Bad Monkey Bistro

Stopped in here for the first time last weekend for drinks with a group of friends. It was an interesting little spot, not sure what they were going for in terms of décor and how they named it, but it’s definitely interesting.
There was a pianist there who sang, a bit too loud for a small spot like that, we had to yell to communicate at our table, and ended up only staying for one drink. The pianist was good, but definitely was a bit off for how early it was on a Friday and the crowd that was there. This place has potential to be better since they have good drinks (we didn’t get food, but the people eating around us looked like they were enjoying it) and nice staff. but something is just not quite right.

Horrible service and a lame atmosphere. We came to this place for lunch a few weeks ago and had the worst experience ever. They have one employee attempting to be the bartender and waiter for the entire place. In this location, they should have about 5 – 10 employees given the number of places of work and people looking to eat in the vicinity. After waiting for 40 minutes and not even getting water or menus we decided to leave. They should change the name to Bad Service Bistro.

I had high hopes from the beginning for this place. A lot of new growth in the SLU area. This place has potential. For lunch I’ve had various meals here and nothing has wow’ed me.
The beer tour pulled me back, but only for 2 months. Upon each visit I kept an open mind hoping the experience would get better. My app voucher was only good for a «dinner» app and couldn’t be used during my lunch visit (when apps are cheaper). I haven’t been back since, I can get the same drinks elsewhere.

Been there probably 4 or 5 times now. Won’t be going back.
The saving grace at BMB is Daniel, one of the bartenders (and possibly owners?). Really nice dude. Always happy to see us when we walk in and likes to talk.
They have a monthly beer list which offers some sort of small reward at the end of each month if you can complete it — something my roommate and I both thought was cool.
Unfortunately, that’s about it for the praises. Service is slow and the food is… not very good. I have eaten there 3 times, and the Bacon Burger was the only thing I enjoyed. One time I had the chicken strips and they were RAW in the middle. How hard is it to cook chicken strips?
Here’s what really did me in though: We were starting to become semi-​regulars, something you would imagine they would really care about considering how new the place is. I noticed that they had a coupon on
, so I bought one ($ 25 coupon). A few of us went in there and had dinner and drinks while watching a football game. I personally had a full meal, as well as 2 or 3 drinks. I think my total came to around $ 40 — definitely over the «required minimum».
The dude wouldn’t take my fucking coupon. (This was not Daniel, mind you). I have the thing out, showing it to him, and he’s like, «nope, you had drinks, this is for dinner only». I’m like, look man, I just had dinner with some drinks. If I had gotten dinner plus a glass of milk, would you tell me the milk didn’t count?
I couldn’t believe it. I paid for my meal and won’t ever go back.

Beware, this place is not what it seems.
We came in on the weekend and the nice owner greeted us and was very nice = +1
But they don’t have a cook on the weekends. What? We drove all the way there to find out it’s just an empty bar with a pool table. It seems like a nice space, but it shouldn’t be advertised as a restaurant if it doesn’t serve food most of the time. Again, the owner was nice but I got the feeling that he’s not optimistic about this restaurant’s prognosis.

Thank you, Bad Monkey Bistro.
For sucking.
My coworker and I were excited to try out your food — pastas! Sandwiches! Burgers! All with descriptions that made our mouths water.
And then we got our meals.
Hmm…
Pesto pasta that consisted of soggy bread over a bed of bland, undercooked, noodles. There was hardly any pesto on the noodles and a glob of some unidentified cheese substance melted over the top. I can’t tell you how much salt & pepper I had to put on it to give my meal any flavour at all.
I wound up not finishing it. Hello compost pile.
My friend had the monkey ball pasta — again, bland noodles mixed in a red cream sauce that was also bland.
She said the «monkey balls», which were meatballs, tasted like peppery burgers disguised as meatballs.
Sounds pleasant, no?
Sorry BMB, we thought we’d give you a shot and we did. And now we know.
Can’t do it.
Second lunch FAIL of SLU in a span of 2 months.
…sigh…maybe I’m not meant to work out here.

What great addition to South Lake Union!
This fabulous boutique venue located just off the main road serves good drinks and great food. I always look forward to my next trip!
Check out the happy hour and the root chips! Nachos are fabulous as well.
Happy Fooding!

