Smash Putt

Meh. By the time we got there (last weekend it was open) half the holes were barely functioning. And there was no order to anything. The most fun I had was getting the golf ball drilled as many times as possible at the final hole. Drinks were reasonably priced but the $ 19 fee was NOT. If it comes back, I won’t be first in line.

I should have listened to my inner voice screaming «Don’t do it!» instead of handing over my card to pay NINETEEN DOLLARS for the worst mini golf of my life.
There was no order to this madness. Holes were poorly numbered, if numbered at all. People were standing around randomly not making it clear if they were playing or just… standing around.
It seemed that half the holes were broken or barely functional. Some weren’t even really holes! The concept was interesting but the execution? No.
The stars are for the fact that you could drink for a reasonable price & the «hole» where you could shoot balls. Even if this had been cheaper, I’d still have felt ripped off.
If SmashPutt comes back to Portand, take one guess where you won’t find me.

As Smash Putt winds down its stay in Portland, there are a few relevant updates to the Smash Putt experience.
On the positive side, it’s not as busy as it was in the early days. You don’t need to immediately book tickets when a new week rolls around as tickets are much more widely available. Once inside, you won’t have to wait as long for each hole (which is nice given their «play in any order» policy).
It also means that several holes are out of order, and it doesn’t appear as if the Smash Putt guys are in any hurry to put them back in order. So realize that you might be playing 2 – 3 fewer holes than you might have a month ago.
I recommend getting discounted tickets earlier in the day. «Afternoon Delight» tickets are only $ 11, which I figure is about what Smash Putt is worth.

At first things seemed kind of odd, chaotic, not organized, and a little bit nutty.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing.
We scoped the place out and quickly realized that most rules were out the window, so we hit the bar to booze up before smashing some balls. They had some drink specials so I tried the ginger vodka & cider cocktail that was about 90% vodka, 5% ice and 5% soda. We were off to a good start!
The holes aren’t numbered, and the place was basically a free for all, so right away I said to hell with keeping score, lets just hit stuff!
If you require order, need to keep score, absolutely must have things fully functioning and require things to MAKE SENSE from a gaming standpoint or, well, any standpoint really, this place isn’t for you. Drink some vodka, let loose and have fun. There’s tons to be had.
Highlights:
SILVER CLAD MARCHING BAND OF AWESOME, heavy pours, a hole that is literally a pimped out Cadillac on hydraulics, a hole that drills a massive hole in your ball that makes the rest of the course rather interesting, Mission Impossible, (golf in a dark inclosed space while avoiding lasers, or set off a loud and embarrassing alarm so everyone will know how horribly uncoordinated you are) air guns that shoot golf balls at hanging metal targets, and random rooms of kitschy goods.
Go, hit things, shoot things, drink things. You’ll have a blast.

I had high hopes for Smash Putt, and even at the price of free, I’d give it three stars. The place was super busy, and we ended up jumping around from hole to hole because there were lines everywhere. The website says the theory behind the staggered start times is to make it less crowded – not so great.
I like the idea of Smash Putt, and I could see it being really fun if half of it wasn’t broken. There was one completely out of commission (scratch n sniff), half of the mission impossible lasers were broken (making that round pretty easy), the moving animals were broken, among others. My friend had gone the week before and had the same issue (except different machines were broken).
Some of the holes weren’t even holes, which was kind of disappointing. The infinity hole was creative but pointless. The shooting range was cool, but how many strokes do you write down?
The one with the car and the remote was really cool. My favorite for sure. Playing the new version of the Atari was fun too, except one of the joysticks was broken and the buttons on the console didn’t work particularly well.
Maybe I wasn’t drunk enough, but I wouldn’t pay full price for this. I’d say it’s worth about $ 5 – 7 instead of the full $ 10 – 15. Hit up MercPerks and score yourself a deal to make this worth it.

Amazing! Original, innovative, and a must activity for fun loving portlanders!

Smash Putt was fun. It was a bit pricey for the amount of holes there are but some of them are just so fun I don’t regret it. Want to crawl on the ground mission impossible style to avoid lasers? How about figure out which hole to shoot into by spinning a wheel of scratch and sniffs? I loved the ski ball hole and the huge mechanical car. The best was shooting the balls out of big old guns! Its like a super fun interactive art exhibit!

I had a great time.
Each of the courses offer a unique and different challenges. Some pit you versus the course. Some pit you versus your party. Some pit you versus you. It’s one of those things where it’s worth to pony up the entrance fee and try it once.
The course has a bar and libations weren’t that bad. Definitely adds to the fun so go ahead and grab a few beers.
Only negative I would have to say is that it gets packed, and having to wait 15 minutes to get on course sort of took some of the luster.

Really fun, but the bar was AWFUL!!! Half the time we were missing one of our group because they had to wait at the bar forever just to get a drink. They could make more money if they had at least one more bartender.

