Screw Your Resolutions Elite Event at Gibson

(Open infomercial with Product spokesperson voice-​over on still shots of space, followed by earth, then microwave, then a DVR, then back to earth. A hushed version of opening of the theme from «2001: A Space Odyssey» plays quietly in the background)
(product spokesperson)
«Ok, so in my mind, the absolute greatest inventions in the WORLD are those that help break the time/​space continuum. Think about this for a second; the Microwave oven… the DVR… the telephone… and I could go on — but I think you get the picture. These things not only make life just a little bit better but save you TONS of time — so that you can spend more time enjoy livin’ life. No doubt, these are the absolute best inventions in the whole wide world!!»
(Cue the array of fabulously fun and candid event shots from Alison Narro, voiced over by product spokesperson)
«Wonderful events — like the one incubated by the Delightful Kelly S. and intern Lauren and hosted by the great staff at the Gibson Bar — are a great example of where we could all use a NEW INVENTION. This EXCLUSIVE TECHNOLOGY has been TOP SECRET — UNTIL NOW. Beginning TODAY — we have decided to go ahead and share these secrets with YOU… FOR ONE DAY ONLY!»
(continues to display shots from Alison Narro)
«How many of you would like something that allows you more time to chat and connect in thoughtful, unhurried conversation over drinks and apps when time is tight? With so many cool Unilocaler peeps in attendance — and so little time to chat them up — this product would be a ‘…Gold Mine, I gotta tell ya!!!’ (ala Marc Katz). Stretching a slim 2 hour window into 4+ hours on fabulous January day in Austin would be just about right, AND would be absolutely priceless!»
(display 1 – 800 number to call)
(display shots of women with cake dresses, assorted beverages and Unilocal schwag)
«Not convinced? What if the extra time afforded allowed you another taste of the great libations from Three Olives Cake & Naked Vodkas OR — my personal fave — more Real Ale products — like their Lost Gold IPA, Fireman’s #4, Coffee Porter, or Rio Blanco Pale Ale. Now, HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?»
(display 1 – 800 number to call)
(display shots of trailer food from Luke’s)
«BUT THAT’s NOT ALL… If you call TODAY, we will throw in one week’s supply of our metabolism enhancer! With the extra time and boozin’ you’ll be doing, you need to eat more. With this handy supplement, you can now slip in another plate of the delectable pork buns or flat bread goodness (compliments of Luke’s Inside Out) — or perhaps down just one more cake ball from SugaPlump Pastries = GUILT FREE! NOW do you you get the picture?»
«But WAIT… THERE’S MORE…
«if you are one of the first 200 callers, we’ll actually also throw in a second detachable liver !!!» (…now sounding a LOT like Billy Mays).
«So now that you see how this new product can help make Unilocal events and day drinking on a Sunday even better — IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE ACTION… SO DON’T WAIT .»
(displays 1 – 800 number to call)
«CALL NOW– Operators are standing by to take your call!!»
(Fade to black). Fini.

Mr. Smidgens doesn’t usually make New Year Resolutions, but when he does he Screws them proper!
Kelly,
My hat goes off to you for yet another inside out pork bun, cake vodka, delicious cake balls, picture taking event!
To all the Elite Unilocalers I got to see and introduce my lovely +1 Robynn G., it was great to see you all. It was funny because everyone kept saying, «Robynn? Oh yes, the girl from the Facebook picture!»
So, we added that to Robynn’s name tag.
As always Mr. Smidgens had his fill of libations and sustenance.
Mwahhh!!!

Screwing has never been more fun! Typically when I screw, I don’t surround myself with so many people. Luckily, I knew most of the people. The ones I did NOT know were still subjected to my screwing…
This event enlightened me in many ways…
— Cake Vodka and soda tastes just like cream soda.
— My affinity for balls (refer to my Love Balls review) apparently extends to cake balls.
— I don’t know this Luke fella, but his buns are wonderful.
— Ignoring my self imposed two drink limit, I learned I really have no self control.
— Gibson Bar is a pretty cool place with a nice patio and awesome staff.
— The after parties are always an exercise in hedonism.
— Lee M is not a redneck. He is a hillbilly. Big difference.
— Ashley S towers above me.
— Many people I am friends with in person are not actually Unilocal (online) friends… crazy!
— Kelly is one bad ass party organizer!
— Unilocalers truly are a breed all their own.
It’s events like these that keep me active. I would be sad to miss these fantastic shindigs. I now have a new destination for when I want to venture to North San Antonio…

