Twin Peeks Two

Dinner and nudity go together like, well, dinner and nudity.
The Treasurer of my cricket club decided we’d go to a strip club /​restaurant (perhaps it’s a restaurant /​strip club, who’s to say?) for our traditional end of season meal, which made the single men happy and the married men happier. Or nervous, it can be hard to tell between a smile and a grimace when the light its low.
The original Twin Peeks is in Woolloomoolloo apparently, with this offshoot held in the much-​loved Vanguard Theatre in Newtown (closed to the public that night, obvs). There’s a stage and a catwalk and in between entrée and main lingerie-​clad women hang out and chat and serve drinks, and every half an hour or so there’s a strip show on the big stage.
You know that table at a Chinese restaurant that’s filled with douchebags and they’ve spilled sauce all over the tablecloth and they can’t understand why it serves Diet Coke but not normal Coke and everyone in the restaurant hates them? Yeah, that was pretty much our tables, most of the lads had been at the races all day and were three sheets to the wind… two hours in our tablecloth had been changed twice due to red wine spillages, one guy was on a warning for taking photos (forbidden), another — the one in the sombrero with the eyes that couldn’t focus — was in trouble for touching one of the girls, and most of the women were united in hatred against our entire corner of the theatre. To their immense credit the girls were friendly and professional to a fault, even though they must have been sahhh glad to see the back of us. Well, most of us. Some of the team never made it out, god only knows what happened to them.
Overall, it’s a very fun & friendly night out (as opposed to sleazy, which is a big plus). We’ll probably be voting in a new Treasurer next year, but hey, we’ll always have Twin Peeks Too.