The Slutcracker: A Burlesque

I don’t want to give anything away, but it was amazing. Go.
I’m told it changes a bit every year, so I will be going another year too!

The Slutcracker was great the first time I saw it in 2012, being the first burlesque show I had been to. I have been to a few more since (more «traditional» burlesque than a naughty ballet), and those were also a blast.
Go into this expecting a lot of raunch. Don’t bring someone who is a stick in the mud– they will have a terrible time, and probably never forgive you for toting them along.
I went to this show again this past year (2015), and it was almost the. exact. same. show. I was a bit surprised by that, and also disappointed– but some people like to go for tradition.

*Not* a burlesque, not clever, NOT worth your time. You would absolutely expect more from something made in Somerville. I am not sure why everyone things it is so funny… Also, the bartender at the Somerville theater was a douche to the people in front of us, which detracted from the ambiance! Save your money, stay home and watch porn with the Nutcracker soundtrack on — you’ll have a better time!

I feel a little bad giving this iconic show just 3 stars, but I just couldn’t get into it. There were definitely some highlights in the show, but there was also a lot of moments that made me cringe. People tripping on props, falling out of their stripper heels and just some odd moments.
I can tell that a lot of work goes into the production of this show, but there are a few acts that need some improvement. If all the acts were as good as the whip girls (is that the proper name?!) then it would be 5+ stars.
I’m glad that I went and can say that I saw this show, but I don’t need to make it a yearly event.

Abundant eye candy no matter what your tastes are (I was partial to the lass in the Green Hair).
Great sound system to hear Tchaikovsky on.
I thought it was going to be more amateurish. The dancing was excellent. Sets and lighting were good enough. It did indeed have a coherent story line, yes it did.
Always nice to see a nice boy gets girl story (polite cough).

I don’t understand the negative reviews. Yes you want to get there early, probably about an hour early to get a good seat. The seats are indeed low and small because this is a small theater and a historic one. The venue does sell beer and wine, they have strict policies so be sure to bring ID and be prepared to only be allowed to purchase one drink at a time!
As per the show I thought that it was indeed funny. It is all dry humping sex jokes, it’s called the slutcracker! I think as long as you don’t take anything to serious and anticipate it than you can appreciate it for what it is. The actors seemed as if they actually enjoyed performing and were having a good time! No the set or the wardrobes are not the most expensive. And the actors and dancers aren’t the most talented that I’ve seen, but once again they were funny, seemed to be having a good time, and I thought some of them were actually good. I applaud their confidence to be damn near naked and shaking their assets on stage! And per the «gay» review, all I can say is that you can not be up tight or judgmental at all when you go to see this show. Just take it for what it’s worth, a laid back night out!

We have been to other Nutcracker-​themed burlesques before (yes, this is a thing), but Slutcracker really exceeds. First, the production values are wonderful; great use of props in ways that will keep you giggling. Second, they have really stayed close to the source material; you can clearly identify the themes of the original fairy tale and who’s who. Third, they stayed close to the source material in another way, namely that this is really done in a ballet style. Folks spend a fair amount of time en pointe, doing pirouettes and lifts, and flowing with the other dancers in a way that evokes a more traditional ballet. Guess what? That’s HARD. Almost every number includes feats of serious physical skill. Fourth, this is a very body-​positive and gender-​positive burlesque. You’ll see men dancing female roles (I don’t think I saw the reverse), and men and women of basically every body type. It’s not that I would let my child come see this (they’re not kidding about over-​21), but if she did, I’d at least be able to talk with her about the message that everyone can be/​feel beautiful.
I’m not sure how much the show changes year to year, but there’s enough going on on stage that we’ll probably catch it again in 2015 to get the bits we missed.
Oh, and did we mention it’s in a theater that sells microbrews you can drink at your seat? Double bonus.