Ohhh my resolutions were screwed — ambushed even. Pillaged. Plundered. Left for dead. A crime with several players involved, but orchestrated single-​handedly by the inimitable Kelly.
I ran and kneeled before my bruised, beaten diet, tears streaming down my face. «Cake balls,» my diet coughed, eyes shut hard against the memory, «the lemon-​flavored ones. …And, and vodka… so much.» I didn’t know what to say, the moment was so poignant. My heart filled with sadness for my diet, once so strong and virile, looking now like a broken-​down piñata at a 3 year-old’s birthday party.
«Sweet bun pork tacos!» screeched my diet. And just like that, it was over. My diet, finally at peace, stopped struggling against death, taking with it only it’s panache.

The best part of Elite Events is not having to coordinate the who, what, where and when, that’s up to the beautiful and amazing Kelly S.
Thanks to Three Olives and Real Ale and of course Gibson bar for a great afternoon on the town. I can officially say I’ve had Cake Vodka.
It was great to see everyone and although I didn’t get to enjoy any of the snacks they sure looked tasty!
I’m glad we have a new intern, too. The old ones were getting sloppy.
Thanks, Unilocal and Kelly S., for another knock yer socks off event!!!

What a fun event. Like that we’re mixing it up with location, day, and time. I had plenty of time to enjoy my Sunday, catch up with some Unilocalers, some of whom I had already seen three or four times that week, some of whom I had not seen since the last official party, and meet some yet-​unmet-​Yelpers.
The Pineapple Upside Down Cake Cocktail with the Three Olives Cake Vodka, pineapple juice, and amaretto was really, really sweet and really, really good. I was kind of sad today to not have any cake vodka to go with my afternoon Dr. Pepper: Dr. Pepper Cake Cocktail? Heck yeah! Need to stop by Spec’s!
The Real Ale Lost Gold IPA, was another pleasant surprise and another thing to add to the Spec’s list. I liked the food, though I didn’t really get to chow down. As always, the best part is hanging out with the fellow Unilocalers. And getting my picture taken in ridiculous wigs. And free booze. But mostly the Unilocalers…

Note to self: never, EVER attend a Unilocal Elite event without having eaten first. Yesterday morning I felt like I had been hit by a truck. a big, red, boozy truck.
As usual, Kelly picked the perfect venue and rounded up the perfect sponsors. Real Ale was flowing like water and although I was too stupid to try any of the food, it looked and smelled delicious.
And as usual, a whole slew of Unilocalers were nicer to me than I ever deserved, whether I was bitching about my personal life (sorry Noelle) or bumming rides for my inebriated ass. Seriously, between the two of them I owe Quani and Darla like 8,372 rides. Someday I’ll likely repay them by vomiting in their backseats. (Just kidding ladies, I would definitely use my own purse as a vomit receptacle before puking on your upholstery.)
Mad props to the f*ckin’ fabulous Elite crew.

The power of Unilocal is a curious thing
Make one regular Unilocaler weep, make another Elite sing
Change a crabby LO to a girl with a glow
More than a feeling that’s the power of Unilocal
Something about walking into the Gibson and seeing friends old and new, scoring delicious buns and cheesecake apps from Luke’s Inside Out without having to tackle anyone who got in my way, making a quick stop in Alison Narro’s photo booth with Gabe and Errol, then ordering a tasty Three Olives vodka drink from the awesome bartenders all within the first ten minutes had a way of turning this girl’s crabby frown upside down. Top that off with copping a feel on Veek, then Jack making my face turn three shades past red, seeing my lovelies Ellen, Lisa and KK, and catching up with Dr. X; I didn’t think things could get any better. Then I got my hands on a couple of those tasty cakeballs from SugaPlump; I was hooked. (Lucky for me, my awesome BFF/+1 hooked me up with his prized gift certificate so I could score myself more cakeballs!)
My Sunday was happily complete.
You don’t need money (well, except a few singles), don’t take fame (just your shiny Eliteness)
Don’t need no credit card to ride this train
It’s strong and it’s sudden and it’s crazy sometimes
But it might just make your day
That’s the power of Elites
Feel the power of Unilocal

I’m sure the highlight of the event for Gabriel H. was not the presence of cupcake-​princess vodka reps, nor the delicious Coffee Porter, or even the pork sandwiches…
No, I think the highlight for Gabe was getting sprayed in the face by a shot of vodka as I could not contain my laughter seeing the, «Amber’s Bitch» name tag still stuck to the back of my date (unbeknownst to him). I think that particular moment is gonna stay wtih him.