Don’t bother with this place…
I’ve had better and friendlier service at dive bars that served microwaved corn dogs. The waitress seemed confused as to whether she should give us anything (like silverware or offer condiments) or stand around and bullshit with the bartender. She finally relinquished the napkins and forks 5 minutes AFTER I had my food, AFTER I had to ask for them and yet still several more minutes BEFORE my boyfriend’s food showed up.
The food is overpriced for the quality. We started with the calamari ($ 7) and I was surprised first to see that the portion was quite small and while some pieces were friend to a golden brown, the rest was under fried and soggy. I had the cheeseburger (+bacon $ 9.75) and the only thing I can say was decent about it was that it was well seasoned. The patty was too small in diameter and much too thick, but this was probably done to better fit the tiny Safeway-​style bun it was served on. OH, and if you order the burger off of the bar menu it does NOT come with fries.
The atmosphere was decent except for the blaring piano music and screechy vocals coming out of the «piano lounge.» I couldn’t even hear the conversation I was having and the tone deaf quality of the piano player’s voice made me want to deafen myself with the fork I had to beg for.
Finally, 20 minutes after we were done eating what we could stomach and after we’d told the waitress we were quite through we were accosted by the final bill. 1 cocktail, 1 appetizer, 1 bar menu item, and 1 dinner menu item. In total, 40 dollars totally wasted.*
This place is polished about as well as their website menu:
*Note: I am more than happy to pay top dollar for quality service and food but this place had neither. BAD monkey bistro, indeed!

Food was good. I had the chicke marsalla. Tender and tasty, but nothing too special.
Great atmosphere. Loved the music. Had a good musician there that night. First time going to a place like this. Will definitely come here again.
They make good dirty vodka martinis and potato chips. Try the chips!

Reminded me of a place I used to frequent in AZ once in a while. Still unsure how i felt about this place even as I write this review.
There was a singer performing when we went in on a Thursday night– was okay, not my style. Drinks were tasty. The place has potential.
I did love the monkey décor… but that’s because I am obsessed with those lil guys.

Great place to go for lunch in South Lake Union. I’ve been here a number of times. The mac and cheese is quite excellent, and their burgers are fantastic as well.
Edit 03/​27/​2011 — Went there with some co-​workers (party of 3) for lunch and was charged an automatic gratuity of 18%. That’s some BS — docking 1 star from my review.

Best piano bar in all of South Lake Union.
On to the other parts about this bistro that are only saved by the fact that this is by far the BEST piano bar in all of South Lake Union.
Prices are pretty low, and every other thing on their menu seems to be cooked with «rock lobster.» Can someone please tell me what that is? If you like it you are going to be very happy ordering here.
Anyway, I was delighted to see that poached pear was on the menu. (Cue disappointed, pregnant pause.) It was too soft a poached pear for my liking, and something about it reminded me of canned pears from my elementary school brown bag lunch days. (I admit to being fond of those days, so note this is only negative in my adulthood. Maybe a good one for the chilluns?)
I don’t eat «land» meat but the Mister (the unmarried kind. my boyfriend. that is.) ordered chicken that looked and smelled delicious! I’ll let him speak for the meat eaters when he says that it tasted like it was «approaching the chicken limit.» Take that as you will.
Service was really slow too. But poor guy (s), there were two of them serving the entire establishment – which was surprisingly well populated given the circumstances (Friday night on Boren and Harrison in Cascade) (I said it).
I fully support my neighborhood and neighborhood businesses. Of consequence I will repeat that any musician who entertains me with Cat Stevens, Pink Floyd and Billy Joel at the piano is a maestro in my mind. Enjoy the entertainment (but maybe not the furnishings – or lack thereof), the ambiance, order a drink, but pass on the entrees at the best piano bar in South Lake Union (I counted — I state this three times).

Service was outstanding, food was brilliantly prepared and served, atmosphere was very relaxed (spoke to many people and they felt comfortable joining in our conversation), prices were very acceptable and the smiles of the staff and the knowledge of those position is worth a visit in and of itself. You really should try this bistro, you won’t have regret! :)

It’s an interesting environment but the food is well below average. I was really excited to see a new restaurant opening in South Lake Union, and the atmosphere was certainly promising. The food was undercooked and really bland.
Won’t be going back.

+1 for Moose Drool on tap
Friendly staff, good chicken sandwich. I wasn’t a fan of their fries on the day I went — they seemed smallish and overcooked.
It’s a smaller place, with room for maybe 80 – 90. Outside looks like an older office building, but inside has just the right amount of lighting.