Based on prior mixed reviews, my party and I expected a mixed bag experience, and we were all happily bowled over by the humor, skill, and joyful raunchiness that the troupe brought to a sold-​out Monday night performance.
Smart moves all around:
1. Got the tickets.
2. Arrived 45 mins early for the good seats.
3. Drank the craft beer and ate the popcorn.
4. Sat back and cheered the sluts.
It’s not hard, you too can do it!

Just moved here-​saw an ad on the T. Just HAD to go. Went last night with friends & we laughed our asses off. It was a riot! We already plan to make this an annual event. Other than the beginning of Act 1– not much resembles the nutcracker. (who cares?) It is indeed 1 long Burlesque revue. Those that complained about just dildoes & scantily clad dancers– what do you think is Burlesque? Sit back and have fun! WARNING: get there early for a good seat! This is general seating-​first come, etc. We arrived 35min early, were 3^rd row balcony. We could see everything, but next year plan to be there by 7 to get PRIMO seating.(I’m sure farther up in the balcony would suck).

I saw the Slutcracker on December 13, 2014 at the Somerville Theater, seated on the second floor balcony, towards the left side of the theater.
My 4-​star rating is for the show itself, which I very much enjoyed.
Unfortunately, I think the Somerville Theater is a horrible venue, and my review of it can be found at
.
If I were to send a personal note to the producers of the show, it would be to put a camera on the *audience* for a couple of showings. It’s clearly visible when people can’t see what’s happening on a certain area of the stage, because we sit up, lean forward, and start swaying to get a clear line of sight. If you continue to use the Somerville Theater as a venue, adjust where the dancers are on the stage so people don’t have to shift to see what’s going on. Also, please don’t continue to use the Somerville Theater as your venue.
With that out of the way, I turn my attention to the show.
Having read the reviews here, I went in with low expectations. I expected unskilled dancers or actors and «High school» production quality. What I got was an interesting blend of «what the hell am I watching?» and «Oh my god, that’s awesome!»
Almost all of the props are cheap and tacky, including the «bar» and the cups that are used through the show. I can understand why people might associate this with low production value, but I beg you to pay attention to the costumes before making that judgement.
The costume of the Flemenco dancer is elaborate and beautiful, and there are several scenes where coordinated actions remove pieces of clothing or ribbon in time with the music. Those outfits are not cheap or tacky, and the majority of the dancers (up to 10 in some parts) were in lock step, lending to a very smooth scene. Only when I think about it in reverse do I realize how complicated some of those costumes are, and the fact that I didn’t notice it while watching tells me that *a lot* of effort was put into getting it right.
Meanwhile, one of the main characters (I’m not saying it’s the dildo, but it’s totally the dildo!) is wearing what might well be a pink spray-​painted dollar store decoration on his head, adorned with copious amounts of glitter.
This is not «low production value». This is an artistic decision about how to portray a hyper-​exagerated, anthropomorphized sex toy. The real story is between the male lead and the female lead which is introduced in the beginning of Act I, and resolved at the end of Act II. Other than those scenes, the entire show is about fantasy, so it makes sense to me that an inanimate object would be both bedazzled and goofy. It’s *intentionally* tacky and absurd, and that’s kind of the point. For the record, the dancer playing The Dildo flops and wobbles well enough to put *any* jelly dong to shame, and I consider this a triumph of casting.
The cast is a great cross-​section of body types, and some people will consider a portion of the crew «unattractive». A tall, black, male lead will not (and I think by nature, can not…) be attractive to all viewers, but neither can a short, pale, female lead. You have to cast a wide net, because people are into different things. The Slutcracker hits the mark there.
I feel the same was done with gender. I’m specifically recalling one routine where several dancers with similar build and costume come out to low lighting, and as the lighting increases and the dancers face the crowd, one of the dancers is male. The reveal was humorous, but the rest of the routine treating him as «a dancer in a routine» was refreshing in hindsight. I was almost waiting for the over-​the-​top humor seen in some drag performances, but it never came, and that made it more fun.
As is true with all things, I do have some criticsms.
In Act I, the lighting was used well, and the performers froze when not lighted. This didn’t seem to continue for the rest of the show, and near the end, I could hear performers off-​stage cheering and yelling to actors on-​stage. Shaded actors were shaking hands, smiling, and nodding and I wasn’t sure if this was part of the performance or a flaw in it.
Additionally, the «Energizer Bunny» was visible to me, in costume, for most of the show on a private balcony. I might normally ignore this, and write it off as something that shook my sense of disbelief, but it’s outright jarring to see a costumed character «in the audience» when costumed characters *actually* interact with the audience as part of the show. Again, it diverted my focus, and was confusing.