This was my first Austin elite event and coming from Houston, I was confused as to why the event would be on a Sunday but it ended up being a Sunday Funday indeed. The party was so great that it even inspired me to party all night! So congratulations Unilocal,you have successfully screwed my resolution of actually being a decent employee at work.
I’ll review in the order that I experienced the event so naturally, booze comes first. Three Olives Cake Vodka was very unique and definitely added some fun to the party… the pop rocks + cake vodka shots were just FASCINATING! I loved the cake girls and especially loved their dresses, I wonder how I can get my hands on one and more importantly… if I have what it takes to wear it out on the town.
Luke’s Inside Out was some of the best nourishment imaginable with plentiful pork buns and those awesome cheesecake thingys. The cake balls were tempting but I didn’t want to screw my resolutions that badly.
Gibson was a great host, the bartenders were fast as hell and I loved the outdoor patio although the heaters were making my face red so I kept getting shit about Asian glow, buncha haters. I loved the giant Connect Four and the knock-​off Jenga set — Jumbling Tower™ is going to make it big one day!
Alison Narro was a great photog and she gets bonus points for spelling her name the same as mine, high-​five!

5 stars for The Beautiful People (that’s you).
These 2 hours capped off one Perfect Sunday. I tend to energize by actively engaging with others, and this certainly did the trick. It’s been quite some time since I’ve had the chance to chat with a lot of you, I should remedy that. Got to catch up in a relaxing but highly captivating setting with stimulating characters alongside gracious hosts. Met many new faces, including our new Unilocal intern Lauren *applause* Had the opportunity to reminisce about Unilocal events of olde in 2007 and wax historical about founding members who’ve since moved on to different chapters in their lives.
For those I’ve known a while: let’s keep the magic going.
For those I’ve befriended: I can tell this will be the beginning of a beautiful 2012.

What a way to pop my pseudo cherry. Great food, people, and most of all, BOOZE! I am really glad I had a chance to make it out and finally put faces, and in some cases, boobs to a name. Not that I was staring, I swear I was only looking for name tags :)
Special Shout Outs to Lukes, the food was the bomb diggity. Three Olives and Real Ale, both liquid bravery kept the party going and the laughs rolling.
And special thanks to Kelly, you really made a newcomer feel welcome, sniffle sniffle, I got teary eyed =)
I look forward to getting to know everyone else i didn’t get a chance to «meet» look forward to what the rest of 2012 has to offer!

What an awesome way to spend a beautiful afternoon! And the slightest thought of self control went out the window when I stepped into Gibson Bar. Gibson Bar is so awesome– with plenty of seating and a huge outdoor area where you can mingle with other Yelers and their +1s. The bartenders were friendly and efficient and I happily indulged in one too many elixir of the Gods.
Who could resist the temptation of Three Olives Cupcake Vodka shots, especially when they are being delivered to you by beautiful, tiara-​wearing ladies in cupcake dresses? Leave your machismo behind; the pretty pink Cupcake Vodka shots made even the brutest men’s pinkies turn upwards. Mixed with pineapple, cranberry juice and soda, it smells just like a pineapple upside down cake, very dangerous indeed. Since I’ve signed up to screw my resolutions, I might as well go all the way. Real Ale’s Pale Ale provided the perfect spacer in between cupcake shots. The beer was smooth, with a hint if bitterness and a great contrast to the sweet cupcake drinks.
The food was equally standout! The cake balls from SugaPlump was so decadent. The chocolate coating was smooth and the interior was very moist, perhaps due the the Patron infusion. Luke’s Inside Out’s buns were tasty. The use of Chinese steam buns as a vessel to carry the Tex Mex style pork filing earns some creative points.
It was fun to see old friendly faces as well as meet new ones. The Unilocal Austin community rocks thanks to Kelly S. and her sidekick Lauren B. Also thanks to Alison Narro for capturing the priceless moments.