This was an absolute great time! I have found that inner child.
So this is in Chinatown, sometimes sketchy, but don’t let that deter you. Walk in get your warning, something about moving parts… danger. Basically don’t put your hand in the way of moving parts, drills, saws, etc, then go have FUN! Grab a putter and find your way to any hole, no need to go in order just complete them all. There is a car to hit some switches, an air rifle, and moving holes to name a few.
There is a bar to pass the time between holes or to get you just right for that hole in one. Not much for mixed drinks but they had about 4 beers on tap and a cider! My only complaint was there is only one bathroom but not a big deal.
I left Smash-​Putt with a score card that needs a calculator but the important # was 1 for one hell of a good time!

Smash Putt is is so intrinsically Portland! How did we not already have this? And it’s only here for a limited time? WHAT?! BAR THE EXISTS! CHAIN YOURSELF TO THE EXTERIOR!
From the outside it doesn’t look like much — but don’t let that stop you. Solider on into the abandoned looking building that once held Hung Far Low and enter the world of Smash Putt. If you think you know your way around the Mini Golf rodeo — think again. This takes Mini Golf, blind folds it, spins in around, and drops it into a whole new world. You’ll crawl under lasers, they’ll drill a hole in your ball, you’ll sabotage your opponents, you’ll scratch and sniff your way to a par 3, and you’re still not done yet.
Smash Putt is the brain child of artists. Each hole holds it’s own unique bag of tricks to keep you on your toes. I came on a Saturday night and while busy it wasn’t overwhelming — although I could see how it could get that way. If you’re a stickler for order, just cool your heals, and enjoy the craziness that is Smash Putt. There is no order or rhyme of reason to the holes, it’ just for fun. Better still — they have a full bar!
I had a fantastic time — there is really nothing like this and for $ 11 dollars I think it is, it’s well worth your time.

I had a blast here! Seriously, such a fun take to traditional miniature golf. This was the first time I had heard of smash putt and I must say I was a bit skeptical. My friend and I arrived at about 6:30 for out 7 pm start time and we were checked right in. Every hole is artist created and a blast to play. It is loud in this venue so if that bothers you then I suggest you find something else to do. But if you are looking for a real fun, pacific northwest take on mini golf then don’t hesitate and go! They are temporary and will only be here in PDX through the end of March so don’t wait too long!
One minor gripe is that I think they should invest in foam ear protection for those that participate in the airgun game (shoots golfballs). It’s LOUD. A box shouldn’t be that big of an investment for them :)

Smash Putt is awesome!
I love miniature golf. So when I heard about this amped-​up version of miniature golf, I was sold without a second thought.
When you get in, they tell you not to be dumb and stick your hands in any moving parts. They are also clear that this event is made by artists (not engineers), and that is pretty obvious when you start going through some of the holes. For example, there was a skee-​ball version of a hole where the hole your ball fell into dictated your score. Awesome in theory, but the way it was designed, it took like 20 tries to get your ball to not come hurtling back at you.
Overall, it’s a really fun thing to do. I only docked a star because of the fact that it was really loud, and the area where you can shoot golf balls at things with an air gun is SUPER loud, and there is no hearing protection. If you’re just close to that area it is a little uncomfortable to hang out in because of the noise.
They check your IDs at the door. There is a bar. You can run around and do the holes in any order you want. The atmosphere is really relaxed and fun. Each hole has a stand for you to rest your drink and score card on, and each hole also has its own separate rules to make it a little more interesting.

SO — SMASHPUTT
I had some issues with the website they use to sell tickets online; oh well, technology happens and I was able to get my will-​call in eventually. I am not docking any stars for that.
I went on Saturday at 9:00 PM — I came with a group of introverts, and I am happy to report it wasn’t overly crowded — SCORE!
We walked in and gave the will-​call name and we were given a score card and the following warning: The courses are designed by artists — not engineers, there are exposed wires, bolts, and other randomness that could cause loss of limbs and life — proceed at your own caution.
We decided to head off to the bar for a few drinks before we got our putt on — this is where they lose the first star. There were four people behind the bar, two seemed like bar-​backs (black plain clothes,) the other two seemed like bartenders, (wearing vests.) You could tell the bar backs really didn’t know quite what they were doing, no fault of their own — they were actively being trained as my group watched. I also honestly believe the male bartender with vest probably had some drinks through the night, he seemed tipsy by midnight.
So — SmashPutt, not the best place to get a drink, plastic cups, plastic shot glass, very limited selection of alcohol, lack of skilled mixologist. In Downtown PDX, you lose a star for a bad bar.
The courses; I have to admit I was having a lot of fun at first — and yes you could tell that these courses were NOT made from an engineering perspective. The fun was there through the night, but I am having a hard time figuring out WHY it was fun… I mean half the courses did not operate correctly, the hydraulic car course was not working correctly by the time my group came through. The mission impossible course was also not working right, the only time the alarm went off is when I literally put my hand over the laser that I just walked by and should have set off.
YES — it was a good change of pace from normal mini golf, the themed courses, the courses that moved the hole, the over engineered artistry great idea — BUT i am going to have to take away another star — and this is why: I believe if you put a bar in a normal miniature golf location, took away the kids, and let the patrons do what they want — they would have had just as good of a time as they would at smashputt.
Would I go again — Yes I would go again.
Was it Amazing — No, I don’t really believe it was amazing.
Was it FUN — YES, YES IT WAS FUN.
SOLID 3 — 3.5
P. S. Be weary of the golf air rifles — if you hit the symbols hanging down, its about half as loud as a .22LR round going off. YES, it is that loud, but only if the symbols take a direct hit. There is a reason their employee is wearing earplugs.