I can’t believe the low reviews on this. Know what your getting into this is part burlesque part low brow comedy amazing ness. My face hurt from laughing so hard. Take off your lame pants and have some fun.

We went last night after hearing so many great reviews from friends. We lasted about 45 minutes. This is not burlesque. This is like a neighborhood theater/​highschool style production at best. Lousy set direction, lousy props, lousy dancing and even worse acting/​improv. Overall, complete disappointment. I guess i was expecting more Dita Von Teese burlesque… this you can’t even compare.

Pay attention to fine print. After purchasing your ticket they send you an email that just says «CAN’T PRINT? Bring your photo ID and your confirmation # to the event entrance for assistance.» But fail to tell you that it costs another $ 5 cash after already charging you a $ 2 «processing fee» for them to hand you a ticket at the window… Show is just ok but they piss you off going in to sway it to be a bad experience overall. Don’t bother…

So you’ll see from the date that I am writing this BEFORE the 2014 season has even started. I went both in 2013 and 2012 on Christmas Eve, and 10 months later I’m getting ready to buy tickets to go again this year. It obviously stuck with me, and I had a wonderful time both years. I saw this with my husband, and I’m hoping to take a friend this year from out of town.
Everything about this was just down right fun. From a preshow that gets the audience all riled up, to little jokes all the way through to a bunch of dancers who look like they are having an amazing time. I think the skill level comments are a little too harsh, and if $ 25 bucks a ticket is too much for this show, I think you’re just being whiny. In terms of seating, I am 5’3. I don’t have any more trouble here than I have at every other theater, stadium, etc. anywhere in the world.
At the end of the day, this is a sex-​positive, empowering show that I really enjoyed. I would compare the mood in the audience to something along the lines of a good Rocky Horror Picture Show crowd. I love how this show is both faithful to the Nutcracker and at the same time completely turns it on its head.

Second time was just as good as the first! Tix were $ 20, right on their web site. Great location, lots to do after, easy to find parking.
Sick of the Holiday CRAP — go! It will be the highlight of the season, I promise.

The show itself was just ok, kind of the cliché «sex toys are funny» type thing, maybe more alcohol would have made it more funny? The dancing was meh, the acting was meh, overall was like a high school performance. My problem is with the seating, we arrived a little early and were told we had to sit on the balcony. You literally cannot see ANY of the stage from the balcony (see pic attached). I was so baffled! then I noticed everyone was craning their necks in every direction or sitting on coats to catch a glimpse of the stage. I’m not even exaggerating when I mean I had to fold the movie seat up and sit on top of it to see any part of the show… which me and my butt weren’t happy about. I emailed the show to show them pictures and ask what was up with this for $ 25 tickets, and 2 weeks later still no reply. So overall, id skip this.

Was not a fan of the show. It was comparable to a High School production at best. The dancing and acting were sloppy and, even the story line lacked in terms of comedy. The MC of the night was very good and was great about getting people amped up for the show before it began, but this is really the only good thing I can say about the show.
I feel like I watched, naked out of shape, talentless people run around the stage for two hours. There is no dialog so you would think that the dancing would have to be the actor’s strong suit, but it was just a mess. The show was an excuse for people to be on stage with pasties and not have to call it a strip club.
Wouldn’t recommend seeing this show, there are plenty of other shows to see in Boston that will far surpass this experience. I would recommend going to see the Cirque Du Soleil show Zoomanity if you like this sort of edgy sexually charged shows.