How to start? I want to say, «I love you guys!» but that doesn’t seem very useful, funny, or cool. It’s just that my heart is bursting with joy after spending time with so many of my favorite people on Unilocal (or anywhere). Conversation is always stimulating and smile-​inducing at an Elite event and this one at the Gibson was right on par. What a nice way to start the new year!
My non-​Yelper +1 and I arrived fashionably late at 4:30, so the house was full as we walked in. First we greet the fantastic Ms. Kelly S, then down 2 Three Olives pineapple upside down cake shots (mmm, pretty pink confection). Next to the Suga Plump cake balls, then for a round of vodka cocktails, and then to flit around the venue chatting with the friendliest, most thoughtful people in town.
New things I learned:
–Kimberly K has warm hands and smells wonderful
–Alicia K is the coolest physics teacher you’ll ever meet
–Ashley S has fabulous taste in shoes
–Jason L is a sweetheart who won’t let you go hungry if he has a plate to share
Things I already knew, confirmed:
–Kelly S. is the hostess with the most-​est
–Veek-​n-​Jack are the nicest folks both online and in person
–Errol knows everyone
In our mere 90 minutes on site, we were able to experience almost every position in the venue, from the comfy back deck to the little two top tables to the big round booths and the bar itself. The décor and vibe is laid back Austin, a little punk, a little rockabilly, a little weird (in that good way). Service was brisk and friendly. The Gibson seems like the kind of place that I’d visit on a weekly basis if I didn’t live up in BFE (78 727).
Chef Luke himself served us some tasty little pulled pork buns with an amusing side dish of marinated grapes doused in crema and pop rocks. I only wish I had been able to get outside to the Inside Out trailer for one of those soft shell crab specials!
We wrapped up our experience by drinking a delicious Real Ale Firemans #4, winning free passes to Carnaval Brasileiro (eee!), and drifting across the street to continue our Mama’s Night Out.
I *will* be back in the gym this week. I will be back in the gym this week. I will be back in the gym this week…

Screwing your resolutions on a Sunday at the church of Unilocal.This has Austin written all over it, and what’s not to like?
I got to wear a Three Olives Vodka tiara while sipping their libations and sampling a yummy pork pun from Luke’s Inside Out. And if that were not enough, there were Chocolate with, OMG, Patron, cake balls from SugaPlump Pastries. It was a religious experience in the making.
There were folks imbibing in the offerings of Real Ale, but it was hard to tell if they had Lost Gold IPA, Firemans #4, Coffee Porter, or Rio Blanco Pale Ale, because the bottles were clothed in Unilocal koozies.
The Gibson Bar is the perfect place to mix and mingle with their cozy indoor bar and airy back patio complete with heaters to keep the crowd warm.
There was no sermon or an offering here, instead, Gibson bar shared their weekly events and invited us back to Mustache Mondays, Tuesday Trivia, Wine and Cheese Wednesday, Bubbles and Bitches, and Thursday Bingo Night. Kelly gave back with drawing prizes for Carnival and gift certificates for SugaPlump Pastries.
There were walking cupcakes with vodka samples and what happens at an elite event never stays at the elite event, because Alison Narro photography was there capturing it all.
Kelly S. is the hostess with the mostess and has pulled off yet another fantastic event.
Your grandma’s church, this AIN’T… A great way to spend a Sunday afternoon in a community of Unilocal elite… Definitely.

After a chaotic holiday schedule and missing several months worth of events, I was feeling a bit out of touch with Unilocal.Well, that all ended yesterday. I was definitely touched by Unilocal,starting early with getting an ass pinch while bending over my nametag, then on to what seemed like hundreds of full body hugs from my peeps that I haven’t seen in soooo loooong (at least two months!), to ending with having another of my favorite Unilocalers slowly, lovingly laying claim to my left boob with her name badge. WOW! How could this not rate 5 stars??!
Unilocalers do make the event, but in this case the physical barriers were dropped by tons of Three Olives vodka and free beer (sorry NOT to name drop here, but beer is not my thing). It doesn’t hurt that we were all waxing poetic about balls too… SugaPlump’s sinfully, luciously delicious balls. I was sorry to miss Luke’s buns but they just weren’t on my diet. What? I had to make exceptions for vodka and balls… hmmm, booze, balls and buns… ingredients for a great party!
All that must be why I found myself engaged in conversations of Unilocal orgies (which Mr Dr X and I decided were getting kinda old really) and the merits of vegatarianism vs vagetarianism (altho I don’t see why you can’t be both…).
All that subliminal hotnass going on and I didn’t even realize it (and a great way to introduce my new friend, Tonya P, to Unilocal!).
Kelly, you’re a genius! Will you plan my next swinger party???