New spot in South Lake Union that totally rocks! Went for some dinner and jazz on a Thurs. night – great food, great music, good vibe, good prices. The piano has a clear top on it that extends past the piano like a bartop, so you can sit right at it and be up close and personal with the music. Or, you can rent the private room with leather couches, fireplace and TV for a quieter evening. Or, you can hang at the bar and watch sports on TV – but never fear, this place does not have that typical sports bar feel – the bar has a solid slab of granite for its countertop! I mean, how many bars have you been to with a granite countertop? It’s a classy place with a relaxed atmosphere. I had the Chickopolis and a house salad – really, really good. Overall, fantastic place. Free street parking after 6. Ask Daniel, the owner about plans for an outdoor patio next year – can’t wait!

Quaint little bar/​restaurant in the heart of South Lake Union. The service is great, the owner actually comes out and chats with us when we go in for lunch. I have ordered both sandwiches and salads and they have always been great. The steak salad has been my favorite. During happy hour I order a beer and root chips and come out spending no more than 7 dollars. So it is a good place to stop in and have a drink or meal. The meals are reasonably priced between 6 and 10 dollars (Lunch).

Bland interior design, good service, and the worst «macaroni and cheese» I have ever had.
I am all about giving new places the benefit of the doubt, but after lunch today I do not see myself returning to Bad (as in really bad food) Monkey (a Monkey could cook better).
The interior design is about as bland as the food, really boring and safe. They have a piano and pool table which could make happy hour and the evenings better than the scene at lunch.
The server was attentive and did a good job. Nothing special unless you are comparing the quality of the service with the quality of the food.
I made the mistake of ordering their Mac and Cheese, which is typically a fool proof dish even for the worst chefs. Hopefully the remainder of their menu is better or I do not see this place lasting another 6 months. The Mac in this «Mac and Cheese» is Penne Pasta which is terribly overcooked and under seasoned. The Cheese is supposedly a «cream sauce’ of White Cheddar, Provolone, Gruyère, and roasted garlic, but what I received was a slightly warm layer of stringy cheese which sat on top of a bowl of unseasoned penne mixed with unseasoned, completely flavorless Rock Lobster, all of this was topped with an equally tasteless pile of «fried shallot bread crust» the only way I was able to make this dish edible was to drench the entire mess with Tapatio. THANK GOD BAD MONKEY STOCKS DECENT HOT SAUCE.
I love that Seattle is becoming an increasingly better foodie town, but Bad Monkey terribly misses the mark.

Had brunch on Saturday. Kind of wish a larger menu was available as it was in the afternoon and only breakfast items seemed to be available.
I had the Eggs Benedict over crab cakes. It was pretty good but I kind of wish for meatier Dungeness crab cakes. I expected it to be a bit saltier, so I ended up adding quite a bit of hot sauce.
I might add a star if Portage Bay wasn’t down the street. Also probably much better when there is live music.
I didn’t ask, but looks like street parking which is metered (vending stations issuing window stickers I mean) in this part of town.

Went there for the first time today with the 3 Js. Arrived right after the live piano music ended BUT right when Happy Hour started.
Their drinks are strong & affordable. Amaretto Sour tasted more Disaronno than mix– JRY agreed that her G n T was more Gin w/​splash of tonic. Yum! HH had $ 4 glass of red/​white, $ 3 beers sans Stella and some other deal on wells (sorry, tired, up for past 18+hrs).
We had the following bar food items:
Simply calamari: Lightly battered w/​fresh dill tartar sauce
Crab lollipops– Mini sized crab cakes served on bamboo skewers. JY said pretty tasty.
Nachos of root chips w/​steak: Mandolin thin housemade root veggie chips topped w/​nacho condiments of kidney beans, guac, sour cream & thin slices of flank steak
Bowl of divinity (? title): Penne pasta w/​pesto (housemade sauce. two other choices of housemade sauces, one being alfredo, don’t recall other)
Monkey wings: Crispy fried 12 pieces of chicken wings w/​choice of 4 sauces. Took server’s suggestion of the harissa aioli = great combo.
Neopolitan ice-​cream atop chocolate chip cookies
Would definitely go back again to experience live music (Thurs-​Sat, 9pm-​11pm). Plenty of street parking. Bathrooms are clean/​spacious. Lots of light PNW décor. Piano is glass topped w/​stools for customers to be up close. Two wide flat screen TVs airing sports. Also glass offed private area that could prolly hold max cap of 24. Other parts of bistro houses a pool table & couple video game machines.
*Easiest to drive along Fairview, head West on Harrison for approximately 1.5 blocks, Bistro on your right.