For $ 10 (during happy hour), I had a great time trying to not kill myself while enjoying this chaotic game of mini golf.
11 «holes», this mini golf takes you through a contraption of sorts.
You’re given a score card and putt, and you’re on your way! Each hole has its very own rules on how to play. If you’re thirsty, there’s a bar (of course there’s a bar, it’s in Portland…)
I loved the frog, foos ball, and launcher hole.
Overall, I don’t think I could experience this in any other place, but if you see it in your time, I’d say, give this place a whack.
Check out my pics (to be uploaded later)

Smash Putt was cool, but WAYYYYY too crowded and chaotic. After waiting about 15 minutes to play each hole or get a beer, we were all just a little bit cranky — making what could have been cool much less cool. We actually left when the lines to play just turned into clusterf… If you don’t mind crowds (and ours could have been worse than usual because it was supposed to be the last Saturday), then I say go for it. Bring plenty of cash, because the bar does not take cards and the beers are not cheap. In fact, I would drink before you go!

I’ve heard of traveling circuses before. And traveling carnivals. Traveling shoe salesmen. And traveling bible salesmen.
But never before have I heard of a traveling off-​the-​wall cracked out artistic miniature golf course. Never. And I am in love. It’s hard to not fall head-​over-​heels for an event that is described as ready and willing to «get your balls smashed and your holes trashed late into the night.» A golf course that is described as utilizing things that I can’t even understand, like «centripedal actuators» and «accelerator pads». Sexy.
As a matter of fact (okay, it’s not really fact but merely my humble opinion), everything about the experience was just damned sexy in a dirty sort of way. Sticky balls. Long, black putters. A full bar with tasty Lagunitas and bartenders that’re just as tasty as their beverages. A bundle of amazing friends swinging putters, dodging renegade golf balls, beating each other with foam baguettes while pretending to ride a motor bike through the sultry streets of France. Golf courses made out of foosball men. A disco ball throwing red lights onto the walls of a course that’s powered by mechanical record players spinning on the course, waiting to fling your ball in the opposite direction of where you really want it to be. And strange old cameras and nicknacks clustered among shelves behind the bar.
I cannot say that I have any sort of puttery skills after demolishing this fantastic putt-​putt course. But I CAN say I had a ball. Ha ha. Ball. Get it? Okay, enough of that.

Imagine a bunch of bored electrical engineering students decide one summer to build a mini-​golf course out of random junk they found at the local dump or the walls of Applebee’s and you’ve got yourself an incarnation of Smash Putt. You’ll certainly not find another golf course like this around here, and sadly it’ll be leaving Portland in a week.
Memorable moments:
* Using air cannons to hit a stuffed bunny and plastic baby with golf balls
* Launching balls across the room with a catapult
* Scaring a young couple by hitting the earthquake button
* Spinning a large wooden maze around
* Suicide booth
* Making my friend scream like a little girl when I honked the horn
* Watching my wife try to hit a ball up a foosball table over two dozen times
There are 13 holes of fun and you can get through the entire course rather quickly. The price went up from $ 12 to $ 15 (plus a ~$ 1 ticket fee) recently. Show up for «Happy Hour» for a $ 10 deal. Some of the apparatuses had a few minor glitches going on, but nothing too serious that kept us from playing.
The only other thing I felt was lacking was the smashing! There were only two holes that would do any damage to the balls and I felt the drill at the end was a nice touch but a little anti-​climatic. I expected more destruction!
Hopefully this idea takes off and we get to see them around again soon!

Smash Putt happily puts the DIY masochistic lean on mini golf. The themes and ideas were worth the cost of admission. One of the relative downers was the speed of play. With a party of six, we were able to complete the course in an hour. For being ticketing for 3 ½ hours of play, I was hoping that was reflecting the size of the course. With a lot of the contraptions set up to destroy your ball, they kick up an insane amount of sawdust, plastic shavings and other funk. Even the non-​asthmatics were walking out in pain. Sadly, the most fun we had there was stuffing six people inside the credit card accepting photo booth.
They get a five for ingenuity but a two for breathing conditions.

Opening weekend was awesome, good times had by all!
Catch it while it lasts! — Bring friends!