U.S. Customs and Border Protection

This is the most inept grab ass I’ve seen in a long time. Get your shit together SFO.

To the short male Asian/​Chinese officer (WITH AN ACCENT) who stopped me while boarding my flight to Paris and questioned me about my job and family’s current residency location. Just to inform it is wrong of you to give people the dehumanizing stare/​dirty look because they fit a certain description of a specific ethnic background.
Also, it is not your business or the Gov’s business what i do for work, and where my family live, so this is the reason why I’ve refused to answer any of your senseless questions (my tax dollars are paid for you to protect me not to give me hard time right before boarding a plane or after exiting one). I travel often for work and i am proud Middle Eastern/​American, having said this, let’s not get into politics here and point out the blame of who is responsible for our country «U.S.A’s» horrific insecurities since 911.
This is my opinion, i think you should go back and read the constitution, you’ll discover much of what you and your colleagues do is in opposition of what it states regarding our freedom as Americans.
Thanks for Reading, and i hope things will change for the better. I know I’m not the only complaining about U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers, as well asTSAs.

We travel to a home in Los Cabos a dozen times each year. The new APC machines DOUBLED the time it took to clear customs. You already have to stand in the same long line to get to the human official at the desk. Now you are directed to machines that are slow and add another layer. Families of five were forced to enter each and every passport and answer it all five times. The agents on site were too busy helping the confused to notice there were many machines with a green light standing ready and unused. They were huddled helping at the machines since this was never really officially announced beforehand. If the machines had a light on top showing ready to receive as many department stores do they could see which machines were sitting idle. Then you go BACK into your original line to see the usual agent. That agent could have done the photo taking as before and all at once. So the govt added more money for these devices that work erratically not unlike airport check in ones do. Add nothing to security. Guess the machine maker gets rich and we get to spend more time watching visitors breeze right thru faster. And don’t bother getting the Mobile Pass on your phone. Same line. Same time. Same process. Returning US citizens face more scrutiny than the visitors we need to be watching. Typical govt fraud and waste.

not a friendly welcome by agent smith with tatoos all over his hands and arms.

Is this a place just to rant, or will someone at CBP actually read this?
Here’s my background: woman (hispanic, US citizen) traveling with her husband (caucasian with a green card) and 2 kids (6 and 3, both US citizens) from Vienna, which was an 11-​hour flight. We get off the plane and head to customs. The kids are so exhausted I stop them twice from curling up on the floor while we wait for the line to move. What’s the hold up? I look and see little computer kiosks, about 4 machines per row, with about 4 to 6 rows total. Kiosks?! It takes about 10 minutes in our snaking line to get to the kiosk. We have to scan our own passports and lift our little kids so the built in camera can take pictures of us. What the heck?! Ok, fine. We’re done, right?
Wrong. We get in another line that snakes so that we can show our printed out papers from the kiosk until we get to a person who glances at our papers and points us to another snaking line.
My kids are whining. Other people’s kids are whining. I’m ready to rip someone’s head off. Are you @#$%kidding me?!! We wait another 20 minutes to get to the booths where there are 4, (ONLY 4!!!) officers processing people. The line behind us is still huge. There are at least 20 other booths empty. Where are more officers to help? Really!
The officer was super sweet and patient with the kids; funny, even. As a matter of fact every person I came in contact with was nice enough, or even pleasant. I appreciate what the CBP is doing. I really do. But in comparison to what other country’s immigration process is like that we went through (Austria, Hungary, Switzerland, Germany), we have to jump through 10X as many hoops to get from A to B. Fine, more hoops in the US. I’ll accept that. Just make darn sure you have the staff to process people efficiently instead of having us wait 40 minutes to get through.

I had a very bad experience from the border patrol officer at SFO. This officer name «Smith» gave me attitude. He was an arrogant, rude officer and treat everyone like low life. I wish everyone file complaints against those border patrol officers treat you badly so that they would understand where is the power come from. «THE PEOPLE»

SFO is a good airport. Probably one of the few best in the country. Good food, nice services, easy access by car and transit, aesthetically pleasing. So why not 5 stars? CUSTOMS AND IMMIGRATION. You guys suck. You’re terrible.
Okay, here’s the deal. When you travel overseas, even at the smallest, crappiest airport, EVERY line for passport control is open. They may have 2, 4, or 50, but they are ALL open. This ensures that you can get through customs relatively quickly. Then you fly back and get to talk to our good friends at the TSA. SFO has 46 lines. I forget the split between Visitors and US Nationals, but there are 46 possible lines. Every time I fly back, I always wonder: «where is everyone? why are so many lines unmanned?» This past trip we flew back on Memorial Day (a busy return travel day) and there were 8 customs agents. EIGHT!!! 4 for US Nationals, 3 at automated customs and 1 for visitors… This is disgraceful. How are we portraying ourselves to the rest of the world?
Let’s go through the excuses that I heard from the ushers guiding people to the correct line:
1. It’s a national holiday: If you work retail, what days are you not supposed get off? Busy sales days… How many Best Buy employees get Black Friday off? The same should apply for travel days… if your job is to check people into the country, shouldn’t you be working on busy travel days?
1a. We flew out of Istanbul on May 19 (a national holiday in Turkey) They had AT LEAST one person at each Passport Control Line. Why? BECAUSE IT’S A BUSY DAY!
2. We’re short-​staffed: there were 8 Officers checking peoples’ passports and 7 «ushers,» (I use that term very loosely) guiding people in the right direction. here’s an idea. Fire 4 of the ushers and hire 4 more agents? there are 3 possible lines” Visitors, US Nationals and US Nationals Automated (there’s also Diplomats, but I figure if you’re a diplomat, you’d know where to go. I can’t imagine that you need more than 3 ushers. Or fire 10 of the people standing around at the security checkpoints and hire 10 more agents… just a thought.
3. We’re not a big airport, so we don’t have a big staff: Shut up, just shut up. You’re the second busiest airport on the west coast, 4^th busiest west of the Mississippi and 7^th busiest in the country (one behind that quaint little airport named after John F Kennedy in that tiny little town called New York City). You are the gateway to the financial capital of the West, portal to Silicon Valley, and the avenue through which tourists come to see the Golden Gate, Alcatraz and all of our other attractions. You are a big airport. Act like it
In other words, SFO, you are pretty cool to fly in and out of if you’re on a domestic flight. But your international arrival set up BLOWS. It is a disgrace to our nation, and should be overhauled.

