Hawthorne Liquor Store

This is a meh liquor store. They don’t know a lot about what they sell. Maybe a change of staff?

There are two liquor stores on Hawthorne in Portland, one of which doesn’t suck. This is not that one. Super limited hours. Closed Sunday. Unfriendly staff. Super disorganized. Just really no reason to go here.

There are only a couple ways in which a Portland Liquor store may distinguish itself. Selection, layout, and customer service (which might include events/​tastings). And how often are they even utilized. So when my much anticipated stop at the liquor store leaves me feeling a bit annoyed and angry (and ultimately without what I went in for), I gotta steal back one of them stars.
Looking for a new regular stop on my way back from teaching art to kids. Man do I need a drink and smokes. The woman behind the counter reached for my stuff, while the oblivious customer stood blocking the entire counter although her purchase had been made. I asked for American Spirit orange. She started to hand me a somewhat orange pack that looked nothing like my regular pack. They color code them to avoid this problem! When I stopped her and voiced my concern, she responded «so, you want em?» I asked if she knew what flavor/​strength they were — she voiced her own knowing of nothing about it. No apologies, no «I will try and find out for next time». She just lacked class all around, and I’n left trying to find a new place, convenient to my commute.

Pretty standard Oregon Liquor store. Not open on Sundays. Helpful employees are always a plus.

Went in yesterday looking for a specific locally distilled spirit. The store was a disorganized mess, and the two clerks did not know the stock. I found what I went in for (on my own), but I won’t be back.

Great selection of liquor. I stopped in to look for a couple of items that we can’t find it WA, and I found both.
The man behind the counter was friendly and I didn’t feel bad that we were taking our time to look around.
On another plus side, (I look quiet young for my age) I didn’t feel like I was being stared down the entire time I was in there.

great

What have I gotten from here and enjoyed?
Under $ 10? Crème de Cocoa, Absolut 5 airplane sampler for $ 5.95!
Under $ 25? Bushmils Irish Honey
I found Grand Gala here when I searched at least three other places for it.
And it’s about a ten minute walk from home. Win.

Any liquor store that sells Peruvian Pisco gets points in my book. I dropped by this establishment while waiting to be seated for dinner. So, it was super convenient. The staff were nice and pointed me in the direction I needed to go. The place was fairly hopping for a late afternoon on a summer Saturday. They also had a woman in here promoting a locally made whiskey. So yeah, this was a nice place to kill time.

Top 10 reasons why this liquor store does not suck:
1. They sell liquor to me
2. Nobody there has insulted my honor (or that of my family)
3. They carry Soju
4. Gunplay is kept to a minimum
5. It’s next door to East Side Deli, so if I want a sub to go with the half-​gallon of Monarch Blended Whiskey in a PET bottle that I’m about to use as general anesthesia to perform DIY home surgery, then I am set
6. Did I mention that they sell liquor to me?
7. The staff is not surly (they’re only surly-​lite®)
8. Decent selection of locally distilled spirits
9. I’ve never been kicked out
10. The liquor they sell me gets me loaded
Bottom 3 reasons that this liquor store only gets 3-​stars:
3. See #7 above.
2. The selection is pretty standard — not too much crazy/​fun stuff
1. Closed when I drove by today (Thursday) at 7:10 p.m. — That’s too early!
Since it’s one of the closest OLCC approved liquor dispensaries to my house, and usually on the way home from wherever I am at, I buy booze here sometimes.

Is this the most inspiring of shops for libations? I think not. Will it do in a pinch? Well, yes, considering the fine state of OR does not allow liquor to be sold in grocery stores (who came up with this insipid statute??)…Will any of the workers chat you up about the various nuances of a single malt Scotch? No, not on your life… sigh…this is like a quick-​n-​dirty stop for people on their way home from wherever to get a fifth of poison-​of-​their-​choice, and be done with it.
Brightly lit, fluorescent to boot, not particularly inviting, tho’ if you drive over, there is ample parking. Not crowded (at least when I strolled in), and there does seem to be quite a selection available. I picked up something special for The Big Man’s Christmas stocking (ssshhhhhh…) and the transaction was swift & efficient.
Will I be a regular customer? Probably not. If I’m going to part with some cash, I’d like a more personal sort of customer service, but then again, perhaps in this part of town, anonymity is a good thing… they most likely have what you’re looking for.

Yes, they let you buy hard alcohol. Yes, their selection is probably moderate, but in the midst of all the full bottles, the choices are staggering. Yes, the store is mostly clean and well-​lit. No bitches getting stabbed in the parking lot, at least not from what I’ve seen.
But if you happen to be in line for your purchase and the counter-​person takes and scans your ID and it happens to be your birthday, yes, the scanning device plays the birthday song. It plays it in a tinny, midi-​style tone, no less. Bee bo bee bum bing bing.
And yes, the counter-​person couldn’t just wish a benevolent day of birth and be done with the transaction. Instead, he asks, «Oh, so it’s your birthday?»
«Really?»
“Yeah, that thing plays that song when it’s the person’s birthday.” Then he pauses, like we’ve just shared a magic moment because we both know my date of birth. And he adds, «Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone how old you really are.»
«I’m. Not. OLD. Die, liquor store worker!»
Maybe in my youth, I would have pitched a fit. You would have seen the broken bottle bits lodged in the most uncomfortable crevices of the former counter-​person on the six o’clock news. But I like to believe I’ve traded my spitfire for strength in these mature years. I did not stab the bitch. Instead, I took my whiskey, gave a hint of a smile, and proceeded to prove that youth is merely a wetter perspective.