The Balmain

Headed to the Balmain for a friend’s birthday. We had a reserved area outside in Tiki Beer Garden, which was lovely as the sun dipped below the horizon. After having a glass of rose, I ordered the Pimms jug — just perfect for a summer’s afternoon. Although it seems expensive (at $ 30 a jug), we got 5 glasses out of it, and it’s also a good option to share with a designated driver, as it’s low in alcohol. We shared a number of different food platters, including salt and pepper squid and pizza, with everything very tasty. I especially enjoyed the vegetarian, cheese and fig pizza. Definitely a good venue for group functions, although if you’re visiting without a booking you might find most of the outdoor areas are booked out by these!

Overpriced, noisy, stuffy, has TVs. Pretty much everything I hate in a pub. I paid $ 18 for a tiny salad with a single duck leg, it tasted good but later gave me indigestion. Beers were $ 8 each and very small selection. Staff are nice, probably the only good thing about this place.
ALSO it stank of cat pee? Weird place

The Balmain is a great local pub. The atmosphere is low key and friendly. Dogs are allow, which is perfect in Balmain. Staff are really friendly and the food is consistently good. Not to forget the espresso martini — which is amazing!

Visited Saturday arvo for a friends 40^th — we had an area reserved out in the garden, but only until 8 due to licencing rules I assume. The vibe out back was laid back and family friendly as well. Fish sliders, pulled pork sliders, fries with truffle oil, salt & pepper squid, and steamed dumplings were all pretty good.
We decided to make a move inside the the Bottoms Up bar and I was pleasantly surprised to see DJ Kate Monroe (Oxford Street flashbacks from many years ago!) spinning some crowd pleasers catering for the Balmain crew.
Perhaps because of the long weekend the place wasn’t busier but definitely has a great vibe that seems to cater for a large cross section of locals and visitors to this neck of the woods.
I plan on coming back

Was here for my birthday with family and friends and we had a pretty average experience.
The staff were kinda non-​existent. Do they have staff? I don’t remember seeing any. It was pretty quiet at the time we arrived and the staff seemed to have all the time in the world to serve, so they took that time. I remember walking up to get a drink for 3 of us and it taking an eon to get attention, and an aeon to get served. The beer tap must be set to boring, because it took so long to pour I was taking photos of photos (how meta of me).
The space itself is quite festive. Sexy lighting and contrasting colours all give off this wonderful vibe. Exposed brick. Nice one, never seen that before. The red and blue awning is sahweet (like lemon).
First impression in the back courtyard was the stale beer smell. I couldn’t work out where it was coming from… till I picked it up… the menus, which are laminated, had obviously been wiped down with the same rag that is used to clean up the beer slops bucket. They were sticky, still wet, and smelly. It wasn’t a good start.
The courytard area itself was actually nicely closed off and offered us a semi-​private section to celebrate whilst above us others enjoyed a Sunday arvo sesh.
The menu is really ambitious. Sweet Portuguese slow dances with a spicy Jamaican, whilst traditional Chinese seduces a redneck American.
The hit dish was the Jerk Salmon w chinese brocolli and pineapple salsa. My birthdaygänger (non-​twin same-​day diff-​year birthday) had this and was gushing at its glory.
I had the BBQ Texas scotch fillet w potato bacon and jalapeño salad. It sounded superb, but the steak was poorly cooked, a large chunk of un-​rendered fat sat un-​tantalisingly in the middle of the scotch fillet, which itself lacked seasoning and had the consistency of a flogged horse. Upon seeing the dish I immediately regretted not ordering the sliders, which come in 4 varities, and at 4 for $ 20 (or $ 6 each) seemed like good value, and looked good — though the girls that chose them, weren’t raving — so if I could pick again it’d be that Jerk Salmon.
The Aspen fries with pecorino, truffle & rosemary (what’s the deal with truffle fries these days???) sounded amazing, and the first few tasted good, before you realise that the flavours don’t really work that well together, and what you get is really over-​powered by cheese and salt with that distinct hit of rosemary… you can’t even taste the potato. After a handful, two of us sharing a bowl left the remainder. Everyone at the table tried them, thought they were great, but more than half the serving was left un-​finished… Speaks for itself.
Lamb ribs looked dry instead of juicy, and whilst I too was assured they were good, they went unfinished also. The prawn, green papaya and peanut salad was a poorly composed dish that gave the impression it was lacking additional elements. It was also rather sauce-​less making the overcooked prawns dry and uninviting.
Inside in the bottoms up bar, it looks like The Balmain has tried to ingratiate itself to the selfie-​stick-​loving, social-​media muppets of society. If that’s our future, somebody help us. Nobody wants to live in a world where in order to go to the pub, people need to get dressed up in their trendiest outfits, and spend half their night in the pop-​up photo booth, creating photos, to put on their facebook to pretend how great their mediocre life is… So mediocre, in fact, that they spent it at The Balmain taking photos of themselves all night with a fake smile instead of actually going somewhere they enjoyed and living in the moment, then and there, rather than savouring one that never existed.
Woah! (end rant)
I probably would come back to The Balmain again, but would skip the food and do the Sunday arvo sesh upstairs instead… That looked like fun. No pretention, just a few bevvies with buds in Balmain.

Felt compelled to write a review as the ones below weren’t too favorable.
I have to say I really like this pub. Whether the food portions have changed I went there relatively recently and everyone I was with really enjoyed the meals. We had pulled pork burgers which were delicious and the salt & pepper squid to start which was very tender and also super tasty. Others also had the Chicken Larb — an alternative to your normal pub grub and I think there was a chicken salad and Polynesian style fish in there too which was all well received.
We have always found the staff super friendly, adhering to our requests for putting rugby on the screens so we can watch the game and also bringing us particular beers on tap from the other bar if requested.
The garden out the back is good fun and is a different vibe to other Balmain venues. Cocktails and punch bowls have aways gone down treat if there were a few of us but to be fair they have been a bit inconsistent. All in all though I would recommend this pub for a stop over if you’re in the area!

If you are planning on providing your pet flea with an oversized and filling meal this is the place NOT to come. Servings are minuscule and rather pathetic… Not to mention over priced. The only plus side I can find within this venue is the well sized courtyard and a recent arcade version of Buck Hunter. I will make sure to pee on this venue’s outside perimeter as I stagger home from the many better pubs within Balmain.

Service was average and the portions were smaller than we are used to, however this pub turned mexican/​asian fusion eatery has good quality food and the beer is reasonably priced.
Cocktails, while a little expensive and take a while to concoct, are delicious (bloody mary was excellent). I’d recommend this for its very large backyard area in different levels — tends to mean its not as noisy as it normally would be all on one level. Lot of shading and some large tables for big groups as well.