Lido Lounge

My family lives in Hawaii. Sometimes I get really lonely. I go here and have a nice lady hold me and cuddle me and tell me, «It’s ok Dorothy… You’re home now!» I don’t remember her name but she has stars that start on her stomach and I’m not sure where they end? Her name was either Henna or Hannah I think.

It was a Fri late night and me and my buddy decided to try out lidos. First off mostly all of the dancers are either overweighted or ugly ducklings. you had about 2 out of the 12 women who were there that looked half decent. No private rooms. The VIP area is accessible to anyone. And they have a $ 5 cover charge. I sit down and one dancer comes up to me smelling like cigs and musk., asking me to buy her a drink. seriously…

Lido Lounge is one of the two strip clubs I’ve ever been to in CLE and I’d say it’s the least lady friendly of the two.
Now that’s not to say it isn’t lady-​friendly at all! In fact, both my visits the girls were really into chatting with me and seemed a lot less intimidated by females. However, my first visit here was much more enjoyable than my most recent. The girls just didn’t seem to be interested in being there this time. There was no one dancing when we came in and they’d been open for 1.5 hours. One girl was super enthusiastic about being there – she was great – really chatty and fun. There was only one other girl out and she was one her phone. Yikes. Every one else was still in the back room getting ready. Since the dancing is the best part for me, it sure did kill my vibe that all the girls were still getting ready 1.5 hours into open business hours.
I never have to pay the cover charge, so that doesn’t bother me. But I do kind of hate the fact that the bar doesn’t take credit cards. And don’t even think about that ATM in there unless you want to eat a $ 6 surcharge. But it is a seedy strip club, so just come with cash and you’ll be all set.
What kind of killed it for me this time around was actually the clientele. There was the creepiest of creeps ever at the bar. I was there with my significant other and this balding, middle-​aged man couldn’t care less. He kept trying to make eye-​contact with me and when I walked past to leave, he stuck his arm out to try to grab my backside. I don’t know who he thought he was, but there is a clear difference between at lady at a strip club and the girls who work there to make money. He was the reason we left.

Once upon a time it was 2011, my boyfriend had just broke up with me and then I turned 30 and thought it would be a good idea to start drinking heavily and visit strip clubs by myself.
Nothing weird or sad about that right.
I respect sex workers of all kinds. It’s a living. And pretty honest compared to a lot of jobs like say professional sports players or politicians.
As a single woman at a strip club, I find I either piss off the strippers or make the strippers so happy because perhaps I am less threatening than all the men that they encounter each night.
I had my first lap dance at Lido’s Lounge. She had braces and a pink ribbon tattoo which I inquired about and was informed it was because her mom has cancer, she has cancer and so does her daughter. That is why she dances.
Another visit I had a dancer pretty much pull my breast out of my shirt and put it in her mouth and give me her phone number. I still don’t know how I feel about that.
Over all they were fine experiences.

What can I say about the Lido? Well, it seems to be the butt of everyone’s jokes yet the parking lot is always packed. $ 5.00 entry and they don’t take debit cards at the bar. As far as strip clubs go… well, they have boobs. Need I say more?

If you notice, theres 1 star. Now, dont get it twisted, I love this place, that one star is like a 5 but a 1??? Anyways, a dance and a nightcap is on your mind, set your GPS this direction. Girls may not be the prettiest, but they’ll rub one out with some meshies on. Anyone from this side of town knows the legendary Lidos, i whatever respect you would like to look at it? On a good drunken night, this is the last place you should be before you head home. Thanks girls, keep up the good/​grimy work youre known for…

The Lido is an interesting place.
On one hand it’s a total sh*t stain of a titty bar, and usually has girls that are not too easy on the eyes. On the other hand this places seems to be where decent lookers go if they get fired from one of the, ahem, classier establishments.
There’s a VIP area that seems to be open to pretty much anyone who feels like walking in.
Enter at your own risk, and make sure you have hand sanitizer.

Need to be loaded by the time you get here, rule one.
Two, girls may not be the prettiest but neither are you, that’s why you paying to see some pussy.
Correction to other review: This place in not like Pinky’s or Ambers.
Pinky’s was heaven on earth. Best bang for your buck by far.
Ambers is a bit pricier and has a nipple makeup requirement.
They are not the dregs of Cleveland’s adult entertainment world, what was the place that got drummed out cause of Tremont’s gentrification, some sorta fox? That was worse.
A few years ago I went by myself and walked up to some lady wearing Ann Bancroft in the Graduate type Merry Widow (which should have tipped me off for what was to come).
When she turns around it was like this Amazing Stories I saw when I was little about a guy who invents a scientific solution that turns magazine pictures into real life. First he did it with a poodle and that worked out good but when he did it to a CheeseCake photo the lady had her face down, and when she looked up, SHE WAS REALLY A SKELETON.
So when the lady turned around it was sorta like that. But I’m a gentleman in a club for me so I got a dance. Old lady stale cigarette smoke sorta does it for me in a way.
I’m scum, but I will be angelic trash and scum. And a plain creep.
Another time I went to the VIP with a girl who took me out right away cuz she didn’t like the sorta people that were already in there and showed me a rebel flag tattoo.
There usually a few pretty girls, but gotta warn ya, the good looking sophisticated guys like me are usually monopolizing there attention.

Stopped in here around 8 o’clock on a Saturday night. My friend and I were expecting a total train wreck because of the reviews on this board. The décor of the place is a lot nicer than expected, not great but feels like a strip club. The girls were not very good looking, we actually spent most of our time there talking to an overweight 21 year old. Her flab was pretty nasty.
Lido Lounge isn’t a place I’d go to again, since I am sure there are better strip clubs than this in the city. I was looking for more for more of a crap show than a great experience, and I got neither. I have not been to another strip club in Cleveland, nor am I from there so I have nothing to compare it to.
There was a $ 5 cover, and the beers were like $ 4. I didn’t buy a lapdance so I have no idea how much those cost.

Awwwww shit! They got a new sign! Stay classy, Lido Lounge!

The cover is only $ 5, lap dances $ 10. It is always a good idea to go here! It really is like the Players Club! A stripper once grabbed the Heineken bottle from my hand and threw it at some dude!