Crab Bowl

This place was horrible. I went in with my fiancé and oh my god. Fucking nastiest place I have ever seen. Bugs crawling out of the menus. We left before we could get a bowl of progresso claim chowder. If it wasn’t for cheap alcoholics this place wouldn’t be around. I didn’t even feel comfortable drinking their water.

Yes this place is seedy, yes it’s somewhat dirty and yes the food is good. They sometimes «have to check» if they have the ingredients to make what you ordered, but that’s all good because the drinks are cheap and strong the owner is always there to say hi and the service is usually not bad!!! They have kareokoe ²⁴⁄₇! If you want to get weird this is the place!

Last time I went to this tiny, dirty, sorry excuse of a bar there were people having sex on the balcony that we could see from the bar, the owner was there… I will never go back, if you’re smart you will steer clear of this death trap

This place is disgusting. Using the name of a restaurant that was there years ago, this place has food that is mediocre at best, and has been featured on «dirty diners» for their unsanitary conditions

One of the most fun dive bars I have been to!!! Fun karaōke and amazing burgers! The bartender was also amazing! He was very attentive and friendly and when I had a sweet tooth and they didnt have any dessert to serve he snuck me a chocolate bar :) I will definitely be coming back!!!

Let me put it this way. If you go here you are GUARANTEED a weird time. This place feels like a cross between a David Lynch film and a messy, hoarding, grandma’s house.

Divey. Dirty. Smells of pee and butt mixed with bleach.
But, the servers are friendly, the drinks stiff, the wait to usually sing a karaōke song not long, and Steveo can usually make ANY song you want into a karaōke version.
The patio is a giant cloud of smoke.
It’s a dive bar. They know this. It’s good for a dive bar.
Stay away from the jello shots. They taste like stale fridge.

I have gone to the Crab Bowl twice and both times I had a good time.
The first time I was already highly intoxicated but, I remember entering downstairs and thinking it looked lame. Then found out there was an upstairs and headed that way. Once upstairs I was entirely freaked out by the TV showing live feed from downstairs, I thought I was in The Grunge. But, I went with friends and we had a good time drinking cheap drinks and downing jello shots!
The second time I was pretty upset that all of my friends are becoming old and boring. That night they all «didn’t feel like it.» I wasn’t about to let their boring attitudes slow my roll! I went solo and it was the best decision I made that month. I met some girls, we danced, sang, drank. The place was totally packed on a Friday night and didn’t resemble the empty creepy place I went to before.
All the music is new. Like new new. Newer than radio and all the swanky bars downtown. But of course, you can sing whatever song you want on karaōke. The DJ is pretty good too, he will order the singers by genera so that the music selection makes sense. I was in the country section ;)

I can’t believe this structure passes whatever structural codes necessary for a business and the place is the biggest dive I can remember.
That said, they had two Ninkasi taps and the four patrons (including me) had a fun time. But, wow. super divey. I would not try whatever comes out of their kitchen.

It’s like drinking at home, but at the crab bowl.

Disaster waiting to happen.
Some nights thats just what you need to take it up a notch, otherwise steer clear
Has been «featured» on dirty dining. No surprise here.

We just moved into the area and were called, siren-​style, by the FISH-​N-​CHIPS sign outside. A little divey, a mural of some seaworthy somebody on the wall, seemed like a pretty safe bet this place was gonna be good.
We sat in the restaurant space downstairs, which honestly feels only slightly like an afterthought as it quickly became apparent the moneymaker, the bar, was upstairs. That being said, as we weren’t in the mood to play darts with that pack of fellas upstairs, we decided to press on and have dinner. I ordered some prawns and chips, sir got the halibut fish and chips. Their chips are much more English-​style, potatoey circles either baked or pan fried to a toasty, albeit not crispy, brown finish. Yummy. The breading was light, it flaked off a little more than I would have liked, but it didn’t take away from the fish at all. The tartar sauce was from in-​house, and was pretty subtle.
Overall, the people running the place were nice, the food was good, and the prices weren’t bad at all. Not great, not bad. Just A-​OK. We’ll hafta give the watering hole upstairs a go some other time.

