Send It Home

Everybody knows you can’t take a knife on a plane.
But not everybody remembers that they have a knife on them when they go to the airport.
This is how I got here.
I showed up armed, as usual, with my knife… that I totally forgot I had on me and had stuffed inside a bag inside a bag inside a bag that went through security only to get caught by the x-​ray vision machine or whatever the thing is called that looks at your stuff that isn’t your swimsuit parts.
Oops.
I definitely just forgot I had it on me and that I needed to put it back in my checked bag but it didn’t help my situation that it kind of looked like I tried to conceal it in a million different bags… which wasn’t at all what I was trying to do, I just like bags a lot and often carry several inside of each other (like a fetus but with bags) so even on the go I can be a hoarder.
So anyway, I got the big search of my stuff a few times until they found my knife/​I realized that I’d left it in my smaller backpack. The stern woman going through all my sh*t let me know I could leave the knife with them forever (my nightmare) or leave the security line, go back outside and mail it to myself for a fee. Eep. I’ve heard of these fee things being upwards of $ 75 so I was nervous, but my knife is a nice one and worth about double that so in my head I was already prepared to fork it over when she told the fee was $ 12.
$ 12?! No problem! That’s like, all my savings at this juncture in my life but totally worth it to save my knife.
So I left security and went back to the outskirts of the airport to mail the thing. The instructions weren’t that difficult but there’s def a few steps that the stern security agent walked me through like 3 times because I don’t know… probably because I was gloriously hungover and had a dumb face on.
As I stood at the little mailing kiosk filling out my info I thought about how there was still a good chance I’d never see my beautiful knife again and that I’m about to give this alleged company a real easy way to steal my credit card info by writing it on the paper form they supply, but in the moment it was a chance I was willing to take.
I figured that if I got my knife back at all I’d be lucky but that it would probably takes weeks and weeks but to my surprise the knife ended up back at my apartment less than 4 business days after I’d mailed it. Pretty impressive.