A La Facon de Shimizu

A La Facon de Shimizu is like a smoking hot half-​Japanese, half-​European exchange student that’s just moved in next door but is being home-​schooled so you are, like, *literally* the only person that knows her.
She’s exotic yet dorky, sultry yet awkward and her command of the English language is both earnest and comical. Sound diametrical? I could use some fancy language to explain further but I believe the menu says it best:
Scallop & kiwifruit carpaccio ($ 17)
Tempura Camembert ($ 15)
Red wine braised eel ($ 23)
Seaweed spaghetti ($can’t remember)
Green tea crème brûlée ($ 9)
Each dish is either a thrilling win or an achingly disappointing-​. .. I want to say «failure» here but Shimizu’s owners and staff are so sweet and fragile I simply can’t, so instead I’m gonna say, oh, I don’t know. .. «non-​win».
But I’ll be back. The combination of bizarre and sexy is a powerful musk. Plus I’m kind of claiming her because I found her first and she’s mine, you hear me? So don’t look at her, don’t speak top her, don’t even go near her with your hungry eyes and your grubby paws you filthy slimeballs, I own her and she’s MINE!