Cafe Consort

Fillet of salmon served with (basil purée, roasted vegetables) as main course and Plum crumble tart (ginger crème Anglaise) as dessert were very delicious. Atmosphere was pleasant and service very friendly. Café Consort is located in Royal Albert Hall. Price meet very good food quality and is hence on average.

It’s a long one folks! In short, avoid, unless you enjoy being part of a sadistic farce! Shockingly bad. From the moment we arrived the kitchen and waiters were yelling at each other and about 90% of other tables were complaining But let’s get to that later! Service was very slow. Waiting staff did not appear to know how to take an order, or want to approach customers when they were ready. We only ordered one course, as we wanted to make sure there was enough time before the show. This took at least 25 minutes to arrive. Lincolnshire Sausages with Champ arrived as one tiny curled Cumberland, undercooked and turdlike, on a tiny squirt of wet mash with a few green specks. A fish curry was made with leftover or old fish from another dish, and tasted like it came from a tin, and included curled up and dried vegetables, maybe the previous day’s, and missing crispy shallots. Poached Salmon with salad of baby gem, new potatoes and spring onions was dry fish with a couple of non little gem leaves, minus any sign of a potato. Considering these were all over £10 the quality and value was exceedingly poor. The mains were so small that we asked for dessert. We waited another 20 minutes, in which it transpired that all desserts we had asked for had run out. Two of the party ordered cheese selection with wheat wafers and quince jelly, and after a long wait they were presented with two cheese sandwiches. We had originally ordered three rhubarb crumble desserts and one polenta cake, none of which arrived and, surprise surprise, all of which appeared on the bill. Which we had to ask for a number of times, as disinterested servers walked past dumping dirty cutlery. Two of the party were sneezed on by a waiter and had liquids land in their hair. One of these also had a male server’s bottom pushed into their cheek and shoulder as he tried to let people go past him. Neither of these were apologised for. It wasn’t just us having problems. The table next to us had a side order of bread with soup arrive comically late, after the soup was finished and all other mains were eaten. No apology was offered. The table to our left was missing two mains, which arrived again very late after all diners had finished eating. The party complained and were offered a free cup of tea, but this had ruined their dinner as they did not have time for dessert. They asked to see a senior manager and were fobbed off. They ended up walking out. Another table were given desserts but no cutlery, they spent 10 minutes trying to catch the attention of someone willing to give them a spoon! Servers did not appear to know what table was what (despite them all having numbers), or even if orders were correct. Many tables were offered food that they did not order and one poor salad ended up going around the room three or four times. Presumably it found a home, or a dog, to be fed to in the end! £65 for four main courses and a soft drink each, not even worth £6. It is sad that we did not enjoy this experience at all as there is obviously the opportunity and captive audience in the locality. It would be good for the café to consider training servers in basic customer service, and senior staff in problem solving. It would also help to be more flexible and understanding when there are problems, and if you are going to dress up the food with overblown descriptions, it should live up to customers’ expectations! As another diner has remarked, you will get better service and better food at any kind of greasy spoon, or even a McDonalds. Please consider your patronage of this poor offering, and take a short walk down Exhibition Road as there are plenty of lively and interesting cafes to eat in, where you will actually enjoy your food! (Paper Tiger not included)

Organising a brief meeting around High Street Kensington is not easy. In east London or Fulham you conveniently find a quiet cosy coffee place — around Kensington it has to be searched for.
But most conveniently and elegant placed at Royal Albert Hall we found a coffee, which has the quality of a Starbucks coffee (my favourite is Costa though) but the ambiance of a quiet and chic restaurant.
We arranged the meeting in the morning, therefore everything was pretty much empty. Not sitting there for long a band started their auditions there. Playing, practicing and signing — soon the room was filled with music. Not ideal for a meeting however, the quality of their almost private performance was fantastic and an experience for itself!
I am sure there are also taking concerts place in a more casual café atmosphere… We were early (10pm) and therefore the band was preparing for a show!
If you have difficulties finding it — walk all around the Royal albert hall — it is door 12 — at the bac k of the building!