US Customs and Border Protection

I guess this review applies to any US Customs area. Whenever I re-​enter the US, I always get hassled for having my passport stolen and not recovered when I was age 4 or 5. I am now 30 years old and I still got grilled for this situation recently. Do y’all really think that two and a half decades after this incident that someone is going to try to use that passport (which has probably been expired for at least 15 years now) to get in the US? And why bother with all the interrogation and whatnot? Doesn’t your system already know everything about everyone due to the NSA spying on the whole world? Y’all really need to chill out and take a note from the Eurozone where it is 20 times faster, easier and more friendly to get thru customs.

I am the proud owner of a «98-​number.» For those who don’t know, that’s a Known Traveler ID number — the identification you get when you sign up for the Global Entry Program via US Customs and Border Protection. Yes, I’m more than just a trusted user on Unilocal now — I’m a Trusted Traveler. And that’s pretty cool.
What does this mean? I get to use the TSA Pre-​Check service. I get to use the special kiosks at points of international entry into the US. In short, I get to skip a lot of lines. And since I travel a fair amount, that’s a damn good thing. Because I fucking hate lines.
The process goes like this:
Step 1: Don’t be a criminal.
Step 2: Be a US Citizen and get your US Passport
Step 3: Apply online and pay $ 100. This process takes a bit, so sit down with some time on your hands.
Step 4: Wait for preliminary approval
Step 5: Score an appointment to go get fingerprinted and produce your ID’s at the CBP Global Entry Office at the airport
That’s it. That’s all. Except scoring one of the in-​person appointments is a bit of a nightmare. In fact, I just went in today for an appointment I booked in early August. That’s about a 3-​month turn around, but I hear stories of same-​day appointments in places like Calgary and Edmonton, where there’s US Preclearance but not a lot of US citizens locally coming in for appointments.
This office is located outside security on the second floor at PDX. Just park in short term, find the clock tower halfway between the ABC and DE security stations, and head up the stairs to second floor. Follow signs from there.
The interview took me all of 7 minutes. I was in and out of the airport within 15 minutes total. The gentleman processing me was friendly, funny, and quick. Pretty much the exact opposite of what you’d expect from any government bureaucracy. Especially someone pulling desk duty. Bravo to you, man in dark blue.
I guess I’ll be getting some sort of card in the mail, but that didn’t stop me from immediately adding my KTN to all my mileage profiles with the big airlines. Because damned if I’m ever going to wait in a regular security line by choice again.
I’d say that I encourage everyone to participate in this program, but I don’t want you all clogging up the TSA Pre-​Check line. Also some folks may not want their fingerprints and photos any deeper into the matrix than they already are, but I’m willing to pay that price to skip them damn lines.