Chicago Blarney Stone

At first there was no sign of anyone that worked there, but after a few minutes of waiting streams of black ichor began to drip from the walls and pool behind the bar. It churned and frothed, and then began to coagulate and configure into a non-​Euclidean shape my mind simultaneously begged to make sense of and howled to forget. White bones emerged from the oily puddle, latched together by sinews that grew like time-​lapsed vines up the sides of an ancient manor, before red muscle and then pebbled flesh covered all. Now fully formed, a demonic chimera of man and goat and stranger beasts emerge from within a pair of cocoon-​like folded leathery wings. The creature regarded me with its horizontally slit eyes with withering disinterest. Just one more ant upon the hill.
«How’s it goin’?» it asked, the question trumpeting through my soul like ten thousand voices screaming in unison.
«You know,» I whimpered, as one by one I began to forget my childhood memories, «living the dream.»
«Ha ha, I hear that. Hump Day, amiright?» Birds dropped dead from the sky, flowers withered. «Bud Light is on special.»
«Gross.» I lamented, and swore to a God I was certain wasn’t listening that I would repent and cease my wicked ways.
«Yeah.» The man sitting next to me began to rapidly age, and then dissolved into a cloud of dust, blowing away in the sulfurous wind. «Everything kind of is.»
The worst bar I’ve ever been to. The manager needs a serious attitude adjustment. Go to Nisei Lounge across the street for a proper dive bar.

I went here on a slow saturday afternoon, but could easily tell that this place has a lot to offer. It has a large game area with pool, darts, foosball, plenty of seating, and wiggle room so no one will be too crowded.
Bonus! The bartenders are super friendly and pour generous drinks!
Con: My bartender didn’t know how to make an old fashioned, but so what, he made it strong. When in doubt, make it strong.

Just awful. Awful service (but nice). Awful food. Awful draft beer. Dirty and empty on a Saturday night. Only ones there were newbies like us I suspect.

Best bar in Wrigley if you are trying to get away from the crowds, play a game of darts and get a cheap drink.

The owner and bartender are absolutely the sweetest people ever. Love the pool table and the drink are priced reasonably.

I dig divey bars, but this one did nothing for me. We had a beer here after a cubs game and it was pretty shady and smelled. Plenty of other options on Clark.

We ended up just walking into this bar and the staff was so friendly. It was a nice place to just grab a few drinks and play some pool. There weren’t that many people there, but the staff being so friendly definitely made the place a great experience.

I like there crispy wings and huge burgers. Fun to watch cubs games. Get’s a bit busy if you like this. More for a younger crowd.

I went in one day with friends and the place was deserted. However, they have pool, darts, golden tee, fooseball, and some other games… so it was a really fun time! Only down side… CASH ONLY :(wah wahh

Wandered in here trying to avoid the post-​Pride parade crowd.
1) Cash only. What? Is this 1968? This is a bar right? Don’t you want my money? That is a no-​go for me as I am not a big cash carrier and am not going to get bent over in fees using their no name ATM on site.
2) Thought it would be a cool Irish pub, but it’s really just a dumpy dive bar with a shamrock on the wall.
3) Calling their food «bar food» would be a compliment as I would have rather eaten McDonald’s.
4) Ew, Wrigleyville bar.
Yeah, never going back.

Free pool

It’s sad to say that I have been going to this place for at least 7 years and those 7 years the only thing that has changed is Golden Tee machines. They are at least updated every year a new model comes. A lot of the staff still work there from when I first started hanging out there or they are back again. It’s a cash only bar. I think the food is good for bar food but do not expect anything out of the ordinary. They have 3 dart boards, golden tee, pool table, and a foosball table for entertainment. The clientele is mostly neighborhood people or regulars. The place is usually not crowded unless there is a cubs game or it’s St Patricks day and parking if needed is street only.

bumpin up the place one more star because of the darts. I love coming here to play darts and the bartenders are so cool that they just go ahead and allow you to play (without the deposit or ID). ONLY if the place is pretty empty. On busier nights they’ll ask you for a deposit/​ID. Pitchers of bud light were $ 8

I went here last weekend to hang out and grab some cheap drinks with friends. ($ 1 kamikaze shots!)
If you’re a pretty laid back person and prefer a more relaxed atmosphere (like I know I prefer), this is a good place to go. Staff was great. The bartender was really nice. Good bar food, too.

$ 1 shots and taco’s luvvvvv this place!