So for the last few years i’ve been able to travel under an assumed identity based on my current passport. You see this was my second passport and when the folks at passport renewal decided to switch my surname and given name i’ve been lucky that everybody understands its a clerical error and not some malicious act. From time to time the airline checkin folks have caught it but let it go so i get the feeling this is quite common.
So far i’m 2 – 0 in getting back into the country thru san francisco this last time the border agent did ask me about notifying the proper resources and i admitted that i had not really bothered. So i’m hoping that when i submit my passport for renewal next time the folks will just reverse the names and everything will be back to normal.

Do you look like an Illegal Alien?
Maybe this isn’t the first thought that occurs to you when you’re dive bar crawling in SOMA, especially if you were actually born here in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, but when was the last time you came back to the U.S. from traveling abroad? A hostile encounter with U.S. Customs and Border Patrol can totally change your perspective.
According to their web site, the CBP «is one of the Department of Homeland Security’s largest and most complex components, with a priority mission of keeping terrorists and their weapons out of the U.S. It also has a responsibility for securing and facilitating trade and travel while enforcing hundreds of U.S. regulations, including immigration and drug laws».
A decade or two prior to Unilocal’s debut on Al Gore’s Internet, I spent a week in Cabo San Lucas deep-​sea fishing, drinking cervezas, and working on my tan. Because I worked so hard at drinking cervezas, I didn’t do very well with the deep-​sea fishing, but I did such an outstanding job getting tan that if you didn’t know me you’d have sworn my surname was Garcia.
It was hot enough to melt Dick Cheney’s original heart the whole time my buddy and I were in Cabo, so when it finally came time to fly home, I was wearing nothing but totally beat cut-​off denim shorts, a muscle-​t, and my trade-​mark aviator shades. All I needed was a machete in one hand and an open bottle of Cuervo Gold in the other to totally complete the picture. Unfortunately for me, the CBP Officer who asked to see my passport didn’t think my ensemble needed any additional accessories — he got what he thought was the picture right away, and had me taken into a room where I could be asked a series of Kafkaesque, seemingly random «questions»:
CBP Officer: «Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. What is your name?»
Me: «Arthur, King of the Britains»
CBP Officer: «What is your quest»?
Me: «I seek the Holy Grail!»
CBP Officer: What is the average air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
Me: «Would that be an African, or a European swallow?»
CBP Officer: «I don’t know that — AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (falls into the Gorge of Eternal Peril)
Me: (Exit, stage left)
It’s a good thing I saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail, or I’d probably still be rotting in a Mexican jail after being wrongfully deported as an Illegal Alien. Fortunately for me, Unilocal and my Droid Razr conspired to script an entirely different Customs experience the last time I returned to the U.S. from overseas.
A couple of weeks ago, I had been on Roatan (one of the Bay Islands off the coast of Honduras) enjoying its fabulous snorkeling and tropical weather. I had two major complaints about Roatan — the food was generally awful, with service so slow it made what I had previously learned to call «Island Time» on Hawaii look like what Usain Bolt sprinting at top speed with the wind at his back is to an 84 year-​old Grandmother running uphill on crutches — there’s simply no comparison. My other major complaint about Roatan is Unilocal — there isn’t any; it’s totally off the Unilocal map. No check-​ins, and (much more importantly) no reviews! Because of this, I was reduced to consulting taxi drivers, random passers-​by, and even Trip Advisor for thoughts about which restaurants to try; a highly unsatisfying experience.
After almost two weeks of no Unilocal (and no cell service, for that matter), I was decidedly ready to check-​in SOMEWHERE when we got off the plane and started to make our way through customs. With my Droid Razr clutched in my left hand as I navigated through baggage retrieval (so they can examine your luggage before you enter the country if you have something controversial to declare or if you look in any way dubious), I paused periodically to see if I could find the check-​in listing for the CBP station I was in. The combination of what I was doing, my intent expression, and my somewhat more upscale ensemble (denim cut-​offs just don’t do it for me any more) totally convinced the CBP Officer who took my Declaration form without my having to say a word; he took one look at me, smiled broadly and said «welcome back!» then pointed me toward the exit door.
The men and women of the CBP work hard to protect the people of the Unitied States from terrorist threats and illegal immigration, but they sometimes rely on instinct alone to short-​cut threat identification procedures. Be aware of this, and don’t get caught in the wheels of justice: ALWAYS Unilocal whenever possible while traveling! :-)