Captain Bubbles

Come here if your idea of doing laundry is gambling against the house at a Vegas casino. Here, like there, the odds are not in your favor.
Sometimes you’ll get lucky and you’ll be able to do your laundry. Other times, the machines that do work (more than half do not) will swallow your quarters or flood or rip your clothes. The quarter machine is always empty and if you try asking the diner next door that owns this place if they can give you change they look at you like you’re carrying some disease. Seriously: i needed one quarter once because the machine didn’t take mine and they would not give me change for a dollar.
Just let that sink in. They own a laundromat. They would not give me change.
«Don’t you guys own the laundromat?» I asked dumbfounded when I heard this news.
«Yes, but the guy in charge of the quarters isn’t here today.» So I had to walk to the bank in a snow storm to get one quarter for my laundry. Oh, and by the time I made it back the machines I’d started putting quarters in had reset back to zero.
Fuck this place. Fuck the owner or owners. Fuck the diner they also run. If they run that place like they run this place, you’ll probably end up getting sick. It’s a roll of the dice at least. You’re better off doing your laundry in your kitchen sink.
By the way, I’m putting the price at ultra high-​end because not only are the machines over riced, they’ve eaten enough of my quarters that I feel like it’s totally warranted.

This place is the Chernobyl of laundromats. You’ll get it the moment you enter.
Every other machine is broken and it’s become quite obvious that the owner either a.) doesn’t care enough to fix them or b.) doesn’t have the funds to do so. The few machines that do work are so ill maintained that your clothes will feel like they’re being punished.
I hate to give small businesses bad reviews, but if this place isn’t one star I don’t know what is. Sorry, Captain Bubbles.

I don’t think this place is branded as Captain Bubbles anymore, but it is still operating at the same location.
I’m glad it is, because there aren’t any other laundry places that are convenient to this location. That said, it is the saddest laundry place I have ever been to. Half of the machines don’t work and have «Broken» scrawled across them in marker. There are three chairs. There are folks drifting in and out of here, eying you to see if you look like someone who’ll steal your clothes, then popping out for a smoke. There are precious roommate advertisements scrawled in more marker taped to the table abutting one of the chairs. It looks as though the tops of the machines may never have been wiped down.
I have never had to wait in line for a machine, though.

This place is filthy and falling apart. There is a thick coat of grime on a floor littered with lint, scraps of paper, and used fabric softener sheets. The change machine is permanently broken, so bring plenty of quarters if you are unfortunate enough to come here. Five of the fifteen machines seem permanently out of service too. Both high capacity machines work, however. All of the machines are stained with liquid detergent and dirt, so you cannot put anything on top of them you don’t want to get dirty. Only two of the dryers are broken, but there is almost no space to fold laundry. Not that this matters, as you would have to be crazy to let your clean clothes touch anything in this pig sty.
Laundry: $ 2.25 (normal cycle), $ 2.75 (heavy cycle), $ 4.00 (high capacity machine)
Dry: $ 0.25 for 6 min.

The only caveat: the guy who works there was not there at either my dropoff or pickup time, so I followed the clue-​like signs to find him in the coffeeshop next door. It was 20% more adventurous than any other laundry excursion I have ever had.
My laundry was done on time, clean and folded nicely. No surprises. No underwears being sold on eBay. HOWEVER they use some seriously industrial strength lavender-​scented detergents that actually made my skin a little unhappy. Not goin back because of this. Folks whose bodies are more cool with histamines should have at it though. Better to have more soap than less with dollar a pound.

In general, I am pretty sketched out by any and all Laundromats, due to a traumatic experience a couple years ago. Though I have laundry in my basement, my good-​for-​nothing landlady has not gotten our dryer fixed, leaving me in quite the pickle.
Captain Bubbles is approximately half a block from me, so I decided to lug my piles of laundry over there and hope for the best. Save for the pirate theme, this is just a typical Laundromat — soap spills, dusty floor, broken machines, half crazy guy mumbling in the corner. However, there are three things I do like that might convince me to come back here even after the dryer is fixed.
1)Refund cards when the machine takes your money. Appreciated greatly.
2)8 minutes for a quarter on the dryers! That’s a steal!
3)A security camera so I have less of a chance to relive the nightmare of having my underwear stolen out of the dryer. Yes, this really happened.
Keep blowin’ dem bubbles, Captain.