The Blarney Stone is the hidden gem of Wrigleyville. To me it is literally hidden. Even though it’s on one of the main intersections in the area I somehow can never find it, but when I do I’m usually very pleased. The drinks are cheap, the food is even cheaper, and the service is solid. I have only been here a handful of times, but this place doesn’t let down. If you’re looking to avoid the Wrigley crazies then this place is your spot.

In wrigley to watch the NU & UofI fb game…
Every place is packed with young 20somethings @ 11AM… man I am getting too old for this sh**.
Well good ol Blarney to the rescue… no line, great drink specials so we all piled our old asses into here for some fb fun. $ 8 bud heavy pitchers and a table… we are SOLD!!! Love this little dive bar and to top it… U of I won :)

‘Twas the mourn’ of the game, when all through the hood,
Not a place was shitty, ‘cept where the Blarney Stone stood;
The table a mess by the floor filled of trash,
The crowd prayed a waiter soon would there dash;
The patrons were nestled all snug in their chairs,
While visions of French fries danced in their heads;
And mamma in her short shorts, and I not thinking,
Had just settled down for a long day of drinking,
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Pushed aside the Bud sign and threw up the sash.
The sun on the breast of the new-​fallen vomit,
Gave the lustre of mid-​day to drunks all around it,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a dog shit sandwich, and eight tiny piss beers,
And then, in a twinkling, I thought on my own,
I fucking hate this bar; I want to go home.
But as I drew in my head, and began turning around,
Old friends yelled «Stay! — can’t be the worst bar in town.»
A pile of poison on our table there lay,
We had been left by the waiter in a terrible way.
There we remained, five long hours stuck,
I, the whole while thinking «What a shitty catastrafuck.»
And pointing their fingers onto their tongues,
My brethren stood up to see all the tenders had gone;
Was it our bad luck or a sign from above?
Who cares? We all sang and gestured jizz doves.
But there as we sat, our nausea young, fresh and bright,
A clairvoyant young lad at the bar yelled,
«Happy food poisoning to all, and to all a good-​night.»

I don’t like this place. I have no idea why. Maybe it’s the $ 6 shots of Jäger. Maybe it was the bartender who slipped me his number right after I told him I was married. Or maybe I just don’t like the place.
The space is nice enough, two rooms with all the usual bar bells and whistles, jukebox, Golden Tee, dartboards, foosball table. The bar service is ok, except the watermelon shots tasted really off. Someone in my group complained about it and was told she didn’t know how to make a watermelon shot. Rude.
I guess it may be a typical Wrigleyville place, but I won’t be back.

interesting mix of people, kinda drab atmostphere though. However, they do have free pool and decent drinks. Probably wouldn’t come back unless it was after a Cubs game…

This bar kind of sucks. A buddy and I snuck out of Wrigley as the Cubs were getting shelled by the Cards (8 – 3), and were in search of air conditioning and somewhere to keep the buzz alive. Blarney stone did successfully provide a/​c and beer. So, there are 2 stars.
We were hungry, so he ordered «Chicago’s Best Wings» (as advertised on the yellow plastic sign outside). Big mistake. They were over fried, under sauced, and too crunchy. I ordered $ 1.50 beef tacos, and the meat didn’t taste right. Not sure what it was, but it was weird. I’m glad I didn’t get sick!
Never going in there again.

I’m starting to freak out a little bit because I walked past Blarney this past Sunday during Pride, intending to go in, and the iron gate was pulled across the door; walked past yesterday afternoon and they were CLOSED AGAIN. Now, neither of these days were game days, so maybe I shouldn’t lose my breath a-​la-​Beyonce style just yet… but if this bar is close before I have had a chance to make my triumphant return, let me tell you, I am going to be PRETTY TO’d!
You see, back in 2005 I was looking for an apartment with my friends. We were regulars at Blarney (I mean who isn’t?)…and we actually looked in to renting the shoebox of a «3 bedroom» above Blarney, with the elaborate plan that we would become BFFs with tha bartenders, etc etc. Seeing that not even twin bed could fit into the bedrooms, we decided against it and moved one block away on Seminary. I digress…
For the naysayers… THIS IS A DIVE BAR. That is what it wants to be. The people who give Blarney a bad review obviously have no business being here and need to head north on Clark a bit and try one of the other yuppy establishments… the ones that open and close within every 6 months.
Where else can you get a $ 1 hot dog with a $ 1 root beer, kamikaze, or watermelon shot purchase?! WE CALL THIS DINNER WHERE I COME FROM. (Tennessee) Not to mention Golden Tee, a few good pool tables, good cheap drinks, and bartenders who aren’t full of BS.
And yes, they are CASH ONLY. Deal with it.