Notice how everyone who gives this show a good review is basically congratulating themselves for being so cool and edgy? Yeah. Not good. Stay away.
I’ve never, ever seen a group of performers pat themselves on the back so much for such a lackluster show. I was excited to see the show; I expected a burlesque because it’s called «The Slutcracker: A Burlesque.»
It’s not a burlesque. It’s not a comedy (well, certainly not funny), and it’s not completely a ballet either. It fails at everything it tries to do, and hard. There are always at least three audience members willing to validate incredibly unfunny lowest-​common-​denominator penis jokes with a loud «Whoo!» so maybe the cast gets the misconception that they’re doing something entertaining.
Is this supposed to be edgy and groundbreaking? Two women fighting over a vibrator (A vibrator??? OMG LMFAO!!!) is not just, automatically hilarious to me. A giant statue of a dildo, similarly, is not automatically hilarious to me. The fact that you built a giant dick for a prop doesn’t excuse you from dancing well.
I wanted to see a slutty, sexy version of the Nutcracker. Guess I came to the wrong place. There are some very attractive ladies in the show, but nothing remotely sexy even happens until Act 2. And, all the times that something hot FINALLY starts happening, the scene ends like 4 seconds later. Why don’t they just do hot stuff the whole time? It seems like the main thing that makes this show «slutty» is their repeated use of dildo metaphors. It’s not the Slutcracker, it’s the Dildocracker.
Why are their drag queens dancing amidst actual hot ladies? That’s neither hot nor funny. It’s confusing. And one BBW would’ve been sufficient to bring home the «yay everyone is beautiful» point; two was excessive.
The whole show is just a giant exercise in the gay/​theatre community patting itself on the back. The show ends in a super long, extended curtain call. Then they do… another curtain call. Wow, guys. You do not deserve ten minutes of bowing for this nonsense. Not hot. Not funny. Mediocre choreography.
And why is it all so gay?
It would’ve been one star all the way…+1 more star for the amazing 3 minutes of pole dancing that randomly happens in the middle of it. Very tall, sexy, talented pole dancer. Congratulations, you got one good dancer.

Wow, uh, ok… where do I even begin? The crazy old woman, the pleather pants, or the enormous glowing vibrating dildo that comes to life?
The Slutcracker is a twist on the traditional Nutcracker. Same music, same general plot, with a few alterations that make it uniquely Slutcracker-​esque.
I won’t ruin the surprises, but just imagine a whole lot of burlesque, nudity, ballet, pole dancing, glitter, pleather, and sexual innuendo. I mean, if that doesn’t define the holiday season for you, I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES.
Don’t assume this is just a whole bunch of half naked people running around to the soundtrack of The Nutcracker, there’s a lot of humor as well.
I do think it’s a show you have to attend not expecting the same kind of pristine dance skills and refined artistry as you find in The Nutcracker – in fact, don’t really compare the two at all. Otherwise, you may find yourself disappointed. While most of the cast has dance experience, but they are no prima ballerinas, so just go into it with an open mind and you’ll have a blast.

Number 400’s going to the only standard holiday tradition I have that involves an anthropomorphic phallus. Ok, one of two.
In the few short years the now mainstay of Somerville Theatre’s winter program has run, this homegrown production has matured from a ragtag, often comical spoof of the Tchaikovsky masterpiece to a ragtag yet purposely comical spoof.
The cast is amazingly talented, flexing a real passion for the often attempted, rarely perfected art of burlesque, while keeping accessible to audience newbies and folks teetering on the edge of comfort. It’s not for everybody, though it really should be. Mouse Kings are sooo 2008.
Open your mind, grab a group and catch the show this year. It’s perfectly timed, staged in an amazing space and will easily coax you in to the world of burlesque, theater and dance. And giant, vibrating sex toys, I reckon.