«¿Por qué no?»
Monday nights are tough for dining in South Portland areas. The best places seem to be closed on Mondays and I’m not really a chain restaurant diner. So I came across the Crab Bowl and thought «¿Por qué no?».
Arriving at 8:20 pm I found the place empty — no-​one downstairs and all the tables are empty — interesting. I hear a person coming down the stairs and asked if the kitchen was open, «yes, until 2:00» was the slightly stern answer from the woman. Hmmm — interesting.
So I ventured upstairs to the bar area which is also empty except for the bartender — the lovely Grace. She was friendly and entertaining while explaining I hit the lull point of the night — after the dinner crowd and before the 9:00 pm bar crowd. I had a fine time there talking to her and the guy working on getting setup for the crowd that night. It’s an old family run place with a small staff. So I can see where service may be hit n miss without the large staff of a chain place. For me though, all was good.
I ordered a Manhattan to drink, a bowl of clam chowder, and the Halibut fish and chips (subbing the house salad for the chips). Food was good, fish was flaky and tender, and the house dressing on the salad had a nice kick to it. Drinks were well made. And service was prompt.
And as Grace said, around 9:00 people started to roll in — definitely a local crowd, mostly friendly, and some a little drunk. The singing started up without fanfare around 9:30. I was going to play a game or two on the pinball machine (Sopranos), but the singing started and I didn’t want to be making bells go off in the corner while someone was belting his way through some cheesy song.
I had a good time and would definitely go back.
Reading a few other reviews posted here I am slightly baffled. First of all, prices. One guy in particular stated «drink prices suck». What are you expecting? $ 1? They are pretty cheap. I got soup, F&C, 1 beer, and 2 drinks, and my bill came to $ 25. So that was basically $ 12 for a beer and 2 cocktails. Seems pretty reasonable to me, or maybe I am just too used to paying $ 9 for a Manhattan.
The other thing was several people refer to this as a dive bar. Now I know that the definition of «Dive Bar» varies a lot, and I can see why some people might consider this one. In my book this is a «local restaurant and bar» in an old building. It’s not just a bar (which makes it difficult to be a dive bar), it has plenty of lighting and windows, and it is fairly well maintained. To each his own, if you want to feel cool by saying you went to a «dive bar» and were here, that is up to you.

These are some notes I took while at the restaurant:
woman appeared to be very prompt.
Atmosphere is dimly lit and jazz music is playing
Not friendly upon walk-​in, man gave a stern look.
Only two people working– woman and man.
Random computer on first floor nestled in a corner next to a fireplace
Unprepared — food took very long
Disorganized — cardboard boxes scattered everywhere, fridge right behind a booth, looks like a messy house.
I wish I couldve been here on a good day like karaōke, if it’s even good on those days.
I know I came here on a holiday but the vibe was very drab and uninviting
Food took 50 – 60 minutes.
Clam chowder — served in a small, shallow, cannelloni looking serving dish. It was expensive and wasn’t too flavorful
Steamed clams were pretty good, but didn’t appear to be the promised serving size, 1 lb.
I’d stay away from this place if I were you.

Finding a good burger is always a treat; finding one in the most unlikely of locations is a double delight!
Saturday Mrs. BurgerDogBoy and I were out on some of the last minute holiday rounds; stop at a thrift store for ugly sweaters for the Unilocal party (SCORE!), Target, and then scooting home, I suggested we delay our return in favor of lunch out. When she asked «where,» I replied «Crab Bowl» which is kind of an inside joke with us, it’s another place we have driven by thousands of times, and never stopped in.
So off to Crab Bowl we went. She pulled into a parking slot and said «is it open?» The open sign was on, but the joint was dark and devoid of any activity. I said «I’ll check,» and went to try the door, fulling expecting it to be locked. But it wasn’t. I went in, yelled «hellooooooooooooo» (in my best «Tigger’ voice), and there was no reply. There was a light on in the kitchen, so I checked that out, as well. I went to the stairwell, and started upstairs, and did the Tigger call again. A woman’s voice answered «can I help you,» and I heard her start down the stairs.
When I finally spied her, I asked if they were open, and she replied «sure, sit anywhere.»
I went to open the front door and give the OK sign to Mrs. BDB, who came in.
We sat in a booth by the window, and surveyed the room. It’s chock a block full of excess furniture, mostly in the memoralbilia genre. Old radios and such, an ancient Singer sewing machine. They are either in the process of redecorating, moving in, or moving out. There were no lights on in the dining room, and it was chilly — tho a small gas fireplace in the corner had been turned on.
The woman brought menues and took our drink order. We perused the menu and lingered for a moment over the Crab Bowl — a mélange of seafood, at $ 25 (add $ 2 to share), before Mrs. BDB chose the Maryland Crab Cakes with smash, and I opted for the burger, which had some superlative attached to the description, as well as «hand-​formed patty.»
The woman busied herself in the kitchen as well as making a phone call, apparently seeking some guidance in preparing our food. About ten minutes later, a car pulled up in front, and a man got out, entered the restaurant, greeted us, and said «I’ll get the lights on and get you some eat.»
Our drinks arrived, an iced tea for Mrs BDB and a fountain Diet Coke for me.
Hustle and bustle continued behind the scenes in the kitchen, it would appear to the non-​informed (like me), that the cooking was to be a team effort. Either the woman was not one of the regular cooks, or we had chosen two items she didn’t know how to prep.
I’m guessing it took about 40 minutes for our food to arrive. The man would periodically walk out and make small talk with us, mostly about the various antiques in the room. I inquired specifically about a 1950s vintage AMI jukebox, a subject that is of interest to me.
We really had zero expectations, based on our experience so far, in the restaurant. But guess what? We were blown away by the prep, quality, taste, and aesthetics of the presentation. The crab cakes were crab meaty, the real smash astonishingly creamy, and some steamed vegetables added a nice touch to Mrs. BDB’s selection.
The burger was pretty, hand-​formed as promised, tasty, and smothered with Tillamook cheddar and a couple of amply thick slabs of bacon. It was complimented by a tab of mayo, lettuce and tomatoes, a good pickle spear, a pepper, and an orange wedge rested on the plate, as well as what the menu called «English fries», I’ve more commonly seem them called «cottage fries», or «home fries», elsewhere, crisp, thick slices of whole potato. I like cottage/​home/​English fries as much as tater tots, and these I dug.
The meat patty was tasty in its own right. I dug it. Ultimately I dug being the whole customers. In the process of writing this post, I looked at a lot of other online reviews from over the past several years, and they are certainly inconsistent. But that follows the old adage of «opinions are like xxxholes, everybody has one.» As to I. One can take any experience and find ways to nitpick how it was to them, and you have certainly seen me do that as well.
But as for Crab Bowl? I like it.

