy Asian shoppers hustle through the back door as you exit at Stockton or 23^rd and Irving. I push them back. I don’t care. I don’t appreciate the «moth ball rub».
My nose hairs have the smell of ass, underarm juice, smegma, urine and moth balls trapped for about an hour after I get off the 71.
Weekends are a little better, but I never rode the 71 to downtown on the weekend so maybe I missed something. Lots of hipster sluts on the weekend. Give them a PBR and maybe you will get your co^k sucked.
Two stars only because the drivers always get me to work and home in a decent amount of time compared to the muthafunking N Judah piece of crap.
I hate people.

There will always be at least 1 crackhead on this bus. Today a guy was rantin n ravin about white trash people and how terrible white people are, very entertaining to say the least.
This is a simple bus route that can get you to the Haight and the outer sunset pretty quickly comparatively speaking. I take this line from 7^th & Market to Haight & Fillmore and it takes about 10 mins.
Like all muni, it’s a little gross but it gets you where you need to be at a decent price. I recommend head phones, its always funny when you can tell who the tourist are because they are all paranoid looking, just put some music on and soak in all that muni has to offer.

This bus takes me from my girlfriends house at the Trans-​bay to my house out by the ocean, other than that I avoid it.
The last time I rode it, NextBus told me it was departing the trans-​bay in one minute so I went to get on but the driver didn’t let me on for another seven minutes. If you depart your first stop seven minutes late what do you think will happen by the time you hit the Sunset, WTF!
Avoid this but and watch your wallet because the hippies on here are bad news.

My neighborhood bus, I’ve been taking it for many years now… amazing route, terrible at sticking to schedule. It gets you all the way across the city and to many other bus/​train connections, but expect it to always be late AND it stops running too early (12:30 most nights). Typical MUNI.

Am I really reviewing a bus. Well just a little. My review:
I HATE THIS BUS!!! It is always crowded, always late, and when too full will just drive past you. During rush hour they need to always use articulated buses, which they don’t. Stay away from this one, walk to the L and get some exercise.

I like this bus so much better when everyone gets off at Haight & Masonic and leaves me with all the old, Chinese ladies. It’s all the come lately Haight st. Hip kids, and burnouts that ruin this bus for the rest of us.
Power to my Sunset local’s. 71 forever.

this is my bus! WOOT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT *raises the roof*
it comes often and it’s pretty reliable (via
, that is). once the 71 gets out of the sunset, and starts to enter the haight-​ashbury area, that’s when you get the interesting people. you see a mixture of old chinese folks and grimey panhandlers. LOVES it. i like to act like i’m minding my business listening to my ipod, when i’m really people watching and making mental notes about you in my head.
however, i do have to minus 1 star for the 71 going outbound… it’s kind of unreliable on the weekends, especially when the 71 limited isn’t running. poop to that.
either way, it’s a bus. it’s going to smell. it’s going to be a bumpy ride. you’re going to see trash of all sorts on the floor. and sometimes it’s going to come late. boo hoo… GET OVER IT. xoxo.

Thursday, December 18, 2008
Another dirty, smelly drunken bum on the bus. God, I hate riding the bus. I have had enough of my experiment to be car-​free. I don’t care how much it costs to maintain a car. I don’t care about having to pay $ 24 to park for three hours in downtown San Francisco. I don’t care about the dwindling oil supply, the price of gasoline, and carbon emissions.
Nothing will ever compel me to set foot on one of these filthy, stinking manure haulers again. No more bums; no more screaming Black teenagers; no more queue-​jumping Asians/​with/​bag/​on/​seat conversing across the aisle in eardrum rupturing diphthongs; no more cell phoners who think volume improves clarity; no more of the hygienically challenged; no more lunatics; and no more discourtesy.
Hello auto row; greetings OPEC; buenos dias downtown garage attendants. I am back, now and forever. I give up.

Don’t let the practically perfect Mary Poppins-​like rhyme of the recorded announcement fool you when you get on:
«71 Haight Noriega
to 48^th Ave. and Ortega»
I can assure you that the rest of your ride will be nothing like this. Don’t expect Mary Poppins to burst on the scene with her cartoon band posse. Instead, expect the usual MUNI shenanigans, with a little extra thrown in with love — which earns it that extra star for entertainment value.
If your destination allows you to be flexible, the 6 or 7 are usually a better bet.

Have you ever smelled someone so foul you got dizzy and skipped forward in time?
I have.
Beet-​powered jet packs in 2012. Wait for it.