The Onion

I love America’s Finest News Source and I love it even more that when I first started reading it, it was only in Denver, Madison, and a couple other cities at the most. I still love it, but it especially kept me sane (and laughing) during the years I lived in Denver.

This is the only «news» periodical I read regulary. Which shows that my opinion really doesn’t matter.
I serioulsy look forward to reading these articles so much during the week its insane, I wish they were a bi-​weekly paper.
I quote this papers articles in a three way tie with Wanynes World and The Simpsons, so obviously I’m totally hilarious to be around.
I mean seriously «free thinking cat shits outside the box»,
«white house jester beheaded for making fun of soaring national debt»
ASTERIOD PROBE RETURNS TO EARTH «Hopefully they let Bruce Willis take a few jabs at it before they start analyzing, just in case it starts getting any bright ideas.»
All Genius.
The crossword is even funny.
If this paper ever stops circulating, I’m positive there will be riots in the streets.

Always hilarious. A great fact source. I’m proud to hail from the same state as the Onion. Hands down one of the funniest things in print media, to date. I never miss an issue.

Finally real unbiased NEWS! Yes, I avidly stand by the little cheap tin dispenser every week waiting for the truth to be delivered!
I have been out foxed by many media outlets that spoon feed you, but the Onion delivers time in and time again! Routinely this rag is the recipients of liquids spit from my mouth after busting up on over on of their in depth and pointed articles! Very rarely do you come across a organization so in tune with itself and IAB always!
Have Funy NJOY! If it doesn’t make you laugh even a little bit lighten up!
Favortie all time Headline! Jesus answers boys prayer says no! Might not be funny to some but cracked me up!

The Onion will take over America. It has more beauty and honesty than all other fake-​news publications combined-​except for the New York Times. Plus, they have «Cathy» in Spanish.

The Onion is America’s finest print media news source, period. Who else would print the classic headline, «Supreme Court Overturns Car?» I giggle like mad every time I hear it.
Yes, the satire gets old once in a while, and sometimes they do the same jokes over and over until you want to turn the newspaper into spitballs and shoot them at the editors. In fact, all of the ‘columnists’ are that repetitive. But you can’t beat The Onion at its best– one article published this summer poked fun at the constant force feeding of empowerment down women’s throats by pointing out the proliferation of ‘women’s cereal’ and other silly products that don’t need to be gender specific. It was edgy, funny, true, and satirical at the same time.
Pure genius, and you can read it for free at lots of local sandwich shops, coffee joints, and at the Landmark Theatres while waiting for your movie.

You can never go wrong with The Onion. It can usually be picked up free all over town and they somehow manage to never disappoint. Every issue is a classic.