To be honest, I have not had their food here. I have only been here a few times with some good friends for karaōke madness. This little spot in the west side of Barbur Blvd. has been making me come back for more. Our group usually arrives a little before 9 PM to get seats and such. The bartenders are super friendly and can make some good cheap priced drinks. I bought a round for my friends and the bill was about $ 10 or so.
Upstairs where the karaōke has a unique layout. The bathrooms are similar that you would find in old school apartments. There is a living room section where people can chill and watch the sports games on the big screen. Smokers come and go too quite frequently so the place doesn’t feel packed a times due to the flow of traffic. Karaōke can start between 9 – 10 PM.
The KJ has an extensive song list. If there is not a song in the book, he can look in his computer to see if it’s available. Last time I was there, the KJ went the extra mile and downloaded the song for me to sing. That’s a bonus star right there! Our group called up pretty often to sing and there was never a long wait. Saturday night felt more laid back and it was more filled with regulars. A lot of people knew each other but didn’t shun the strangers either. One gal was kind of annoying and my friend wanted to go all «Snooki» on her.
This place is somewhat out of the way for me to venture, but I do have friends that live right by so it’s all good. Someday I’ll try their food, someday…

I’m not sure if people actually consume food here. but, the upstairs bar is where it’s at!!! If you like dive bars, entertaining people, karaōke, and stiff-​cheap drinks then I expect to see you here!
After 9pm this place turns into a serious party. The KJ’s are rad and knowledgeable about music and on my particular night can also make a mean drink. I asked the owner if they had ginger ale and he said yeah but it’s in my car. (cans) Hahaha, seriously. He went out and got it for me. Sweet!
The regulars here also take over the song requests. Apparently once you’ve learned how to run the system you can just walk up and enter your song. Again, pretty rad.

Note: This is for the upstairs Bar Karaōke not the downstairs restaurant.
1. This place sucks.
2. This Karaōke «KJ Stevo» guy sucks
3. Their Smoking lounge sucks
4. Their drink prices suck.
5. One Star for Jello Shots.
6. Two Stars for the Crowd. Some pretty cool people come here to belt out some good songs and there was a lot of crowd singing going on with the «Anthem» Songs. You can have a lot of fun here but you have to bring it yourself BYOF.
Cheers!

(Disclaimer: I did not come here for the food, but for karaōke.)
The attic is where the bar and KJ reside. There’s also a living room of sorts that was showing the Blazers game.
It was karaōke time and the room quickly filled up with regulars. It gets crowded in the Bowl! They have a good selection of songs, including fairly recent ones (I discovered they had some pretty new songs not in the book, so ask the KJ if they have it– you have to tell him what song you want rather than writing on a sheet of paper anyways).
Drinks were not expensive, thankfully. They have the usual cheap PBR too.
Why 3 stars? While the karaōke was fun, the Bowl didn’t blow me away or anything. I dunno. 3 stars means «A-​OK» and this place is that. It’s cool to have another karaōke joint in the neighborhood though.

I don’t know why one of the previous reviewers said the attic is dirty and no way is up to any health code. Crab Bowl’s attic is the place to be. They have full bar with karaōke.
We went on Thursday night and it was empty when we got there. After 9 pm, this place came alive. Most of the people are regulars and what surprised me was there’s no one type of customers here. Older men, middle age women, nerdy guys, college kids, awesome smart people (like my friends and I) were all here.
Our bartender that night, Michael, was nice and he served good drinks. My DL & I had about four drinks combined and the bill was $ 17. It’s not too shabby.
The karaōke bible is thick and full of songs. They have mostly everything from back in the good ol days songs, up to Flight of The Conchords, Lady Gaga, and even Lion King soundtrack (you know you like some Hakuna Matata).
Sadly, we were full so we didn’t try their foods. I like this place. It’s not a bad dive where the regulars missing most of their teeth. It’s not hip. It’s just a neighborhood karaōke joint with friendly atmosphere. I dig that.