A great way to start 2012, Kelly. Not that I’m surprised — Kelly consistently impresses — but I had a really fun time at The Gibson.
As usual, Kelly had rounded up some vendors with delicious products to highlight. The inside-​out pork buns were sublime, but I think I was the only one who didn’t fall in love with the fried cheesecake things. They were fine, mind you, just not something I’m going to leave Veek for.
I had about three cake balls in all, just for science. My hypothesis was confirmed — delicious.
In terms of libations, there’s no way on [deity]‘s green earth I was going to drink vodka flavored like cupcakes, but I sure did enjoy my cold Real Ales on that comfortable patio.
It’s always more about the people at these events, and that held true on Sunday. Tell me I can spend a few hours hanging out with some funny, smart and friendly people — some I’ve known for a few years, some I met that day — and I’m a happy guy. Met «Mr. 512», one of my new favorite Unilocalers, and even had a Mr. Doctor X sighting. It’s been way too long, MDX, and I hope by everyone’s reaction to seeing you it means that you’ll find some more time to be around at these things.
I was annoying camera-​boy again, and have loaded up a few pictures I took. If you are one and don’t like it, just tell me and I’ll yank it down. I never made it to the photobooth, but I heard lots of people singing Allison Narro’s praises.
Thanks again Kelly, and thank you so much to The Gibson, Three Olives, Real Ale, Luke’s and Sugaplump.
Looks like 2012 is starting off just jim dandy …

I really like this place. Seeing it filled with so many nice people made it even better.
I live in 78 704. It was really nice to have Unilocal Elite event so close to home. I could almost have walked!
Luke’s Inside Out offered up fantastic snacks. And Real Ale and Three Olives vodka provided the libations.
The staff was fantastic. Unilocalers are super-​nice and know how to tip, but a crush this size would drive lesser bartenders bananas. They maintained their grace under fire.

I feel like a popular kid when I go to a Unilocal elite event.
Like I am part of the «in crowd», and I didn’t have to blow someone to get there.
That being said, I still realize I am socially inept. Like a lot. And for real.
I showed up, checked in, grabbed a beer, and told myself I was going to socialize. I ended up sitting in a booth. I love my beer, and we are «besties.» Lone Star keeps me company.
I did say hi, awkwardly, to some Unilocal peoples, and I tried to smile. I also realized today that I am incredibly short. I think I’ve known this my whole life, but I realize it time and time again, especially around really tall Unilocal people.
There was free vodka, beer, and sandwiches. And cake balls. So, thank you for that. I won a gift certificate to SugaPlump, and that was cool. The times I’ve won something in my life? Like twice. In high school, I won 200 bucks at bingo. And in my twenties, I won 19 bucks on a scratch off ticket I bought as a joke. So, now I feel cooler than I did two hours ago.
I met some new Unilocal people, and I felt like I did not live up to my name, because I was stupidly awkward. So, sorry for that. You know, when you don’t leave your own house for three years, the world becomes too big to handle. I’m trying!
Thank you for the fun afternoon and stuff. I had fun and will promise to try to be more awesomer next event. And again, like last time, if I sat in the corner and stared at you, sorry. I might always be that creepy girl. I know i stared at many people thinking, «they look familiar,» and just continued staring. Its creepy, i know, and sorry. The red hair doesn’t help.

Another knock your socks off Unilocal event! My afternoon started with Jesse D., Michael B. and I at the Highball as we killed some time before the big event.
Lauren B. greeted us at the door and promptly checked us in. When Kelly announced she was the new intern, you could have fooled me. Lauren was a pro and and all personality. I like my beers dark and thick so I went strait for a Real Ale Coffee Porter which by the way went excellent with SugaPlump’s cake balls. I believe when possible balls should always come in pairs. so I had one lemon and one chocolate. No BS they were the best (cake) balls I had the pleasure of tasting. I tried a pork bun deal from Luke’s and it was delicious. I also had a Diet and Three Olives Vodka.
I recently had a car accident and put on bed rest for couple weeks. My bed rest ended Friday and I was ready to reconnect with all the Unilocal people I heart so much! I sat with great company to include my sig Jesse D., Shani & Mark who are forever smiling (and have an infectious spirit), and the sweetest friend evah Heather F. It was great seeing everyone and I wished I could have made rounds to chat with everyone as usual with these big events. Today reminded me of all the good people I have the pleasure of knowing.
Thanks Gibson for providing an open & comfortable venue with great employees. SugaPlump & Luke’s brought it when it came to food. Thank you Kelly S. for continuously hosting the best best parties.